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If I'm in a lot of pain I try to avoid people

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Posted 9/13/2012 6:00 PM (GMT 0)
almostmedfree - You asked on another thread about acting pleasant when you don't feel pleasant?
My answer is no. If I'm in a lot of pain I try to avoid people, because I don't want to bite their heads off.

My family has learned to read my body languge and avoid me on high pain days.

There are days when I have to interact with other people and I'm feeling horrible. I'm short with them and my patience is very thin. I can't hide my misery.
Posted 9/13/2012 6:20 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Joy,

Very interesting thread. Thanks for responding to this question of mine from another post.

I guess I've been that way all of my life from having a difficult childhood then being in an abusive marriage for many years.

Raising children with fibro, I worked at making the best of things. Like my ex-mother-in-law would tell me: Keep a stiff upper lip.

What I get is quiet when I'm having a flare.

So, I would be interested to know if I'm alone in this?

Thanks!
Posted 9/13/2012 6:48 PM (GMT 0)
I don't "act" pleasant.  I don't put on a facade.  I am pleasant because I am glad to be around people even if I'm hurting.  I've completely accepted the fact that I will be dealing with chronic pain the rest of my life so I work around it.  I have to if I'm going to live my life!  Many times just being with people and doing something different takes the focus off the pain and I do enjoy myself. 

 

If I'm totally in misery, I'm like Joy.  I just don't go anyplace.  I will stay at home and vegetate in front of the TV or the computer.  This is a time I will dig into the genealogy, too. 

 

Sherrine

Posted 9/13/2012 6:48 PM (GMT 0)
Our house is a war zone when i and my dh are both in pain. I know i get short tempered. He does too. He told me today he carried something heavy, i think an a/c compressor, on his shoulder. This is one of his weak spots. He has a class after work. I have been hurting for the past 24 hrs. Today, being worse than yesterday. Walked a lot Monday and saw ortho yesterday who moved my legs a a lot. If you hear yelling, it may be us. I know we will be arguing about something.
Posted 9/13/2012 8:02 PM (GMT 0)
I am a person who needs things to be calm and pleasant. I need balance. I don't like to snap at others and cause them pain because I'm in pain. I've been on the receiving end of that too many times.

I have had several stressful yrs that pushed all my buttons. I had to remain as calm as possible, because others were depending on me. My life overall is in a calmer state of being. So is my BP!

I try very hard to think before I say something, as my first reaction may be too harsh. Sometimes I analyze too much.

When I go out, I greet ppl w/ a smile and a 'how are you?'. Even if I feel like death warmed over. I have found ppl like to see a happy face. It puts all of us in a better frame of mind.

There are days I'm not fit to be around company. I try to keep close to the house. After 35 yrs, my DH knows when I'm not feeling great. I try not to get upset w/ him, he isn't the cause of my flare - usually. lol

When I'm not feeling great, I try to read a book, listen to music I like, work on my scrapbooking, cuddle my puppies, I also do genealogy. I try to get past this mentaly and physically, w/ as little damage to relationships as possible. 

God bless.   Alice.

Posted 9/13/2012 8:36 PM (GMT 0)
I've always used distraction as a way to lessen pain. Being with others and having fun helps take the focus off the pain.

There are not too many times that I've turned down an invittation due to a flare and I've been known to throw parties while I'm flaring.

If I'm really hurting with a migraine or feel nauseas...that is a differant story...then quiet works for me.

Most times, I try to keep smiling...scleroderma hasn't robbed me of my smile (at one time I feared that would happen) so I try to smile often even when I'm hurting.

Joy and laughter are good for the soul. It makes people happy...it makes peple whole.

Hugs, Robin
Posted 9/14/2012 10:02 AM (GMT 0)
Yes, when I'm in a flare I don't go anywhere. It would only make me feel worse.

My fiance can see if I'm in more pain than usual. He understands if I need to be quiet, thankfully. In fact he can tell just by looking at my face what number I'm experiencing at the moment from 1 to 10 with 10 being the worse. It's amazing.

It makes my fibro pain worse if I'm around people who are acting loudly or aggressively. It would also make me feel worse if I acted that way myself. Like Irish Babe, I need balance. The less stress I'm experiencing the better it is for me.
Posted 9/14/2012 11:35 AM (GMT 0)
For so many years I put on this face that everything was ok and I was doing great. My husband knew that after the day was done, and the kids went to bed, I was hurting, but I tried to hide it from everyone. I mean, the doctors said there was nothing wrong with me, so I must be fine right?

These days I've learned that the more I'm around people (and out of my bedroom!) the better I do/feel. Does it take the pain away? No. Does it help me deal with everything? Most days. Then again, I'm a very social person anyway, so that may be why I prefer being around people.
Posted 9/14/2012 1:58 PM (GMT 0)
I enjoy being around people, but for a longer length of time only with people who would be understanding of my limitations if the subject needed to come up for example if I needed to sit down or leave.

For many years I was married to a man who scoffed at my limitations and didn't believe or couldn't understand what the doctors were saying.
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