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I feel so boring

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Posted 6/28/2014 4:24 PM (GMT 0)
Does any one else struggle with feeling they have become a boring person?

Because of fatigue, pain and fibro fog I feel that I don't have much to contribute to a conversation and just want to stay at home.

But even at home I feel that my husband is losing interest because I don't have the energy or desire to go, go, go as much as him. And when he is talking I struggle to keep up with the conversation or contribute much in return.

Any ideas to get through this problem?
Posted 6/28/2014 5:06 PM (GMT 0)
Camas- I feel 100 percent this way too!! At the end of the day I am tired. We do our seperate things. I am in bed early watching something on my I pad. He plays his video games. We don't go out and enjoy ourselves anymore. He doesn't like my movies and he has different interest then I do. I wanted to go camping this weekend, but he didn't want to go because of my health problems.
Posted 6/28/2014 5:48 PM (GMT 0)
Sometimes I feel that way (kind of boring). What I've done about it is to try to get out for at least short periods of time. I do struggle at times to contribute to conversations, too, and sometimes if I'm too 'foggy,' I find it's best to just mostly listen, nod, and smile a lot--it can get ya through a lot! yeah


I've always been a homebody, but I try to make that work for me (still working on and revamping that). I try to find new hobbies, change my schedule at times, and just look in general for ways to improve my day. I still love learning new things, too.  And, I love to 'dig into' my faith, which is a huge thing for me, and learn more about it.

Yes, I wish I could keep up with other family members! I chose to stay home this morning because I went out last night to an area event (fun!), got to bed too late, and then couldn't sleep. It was better for me to catch up on a little work this morning here at home and I feel better now.....and ready to go out for a bit this evening.

I think it's the little things--short outings and such--that work best for fibromites, but maybe that's just me? idea

Posted 6/28/2014 7:31 PM (GMT 0)
You know, I can see where you're coming from, Camas. But I don't necessarily feel that I actually AM more boring than I used to be. I do think people often make us FEEL that way, because they're not patient enough and don't really listen to where we're coming from. It goes back to that old issue of assuming we are this way because we choose to be, and it makes me livid.

For instance, my whole family is at our cabin today. They went up last night, and are now hiking around. They all encourage me to go, but when I reiterate that I can't get any sleep up there, and even the winding, high-altitude drive is tough, the eyes start glazing over. My son (age 31) has asked me numerous times over the past few years why I "don't like" the cabin....he assumes this to be a fact, even though I always say: of COURSE I like the cabin, it's gorgeous up there, who wouldn't??

The young man who might as well be my son-in-law suggested recently that maybe he could strap my mattress onto his car and drive it up there so I could stay for the night (the cabin mattresses are all at least 35 years old.) I was so touched! Not once in all these years has anyone suggested any special accomodations for me. This particular idea may or may not work (I'm going to try to make it), but the thought goes a looong way in my book.

My feeling is that you shouldn't buy others' view of you - when I used to do that, it drained me of all my energy. Now that energy is back, and I'm just angry a lot - not good either, but oh well....

You're still who you always were inside!

Debbie
Posted 6/28/2014 8:06 PM (GMT 0)
I don't feel I'm more boring but I do feel bored. I struggle with that but it's easy to be bored when you are by yourself. You don't have any constrictions. I come and go as I please and I'm sure that sounds really great but when I had my family at home I sure did a lot more than I do know. My home is clean, my gardens weeded and beautiful...now what? See what I mean?

People can make you feel boring or even dumb! I get that a lot because of my hearing loss so I remind myself I'm the same person I was before all of these illnesses hit me. I'm intelligent and not boring. Fibro and my other health issues will not take that away from me.

When my husband was with me I would keep abreast of what was going on in the world and we would talk a lot about current events, politics and genealogy. That was one hobby I did that fascinated him also. I would fill him in on history that isn't taught in schools today plus neat things I would find about our early ancestors that were family members here in the U.S. That provided a lot of conversation. So try to find something to learn that you can teach your family. You certainly won't be boring and they will enjoy learning something from you.

Angel, I'm sorry you couldn't go camping this weekend. I think you and your husband really need to sit down and talk...perhaps with your doctors. It almost sounds like he is "punishing" you for being sick. No one wants to be sick. We just weren't given the choice. I think he really doesn't have a clue what you are going through and he needs to be enlightened...most likely by someone besides yourself. I'll be praying for you. This has to be so difficult for you.

Luvsminis, short but sweet outings do work better for us but that's usually not what is going on. LOL So we need to work around fibro. You did that already. You had a good evening last night, knew you needed to rest some so you can go out again tonight. That's a great compromise! At least you aren't sitting at home. Talk about boring!

Debbie, why not get a memory foam mattress cover or an air bed that can be blown up in a few minutes. These could be kept at the cabin. While they are hiking you could curl up with a good book while dinner is simmering on the stove...if you have a stove. LOL You could enjoy the beauty all around you, enjoy your family (and obviously they really wanted you to be with them), and just have something different to look at than the same four walls. You can work around fibro to still do things you enjoy doing.

Sherrine
Posted 6/29/2014 2:19 AM (GMT 0)
Too true, Sherrine: Short but sweet outings do work better for us, but that's usually not what is going on. Phooey--ain't it the truth!!

Sometimes I feel like if I decide to go on an outing, I'm doing a marathon! I can get away with a little more now in the summer, when I'm a bit more flexible.

One plus is that I 'think' I'm getting better at pacing myself and avoiding any type of little stresses that decide to invade my life.

Today I made the decision to 'boot' an online email acquaintance who seems to have become more and more disagreeable (seems to be somewhat prejudicial in various ways and a chip on the shoulder). I felt too often I was talking to myself while trying to explain some things to this person. Not that this is a horrible or 'bad' person; just badly informed, and someone who refuses to look at another point of view, despite my providing links and articles with many facts. Those were just ignored and my viewpoint was mocked somewhat, so I'm done there...and it feels great! Kind of like completing some much-needed housework. :)

I think doing both of those (pacing/avoiding (if possible) stresses) has been a plus, at least for me, and while I'm not the Energizer bunny by any means, I do seem to have somewhat more stamina----at least sometimes.
Posted 6/29/2014 11:08 PM (GMT 0)
Camas,
You uncovered one of my secret fears. I have become more boring. I used to go,go go, and my husband still does. I know I slow him down. I no longer enjoy being in crowds of people, although I do it occasionally so as not to become so isolated. I guess at my age (mid 50's) I have the right to decide how to spend my free time after work and family commitments. I do worry that others will find me boring since my idea of a good time is a good book and the time to sit on the porch or family room with said book.
HEART
Posted 6/29/2014 11:36 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks to all who took the time to respond. It's nice to know others care and understand and that I'm not alone on this journey.
Posted 6/30/2014 5:56 AM (GMT 0)
I too feel boring. Have young people around and my grandson is standing with us for a while. He likes to do things and I just not up to it I feel bad for him. I've asked hi if he would rather go back but he say he isn't bored and love us and he does truth get me out but he still says he likes to stay with us. So what can you say to that? I used to be on the go all the time now I'm like a hermit.lol
Posted 6/30/2014 6:13 AM (GMT 0)
I've always been dull as dishwater. ;-)

I am bored though. I love to go but my body says, "Go? No!"
Posted 6/30/2014 10:50 PM (GMT 0)
I'm bored too sometimes and the days I feel better I think soon I will go here or there. Next day I think about what I thought would be nice to do but I'm just hurting and no energy. So I get more depressed about it. Good thing I have a family I love so much.
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