HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

What I've benefited from having fibromyalgia

Support Forums
>
Fibromyalgia
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 6/12/2013 3:24 PM (GMT 0)

Sometimes I need to remind myself that fibromyalgia isn't just something bad that I need to learn to cope with. It has also done good things for me... and somehow, that makes getting through the pain that much easier.

There are so many things that I have learned from having FMS that I just don't think I would have learned by this stage in life if I'd been healthy.

Here is a list of some of the skills I've developed (and lessons I've learned) during my fibromyalgia:

Understanding - learning to actually try to understand what someone is going through

Compassion

A sense of equity

Empathy

Kindness

Realising that everyone goes through troubling times that I'm not even aware of

Learning that achievements and performance are nowhere near as important as relationships are

Listening to what people are REALLY saying

Humility – recognising that everyone has their frailties and I shouldn’t judge them for that (ooh... it's so hard to admit that I used to be judgemental when I was younger!)

Realising that self-care is important because health is a resource for doing the things that are important to me; also, learning to take really good care of myself from such a young age will probably decrease my chances of getting lifestyle diseases

Finding out who my real friends are

Discovering what I want to be when I grow up - an occupational therapist! 

Commitment - I have to be committed to achieve anything with this condition

Patience - with people who don't understand, with people who are disabled, with the flare-ups that can take quite a while to subside, with the pain that just never goes away

Soul-searching - not doing anything for months at a time allowed me to figure out quite a bit of my belief system and values

Hope - what it really means in my life: a driving force towards a worthy goal that gets me through the tough times, and trusting that God is in control whether it feels like it or not.

Joy - being happy even in tough situations; learning to smile even when I don't feel like it, then deliberately looking for something that could possibly explain that smile on my face... and finding something to really smile about! (sounds silly, I know, but it helps me)

 

What has living with this condition taught you guys?

Posted 6/12/2013 6:00 PM (GMT 0)
Jasmine,

I think you're incredibly mature for your age! It took me way longer to figure out a lot of this stuff.

Your idea that particularly struck me (today, anyway) was our having no idea what someone else might be dealing with. So often, I'll get irritated with a person, or hurt, forgetting that I'm not walking in their shoes. I think what goes along with this understanding is another one - that so little of what anyone else does is because of us....it's not about us at all, it's about them....for the most part.

Debbie
Posted 6/12/2013 6:39 PM (GMT 0)
i know, i was thinking how young you were also and yet I feel I am learning lots from you!!!

My main one is it has slowed me right down. This is a good thing, as I was living life way too fast. It has made me realise how important my family is.

It has also taught me to be aware of our lifestyle, what we eat and our health.

I also appreciate things much more. Before I was dreaming of earning lots of money and us to get our dream house, now im just happy to keep my job and the house we live in currently :-)
Posted 6/12/2013 6:48 PM (GMT 0)
Not only are you mature for your age but also have a lot of wisdom that most don't have until later in life.  This post is wonderful and I agree with all of it.  I'd add to it but right now I think you've covered just about everything!  Let me give it the old college try, though. 

 

Yes, having compassion and not judging the "book by it's cover" are lessons I learned early on.  I've met a lot of judgemental people in my life but am happy they haven't had to walk in my shoes and I'm also happy I'm not like them.  smilewinkgrin

 

Another thing I learned is about helping others.  I always did to some extent and have done volunteer work since I was in high school but once I started developing illnesses I wanted to do as much as possible to teach about the illnesses and how one can help themselves instead of being a victim of the illness. 

 

That's about all I can think of right now.  This is a great thread!

 

Sherrine

Posted 6/12/2013 7:55 PM (GMT 0)
Totally agrees with all the comments above. You seems to have shown a level of maturity that I never seen in teenager/ uni students (and i teach at a uni), their priority if very different.

Having this condition, does make me be more emphathetic to other's suffering.

When I first join this forum, I was angry and sad because I felt I've been dealt a very raw deal. But as days gone by and I'm coping better, life seems a lot bearable.

May be all of it has anything to do with FMS, but FMS does play a main role in my life.

I'm in a better mental state now than i was 12 months ago. Things are slowly moving where I want it to go.

I thank this forum for their support and kind words as well.
Posted 6/12/2013 7:58 PM (GMT 0)
Very deep, JG, Very deep....

