Just need to share with someone.
Sometimes good can come from bad situations. I haven't had a real reason to say that for a while. But in this case, it is true.
A few months ago, I was put on a pain medication that seemed to actually help substantially. They changed me to a formula that would be more effective. It was. But then I noticed a kick up in thoughts of harming myself. It has been something I struggled with since childhood, so I've learned through therapy how to work through it. At first I attributed the increase to other external sources causing me to think differently. However, I felt I was realizing too late how severe this psychological side effect had become and identifying the source. I went to the pain management doctor who said to stay on the meds and see my psychiatrist the next day. She accused me of being untruthful and dumped me. I went to my primary care who treated me like a liability and dumped me. That one hurt because I've been with them for years. I stopped taking the medication and left a message for the pain management doctor. He approved of my decision.
I felt lost. Despite being left in a time of need and detoxing from the goods and bads of this medication, I chose to find new doctors. I have been urged to seek legal advice but honestly I'm just so tired and need help. I have a new primary whom seems helpful enough - time will provide evidence. My new rheumatologist gave me a solid diagnosis of fibromyalgia. It's no longer a place holder diagnosis. He's ordered more extensive testing than anyone else. Turns out I may also have lupus, but I need to do follow up testing.
The point is I am finally getting answers. It hurts. I lose hope often because the road to diagnosis and treatment is a mess. Sometimes the sun shows it's rays but it's hard to acknowledge it. I'll tell you one thing, though. Since the incident with that medication, my normal occurrences of thoughts of harming myself has decreased immensely. It has tested and helped the relationship with my husband heal some. Time will tell if the overcast will clear up anymore.
Post Edited By Moderator (Sherrine) : 8/8/2019 3:11:56 PM (GMT-6)