Having a really rough day

I have been working as a CNA for a little bit and unfortunately have decided that I am unable to do the job. At least not the way I feel I need to, which is 100%. I started out okay and when I got sick it felt to me that everything changed. I still try to understand the lable that I feel has been put on people with fibro. It seems like if they meet one person with fibro then they have met them all. I worked with a young girl there who also had fibro she was only 19 and I am 41 our symptoms although similar were very diffrent in the way they affected us and how we did things. To everyone else they used it to compare us and ask" well she can do this why can't you"? One of the issues I ran into at work was we were allowed one break which we took an hour and 1/2 after we got there. There were no other breaks unless you asked the nurse and if she felt you needed one you could have one. I have never ran across that anywhere else. I think with being a CNA the extra 15 min break is necessary for your sanity and your body. Having fibro on top of that and recovering from being sick I really needed that break. It was a constant battle to ask the nurse and with no understanding. I have  had headaches almost everyday as well as flare ups, and panic attacks. I can't put my body through this anymore. I feel once again that I have let my loved ones down and sometimes still feel they don't understand at all what it feels like to go through flares.  I did what I needed to do, but I am having a really tough time with the decision. Sometimes it would be nice to have validation. I gave myself that. I had to no one else was going to. But I still feel like I made the wrong decision. I just need some support. And thanks for this forum so that I can vent when I feel lost and alone!!!!!!

Oh Lisa,

WE will give you validation! I remember thinking when you decided to go back to doing CNA work that it would be really hard. But you tried your best, (no one can do more than that!) and now you'll never have to wonder....you know exactly why you can't do it anymore. It's grueling work for anyone, let alone someone with Fibro. That could well be why you got so sick - your body was just pushed too hard.

I am sorry, though. I know you enjoyed helping people. It's such an important job....why our society doesn't put more value on it is beyond me - (that's a subject I could go off on for about 5 pages, don't get me started....)

Take it easy on yourself for awhile. YOU know you've earned that, and you need it, even if no one around you understands why. As for the financial angle, I hear you. Not a day passes that I don't wish I could really contribute, instead of doing little sub jobs now and then. But so it is.

Debbie

Sorry you feel like you've fail. When I was torn between leaving teaching or continuing on my boss made the decision for me and fired me. He believed my health was affecting my work too much.
For months I felt like a failer and that I had let my family down. I'm just now coming to terms to a life without a job. I'm on long-term disability payments and working towards social security approval.

The main thing I'm getting at is...You are not a failer! Your health is important. If working makes you sick then don't work.

Wow, Thank you all some much for your post's and your support. I needed that so desperately! I can't tell you all how much it means to me to have this forum and beable to know that I won't be judged for the decisions or feelings that I have. I will look into doing home health care and see if there is anything available here. Thank you all for your post's once again they made me feel better and I apprichiate that. I hope you all have a wonderful day!