To Karona About Positive Attitude

Sherrine, I think of all the things you have, the Ankylosing Spondylitis sounds the worst! And you have such a nice and positive attitude, too. How do you do it? I am so totally defeated and have no self-esteem anymore.

I have a very strong faith in not only God but also in myself.  I feel I have a good head on my shoulders and you do too!  I have found that worrying over illness doesn't help me on tiny bit.  Thinking about how I feel doesn't change how I feel.  It actually will make me more miserable.  So I just don't do it.  Common sense, huh?

I want to live my life as everyone else does and I'll be darned if I'm going to let these things stand in my way.  I try things to see if they will help me.  I research things to see if there is anything new out there.  I refuse to sit still and take this sitting down.  I will not let illness defeat me.  Golly, Karona, if you let it defeat you, you will be this way for the rest of your life.  I don't think you find that acceptable.

I find that if I focus on the positive things in my life, things go smoother for me.  We all have so many positive things in our lives but, when suffering from chronic pain, it's so easy to zero in on that instead.  I don't do that because it doesn't change a thing or help me on iota.  Instead, I come here to help others, go about taking care of my home, shopping, cooking, doing genealogy...just doing things I enjoy and living my life. 

I try anything once.  I was really hesitant a few years ago to try parasailing but I always wanted to do that.  I started to worry about what it might do to my fibro, my ostomy, etc. and then I put a screetching halt to that negative thinking.  I cast my fate to the wind and gave it a shot.  OMG!  It was wonderful and a fabulous experience, too!  I nearly talked myself out of it because of this illness and that illness!  Now that really would have been a shame. 

I have a lovely friend who had an ostomy performed last year.  She has wanted to go swimming so badly but is letting fear rule her.  I've tried talking to her.  I have a swimming pool and swim daily and never have had a problem.  Been snorkeling for the afternoon, too.  But you know what?  She is allowing illness and fear to overcome her.  I gave her suggestions and even told her to fill her tub and sit in it and she would see that she had no problems but she hasn't done that.  She has convinced herself that she can't do that!  She still hasn't gone swimming!  What a shame.  Life is too short.  I never convince myself that I can't do something.  As far as I'm concerned, I can do anything I put my mind to.

So you see what I'm getting at?  First, try making two lists.  One you can list the negative things in your life.  The other list is the positive things in your life.  I guarantee that the positive list will be far longer than the negative list!  I know right off the bat some positive things about you.  You are smart, have a good head on  you shoulders, have a roof over your head, have food on the table, you can see, you can hear, and  you have loved ones around you.  Right there are seven blessings already!  We all have these but don't think about them.

I'm very aware and keep myself aware of my blessings.  This really puts a smile on my face, too.  I appreciate all living things.  I am at awe just looking at the beauty around me...the various flowers with their brilliant colors, the trees, the blue sky with white puffy clouds, bugs and how they move and find food, I love watching the squirrels and birds and just enjoy all of these blessing that God has given us to enjoy.  Again.  This makes me smile.  It not only makes me smile but it makes me not think about how I feel.  This also raises the endorphines in the brain and makes you happier and more positive.

I'm not a pollyanna.  I am quite realistic about things but I am also joyful...just happy to be alive and enjoy all these things.  I do have my down days like everyone else and have been hit a couple of times with severe depression but I have managed to work my way out of that too because of my outlook on life.  Not everyone can do that but there are still things they can do to help their situation. 

So, keep looking for things to help you be in control of your pain.  We can help there, too.  I've given out what helps me and so have others.  Try these things and see if they help you get in control of the pain.  I have never tried to be pain-free.  I don't think it's possible unless I drugged myself up.  Plus, thinking that way would become all-consuming to me so I don't do that.  I just am in control of the pain and enjoy the life I've been given.  I figure I only have one shot at life on this planet and I plan on making the most of it...and with a clear head to boot! 

I could go on and on but this is getting quite long.  I think you have a good idea as to what I do to have the attitude I do have.  It has helped me more than most medications.  I don't worry when another illness is thrown at me either.  I know I can handle that too.  I don't have pity parties because no one comes plus I know so many others that have things far worse than I do.  This, too, makes me thankful for the illnesses I do have because they haven't caused me to stop living.  I know that sounds a little crazy but that's how I approach life.  I approach it with a smile on my face and I rejoice in each new day because I have so many blessings.

Sherrine