Pix and Lucy,
Pix, it is awesome that you are able to work, do martial arts and be a personal trainer on the side! That is inspirational you know. At first when I came back to work, it was really hard even thought I have a desk job, I interact with people on a regular basis. Even now, when I'm tired or don't feel 100%, I have to go home and lay down and rest. But I have learned to listen more to my body that before.
Patience hasn't always been one of my best areas (even before this illness 
) so I am always ready for next before it's time! I was even born 3 weeks early! hahaha
I remember when I was on high dosages of prednisone and waiting for the day my feet would not be swollen and one day - I just happened to look down as I was laying on the couch and they were so skinny they looked funny... they had been so swollen for so long that I forgot what they looked like! Ha! I feel like I have so much more to do in life I want to get married, have kids and all that good stuff so when all of this happened I really just got scared and started thinking crazy stuff like what if no one wants to be with someone who has a chronic disorder - what if I can't be a mom?!?! I know silly stuff right? But it goes through my head and it makes me so emotional. The doctor wants to get me off of the prednisone so I am happy about that... then I can finally lose the weight and it can help me feel like me again.
thank you both for your words of encouragement - i really do appreciate your kindness.
~LadyL