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Posted 4/1/2015 11:28 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone,

I know it has been awhile since I posted. This will be long so it may make up for it. First, I would like to thank all of you who are in this group and give me a place where I know people "get it".. It's been. Really hard as I have been flaring a lot and I don't feel I have support. My husband, who was also diagnosed with fibro but doesn't believe the dr!, (that's another whole story) told me the other day that maybe if I lost weight I would feel better. He is right I have gained a lot of weight, but that isn't the entire solution. I do need to exercise more but this leads me to my next dilemma.

I have had 13 right knee surgeries. I knew I would need another but thought it would be years away. I quit my last job because I could no longer work 40 hours. I had this past summer off and was then offered a job as a paraprofessional at an elementary school!! The PERFECT JOB. It's 30 hours, 15 sick days,3 personal days and I'm on a school schedule w summers off. Unfortunately it is only for a 1 year contract as I am filling in for someone on sick leave. My hope was to get my foot in the door and hope there would be an opening over the summer for another para job and I at least have experience now and they know me. Overall I have received great reviews.

Each year I am supposed to have an exray of my knee implant just to make sure it is structurally ok. I hadn't gone for a few years just because the last time I saw the Dr he said when u can no longer walk and the pain is unbearable we will do surgery..
Well I went just because they called and said u really need an exray. Thinking nothing of it I went for the exray and saw the PA, who I have known for years...at this point yes my knee hurts a lot, I could no longer put on my pants standing up etc but that was just "my life" well the PA was shocked how unstable my knee was. She sent me home w a brace and asked if I could wait to the summer? I said " to see the dr?, she said no for surgery!! I told her no way but I will make an appt to see my surgeon.

I really thought my surgeon would say it wasn't that unstable and I had more time....that's not what he said. 😓 he confirmed my knee was unstable in 2 different directions and a major ligament that goes from your femor to your shin bone has completely failed. It's no longer intact. The good news is he now knows why my other revisions failed and feel this next surgery SHOULD be my last for at least 10-20 years. They will drill out my femur put in a long stem(metal post) a few other things. Intense rehab and a 2-3 month recovery! Feeling overwhelmed is an understatement .

My last day of work/ school is June 22 and my surgery is scheduled for June 23rd.

One of my dilemmas is that I desperately would love to get hired back. If there is an open position I think I have a really good chance....now I may not be physically ready due to the surgery. I wasn't sure how to handle this and my absences from work. I told my boss everything, even my fibro. I told her I would most likely be out more often, like today.

I decided not to tell the principal, who is wonderful and has fibro, because I didn't want to have anyone being skeptical about rehiring me due to my health. My plan is that ,if a new positions opens up for next year, I will apply. If I get an interview during the summer. I will explain then. It will be obvious since I will have crutches or a limp or something. I do not think I will be ready to start right away in September but will cross that bridge once I'm recovering.

I'm really sorry this is so long. Any ideas on how to reduce the flares as often. My knee is constant pain but also gives out so I fall often. I'm so stressed about calling in sick and if I will have a job next year. Oh and the surgery....it will be extremely painful..one of the worst surgeries out of all 13....

hubby just walked in and said he was doing research on fibro!! That is a first..he said I need to reduce my stress and try swimming. I have to giggle to myself because I feel he causes a lot of it by getting upset if I call out sick or am taking a nap on the weekend

Anyway, thank you for listening, any suggestions on reducing the flares, or just words of encouragementment are welcome...feeling down and over whelmed. Oh just diagnosed w TMJ last night too
Posted 4/1/2015 2:36 PM (GMT 0)
Well, I'm overwhelmed just reading it. I can't begin to imagine your anxiety over this job and the impending surgery....again. You've been through it with the knee surgeries it sounds like. I am just starting to notice some pain in my knees when I turn to walk too quickly or something. I do have OA in my cervical spine, shoulder and probably left hip. We have yet to xray or mri that area. I'm a work in progress myself. lol

Anyway, I know how awful it is to stress over work, and hurt while doing it. I'm sorry you're going through so much, and it doesn't help to have someone upset with you for needing to rest on what should be your fun day off from work. I wish people could understand that we don't want to take a nap on a beautiful day off from work. We'd much rather be out enjoying it. I don't know how to reduce flares, because I seem to get hit with them over the smallest of things. I got one from the stress of telling my boss I have to quit to concentrate on my health. lol How's that for ironic? Anyway, I'm here to listen any time you need to vent.
Posted 4/1/2015 2:42 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Stacey. When I had to quit my last job I too was so stressed I had a flare. My employer at the time actually said it was ok for me to just leave that day and not have to stay the 2 weeks.

I wish u the best w your health and hope you are able to rest a little more, have less stress and less flares!! My dream😄

Thanks for being there. It felt good to get it all out!
Posted 4/1/2015 4:50 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry, Achey, for all that you're going through.

I was a teacher's aide 3 different times, and also loved the hours, benefits, etc. but the jobs kept ending due to lack of funding, and that's when I decided to become a sub. No bennies, but at least I can take or leave any given job and cancel up until 1 hr. before it starts, with no repercussions.

Well, anyway, it sounds like you have found your niche, now if your body would just cooperate!! How frustrating. You're doing a difficult juggling act here, and I wish you good luck with it!

