Amee, are you out there???

I was thinking of you during the time the forums were down and concerned about you and your hubby.    How are you all doing?  Did MIL pass away?  Please let us hear from you when you are able.

Hugs,

Connie

Thank you all! It has just been one hill after another.

My mother in law to date is still being sustained by life support. This is against what she wanted. She has an advanced directive that clearly states that she did not want to be sustained by life support. However my brother in law, the one that moved in with us in June is her Power of Attorney. He has strong armed everyone and everything his whole life and he is drawing this out. He's demanded multiple times that second and third opinions come from outside the hospital. That I can understanc how ever I cannot understand that he's not making her a DNR at this point, she has crashed twice now and he keeps telling them to bring her back.

Yesterday he and my husband got into an argument at the hospital over a phone call. The hospital called us at home to let us know that the doctor would like to sit down with the family to discuss the current status of my MIL. He (my BIL) told my husband that if he wanted to take control of everything that he'd sign everything over to him... and that this was our (my and my husbands) fault that she was here in the first place. Because of what happened in March of this year.


In March, I had to have a D&C, because of a failed pregnancy, and that day when we arrived home, we found my MIL in the bathroom unresponsive, and cold. We called 911, and I began CPR, she was in ICU for two weeks. If I had not had to have the surgery that day, we would have both been at work and wouldnt' have arrived home until after 6PM and she would have surely been dead. She was close to it when we arrived at noon.

We know that this was not our fault, we also know that this is probably his own guilt coming thruogh as he didnt' spend as much time with her as he would have liked, due to living his own life.

The bottom line is that we never placed the bottle in her hand, we told her so many times that she needed to get help, but she didn't want it. It took her getting very sick to realize she needed the help and she did go to alcohol prevention therapy, as it was made mandatory for her to go by the liver transplant team.

Long story short, I think that Monday will be the day that she is removed from the life support. I hope it ends soon so we can all greive and begin the healing process for ourself.

Thank you all for the thinking of me... it's very difficult for us, That is an enormous understatement.

But we do appreciate your support.
Amee

Amee -

know that we are all thinking of you. 

Amee, in a way this is the toughest part--waiting for it to be over.  It's surprising how long some people can live once taken off life support.  That is what caused the push to withhold tube feedings, etc.  Has everything been withdrawn from her except pain meds?

Hugs,

Connie

Amee, I know what you mean by the spirit no longer being there.  When my aunt died in Dec., she was already "gone" the day before.  She was nearly comatose.  I could tell that only her body was hanging on.  Even the day before that, she was unable to speak--just mumbled something I couldn't understand--and just looked so miserable that I cried when I left the room and prayed to God that she would not linger on and on.  She was a very special person--loved life and people and was always joking around, despite not being able to walk (result of an accident at 13.)  I knew she was miserable just laying there.

I pray your family's ordeal will soon be over, and so will MIL's.

Hugs,

Connie

Amee, I was thinking of you today and wondering if your MIL had passed yet.  I was going to post and then got a LD phone call that distracted me.  So thank you for posting and letting us know.  I'm so glad that she went peacefully and the funeral was uneventful. 

Remember that you are always welcome here.  You have a lot of experience to share with others who are going through what you have been through.  So don't be a stranger.

Big hugs,

Connie

Amee, your experience can be a great help to others.  So what you went through will not have been for nothing.  I am sure that right now you just want your life to get back to "normal," though.

Hugs,

Connie