You are definately an old soul.
Posted 6/12/2013 9:41 PM (GMT 0)
Wackers,

It slowed me down too. And I am thankful for that. I have learned to take life one day at a time. And I have learned to live in the moment. I am thankful for both of these things. I even find mushrooms better in the woods because I walk slower. LOL...

Great thread!!!

Hugs, Karen
Posted 6/13/2013 1:57 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you for sharing. I never thought and look at it like that way. You will be a great therapist. I use to know several occupational therapist that work on my ortho floor. I could never be one. I would do things for the patients instead of them learning.
Posted 6/13/2013 2:12 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks guys... the only reason I can think of is this: I've always been reading stories where the hero or heroine goes through tough times and decides to approach these challenges as learning experiences rather than roadblocks; this is what sets the heroine apart from the other characters in the story. I remember when I was 11 years old and I had this epiphany - I suddenly determined in my heart that no matter what came my way, I would choose to approach it like a heroine would! (Because every kid wants to be the hero in the story, right?) Of course, now it's not about being the hero... I want everyone to deal with things well, not just me! That's why I posted this...

Debbie, you're so right. That idea is the only thing that got me through the bullying at school... that the bullies are really just insecure in themselves or going through difficult things in their lives, and that's why they were saying mean things to me. With this in mind, I tried to build up the confidence of the bullies... after a few months they stopped bullying me and I even became friends with two of them! How about that? Also, I know sometimes I tend to think that what I'm going through is worse than what the people around me are going through - I have to remind myself that the truth is I really don't know! Their particular struggle is probably just as hard for them as the FMS is for me!

Yes, slowing down and being aware of things... definitely a bonus!

Hi ak angel, my passion has ALWAYS been teaching and helping others. I remember the first big way I helped someone out was in grade 6. There was a kid in my class with learning and behavioural disorders, so I would help him out with his homework. Before I knew it, the teacher decided to give us a seating plan, she deliberately seated me next to that kid and she asked me if I could help him with his work and to help him to stop interrupting the rest of the class. She knew it wouldn't matter if he interrupted me because I always kept up with the workload (ah, my attention span isn't what it was). So, over the course of that year I really learned how to teach someone else to figure out things for themselves (there was no way I was going to do his schoolwork for him like he kept on begging me to do!) and how to manage difficult behaviour. As I look back on that experience, I'm like, yep, I can be an OT. But there are different ways of helping people... your way sounds more like a nurse.

 

Post Edited (Jasmine Grace) : 6/12/2013 8:34:50 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 6/14/2013 1:06 AM (GMT 0)
Jasmine- you got my past occupation right. Lol I did nursing for 24 years. Had to give it up due to my health.
Posted 6/14/2013 2:03 AM (GMT 0)
Ha ha... more proof that I'm INFP
Posted 6/14/2013 6:48 AM (GMT 0)
I was thinking about this exact thing last night. I agree with all of your points!

I have learnt that an achievement doesn't make a person. I am a classic A-Type, high achiever, perfectionist, busy, motivated & A-grade kinda person.... And I have realized since being unwell that those things aren't quite as important as I thought, and that sometimes it is the smallest things that make the biggest difference in the world.

I have also learnt that letting other people help you isn't a weakness, and that some people actually feel honoured that you asked them to help. (Sounds weird, but a couple of my friends have recently said 'I feel so good when you ask me to do something for you, because I feel like I have entered your world and made a difference, and that makes me feel good') I know it sounds odd, but I have learnt that letting people into my weaknesses actually gives me strength, and gives them strength too! I am also always extremely thankful to them, and that makes them feel good too!

Thirdly, I have learnt that you can actually have a lot of fun just lying on a couch talking to others, and that when you are living a faster paced life you can actually miss out on those moments because you are too busy to just sit or lie talking to people or listening to them.

As much as I hate being sick, I am very thankful for it.... Because I really know that I am learning more about myself through it.

Thank-you for starting this thread- it feels good to share these things with others

Much love and gentle hugs to everyone
xxx
Posted 6/14/2013 7:16 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for sharing, BecciClaire - you raised some good points!
Posted 6/24/2013 9:27 AM (GMT 0)
Hi guys, I just watched a lecture online - and it was so good! I just had to post a link to it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8Rk9HxYDdQ

It's a lady speaking about fibromyalgia because her mother has it. It's really good! It was definitely worth watching it to get to the last 20 mins, that's where all of her insights are. It could even be a good thing to show to your family.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply