My worst case scenario today

So I've got two major cumulative exams back to back (tomorrow and Wednesday) and of course I have the mother of all flares. Unbelievable timing! I assume its the stress causing my body to freak out like this....

Please if anyone has any suggestions as to how I can cope with this painful bombardment...please share because I'm about to give up!

I cant focus on my studies because of the pain. My whole body aches with flu-like symptoms, I have a migraine (something I NEVER get), and I cant even take an Advil because of the bloated stomach pains. My feet are cold again and now even the skin on my hands irritates me! I keep turning up the a/c but its too cold at any temperature...my neck hurts...oh and my sweet little dog refuses to leave my side but she keeps passing gas and the smell...oh the smell...its like a nightmare!

Sherrine, I took 3 hot showers today! They always feel good but the relief doesn't last long. Ibuprofen upsets my stomach and Tylenol upsets my skin for some strange reason...

However, my sister was telling me that the prickly skin sensations I get sound like tactile hallucinations to her..she works in a psych ward and the schizophrenics tell her the same things I tell her about my skin. That is very disturbing to me. I thought it was a fibro thing...now I'm not so sure. Could this really all be in my head?

I believe you will do fine on the tests. Try not to sweat it too much. If you worry too much you'll just make yourself worse.
Try to relax and remember all of the things you have learned in the class and just apply them to the questions when you get them.
Meanwhile, try to relax some. You'll feel better.
Your little dog knows you're feeling bad and wants to comfort you. Sit and hold him for awhile to help you unwind.
Also you can put a clothespin on your nose to help with the smells. ;)

So it gets worse....after so much studying and enduring so much pain I failed my exam by 1 point. My professors are so rigid that they will not make any exceptions even with a doctor's note. This exam was the only way to secure a spot for the internship program. Now I will have to find another way to secure an internship for myself and it will not be easy with a big fat FAIL on my transcripts.

There are no exact words to describe how I'm feeling...all I can say is...angry, sad, but mostly shame. I feel ashamed that I ruined an excellent academic record that took YEARS to accomplish...but even worse is feeling like you are less than everyone else, since 95-99% of my classmates passed the test. I'm inconsolable today.

Jasmine - Do find that you have more trouble with the computerized tests than the paper tests. Because I only seem to fail those centralized proctored exams.

Fibromyalgia keeps taking and taking from me...

No, that was the second attempt. I missed it by 5 points on the first attempt. Each question is worth 1 point...so what happened to me today was due to my failure to answer 1 question. There is nothing remotely fair about that. A standardized test is not the best way to measure how well a person can do the job.

Liz,

Is your school aware that you have a 'disability'? (It's in quotes because I refused to be disabled - this is not a reflection on you or fibro in general!!) If not, I think it's time to tell them and see what you can do to get a third chance with the doctors note. If so, push the school until you get what you need. You are working under a severe disadvantage and quite frankly it's akin to you having a learning disability which 95% of schools would give an exception to policy. Keep at it! Remember that us fibros are really effing tough, Ben though we don't feel tough. Make it happen!

(And give yourself a pat on the back for how well you did under the circumstances. I'm not sure that I would have even shown up if I was goin through a flare. That is no joke - I hibernate and wait in horror while it processes!)

Myself- I spoke to my classmates who took the test and only one of them passed with flying colors. Everyone else, barely passed and the questions I remembered as having "questionable" answers, everyone told me they put the same answer as I did. So its hard to say what exactly I did wrong. I explained to my professor the way I analyzed the questions in the exam to reach the best conclusion and she said that's exactly how the test is designed to make us think about the questions. So in essence, I can't figure out what I did wrong. I will say this though, I have never done well in a proctored exam and I have even had cases where the computer records an answer I never clicked on. I honestly don't understand whats happening with that and I'm very worried because the exam you take to get your license is most likely computerized....and with my bad record....

Acheybody - Thanks!

Annabananna - I've been thinking about going to the disabilities office and discussing my options, but I can't do that until the doctor finalizes a diagnosis. I see him again on Tuesday. Lets see how it goes.

That's kinda my point, though. It's not personal, it's political. In good places, the political is the standard, in questionable places, the political is just the political. It sucks, but this is the game you are trying to play.

Both places where I did my graduate level stuff were, mostly, decent. I did have to scramble to populate my committee with people who wouldn't bring in outside politics to the table. But I was aware of this ahead of time, did the leg-work to bring decent people from other departments to my meetings, and it worked out for me. I saw many people who wanted to just trust their system, and hit serious trouble, through no fault of their own.

I just left the faculty of a school for many various reasons, some of which pertain to your issues with your program. That is all I will say about that.

Most schools will limits spots in their programs in keep quality up. If you only have five faculty teaching graduate level programs, they can only handle so many graduate students. Then, the politics of the greater university will take effect, small poor programs have constraints placed on them that larger, or better-funded programs will not.

One of the best things I deliberately did during my graduate work was to watch and learn the game. No, it's not fair, but navigating this is what it takes, sometimes.