Debbie
Posted 4/1/2015 6:35 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Debbie!
I did think of that as well. Maybe I could sub?? Thanks for the idea!!
Posted 4/1/2015 6:45 PM (GMT 0)
Goodness! You do have a lot on your mind and I'm glad just telling us has helped you a little bit. You asked for suggestions and encouragement so I will give some to you. :-)

First of all you do need to take one day at a time. You are projecting yourself in the future and no one knows what the future holds. Projecting yourself is putting excess stress on you and you are getting these flares. You realize this but are still focusing on the future. Try focusing on each day. The future will come along soon enough and you can focus on it then. Today is enough to handle.

As fas as surgery goes you are telling yourself how hard the surgery and recuperation will be. But you don't know for sure it will be the way you are thinking! Here is my example. When I was 42 years old I was told I needed to have my colon removed. I refused, made excuses and stressed myself silly over it. I couldn't imagine going through that surgery where they cut you from the sternum to the pubic bone...let alone living with an appliance. Nope! I wasn't going to do it. But then I HAD to do it because I was bleeding to death.

I finally made the decision to have the surgery and then looked forward to it. I knew I would feel a lot better and I would finally get out of the hospital. I would be able to eat more foods I loved too. So I entered I to the surgery with a positive outlook.

Before the surgery I was told there was a long recuperation and also I couldn't drive for five weeks after surgery. Then I was told to notify my family and let them know they wouldn't be hearing from me for several days after surgery because I would be totally out of it. I did what they asked but, because of my positive attitude, I expected to surprise the doctors...and I did!

I went down for surgery at 4 PM and was back in the room at 11:30 PM. See...I wasn't out of it because I checked the clock when I got in the room! tongue I slept all night but did have use of a morphine pump which was wonderful.

I awakened at 7 AM, felt so much better, raised the back of my bed to a sitting position, and looked at the beautiful day with snow wafting down. Remember, I was supposed to be out of it for at least two days! I called my husband before he left for work and he was shocked! LOL. I then called my mother and she was shocked! LOL. Lastly I called my best friend and she was shocked! LOL. I had more fun shocking people that morning...even the doctors and nurses. turn

I was released from the hospital in a week...on a Friday...rested Saturday and Sunday, and then had my Mom drive me to the mall to do Christmas shopping! I had 85 staples still in me plus multiple other stitches. It could do this because I believed I could. Mom was pooped when we got home because we were there for six hours and she was carrying the bags. We went again on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday and I had finally completed my Christmas shopping....and my Christmas cards. Friday I headed back to the hospital to get the staples removed. They were amazed what I had done and said it was my positive attitude that helped me do this.

Also, all the stress I caused myself over having this surgery was for naught. Living without a colon has improved my life greatly! Who would have thought.....

I'm telling you this to show you that you don't know what the future holds. Your surgery might go very well and you could have a faster recovery...especially if you have a positive attitude. Studies have shown this to be true. So do focus on the present and take one day at a time. Your flares will be less. And think positively! There is a wonderful link in Fibro 101 about how to maintain a positive attitude when you have chronic pain.

Also, your hubby was right about losing weight. I lost 85 pounds by counting carbs. This was before I started walking daily as a gentle form of exercise. If you would like more info about what I did just email me and I'll sent it to you. Losing the weight will put less stress on your muscles, tendons, and ligaments and you knee! This would really be good for you to do and you will feel a lot better.

You might see if your husband would come to this forum. He could at least read Fibro 101 and just might see himself there and also become more sympathetic where you are concerned. Or you can copy things in Fibro 101 and give them to him. Good things to copy would be A Thorough Explanation of Fibromyalgia and Doctors Respond to New York Times Article. These would be an eye-opener for him.

I hope some of this has helped you. We are very strong people. But it is totally amazing how our minds and thinking help us too. We can overcome many things by using our strong minds.

yeah

Sherrine
Posted 4/1/2015 7:09 PM (GMT 0)
Wow Sherrine you are such an inspiration !!! I absolutely believe a positive attitude can change how you feel. I guess I've been in a rut. I do worry financially, but like you said worrying about the future isn't going to change it.

Taking one day at a time would help. Thinking positive that I can get through each day w minimal pain and having it be true would be wonderful.

I called around and found a place I can go swimming before my surgery so I will start that as a form of exercise. I do love the water!

I guess I'm pessimistic about the surgery because nothing has worked yet. The Dr was the one that said this one would be the most painful...but like you maybe I can prove them all wrong!
Last time I was up and about walking with out crutches in no time.
We are stronger than we think we are.

I am so glad you are feeling so much better!

Thanks for the pep talk!! Something I needed 😄
Posted 4/1/2015 9:55 PM (GMT 0)
I'm glad I could help you. I try to put things more in prospective. Our preconceived ideas can really stress us out and cause more pain and most of the time those "projections" are wrong! I guarantee you, we all can handle one day. :-)

Sherrine
Posted 4/2/2015 3:28 AM (GMT 0)
Achey,

Sherrine gave you some great advice!! I just wanted to let you know that i understand exactly what you're going through with a husband who's not very supportive. I've gotten to the point where I know what to expect from him and if I need something I know he's not going to be supportive of I don't ask! I will come to the forum or ask someone who is supportive. Don't get me wrong he's a wonderful man. Never been sick much more than a cold his entire life and just doesn't get it. I've just learned if it's something I know he's not going to understand in order for me not to get my feelings hurt or be disappointed I just go to someone that I know will understand and be supportive.

Sorry to get carried away! I hope your day got better! If you ever need to talk I DO understand!! My email address is on my profile and I try to check the forum daily. 😊
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