What has she done......

My mum has not had a drink since the middle of August. Really she has not had a choice in the matter. She was virtually forced into it, but she walked in drunk.... They say her liver function test are improving slightly but what has she done to herself. She took another bad seizuire which left her in intensive care as the fit went on for over an hour. She bleeds a lot and is having that investigated but they cannot find anything. After christmas she was transferred to a unit especially for people with brain injuries. Through this time she has been walking short periods with the zimmer and the other times in a wheelchair. The unit she went to was supposed to be well recommended for its intensive rehab. But unfortunately she has not been well enough to benefit. she was transferred again to the neares hospital due to a build up of medication making her sedated. They discovered that she had another fracture in her pelvis and also they think she has a problem with her hip implant as she has a lot of pain in the area. unfortunately this is the worst ending ever for my mum. Although it is much better than lying drinking in the house falling and everything that comes with it. But I am afraind that her body is so ravaged with the alcohol that it will mean that she has no quality of life. she is in constant pain and remains in her bed most of the time. It also looks like she is going to spend her days being in a nursing home. as she is only 63 that could be for a very long time.

Me I only see her once or twice a week, I am in the middle of getting power of attorney settled. If she goes into care they will take everything all her savings, maybe even her house. I feel sorry for her although I know she has done this to herself, I will always make sure she is fine, but I will not spend all my free time running up and down to hospitals. I have had my fair share in that these last years. I realise now I have to watch out for myself and my own family. I am sorry if that sounds a little cruel ... but it is my coping mechanism now.

Yes it's hard to grasp the totatlity of what she has done...glad to hear that you are taking care of yourself...and also that you are taking care of legal matters.... it's not easy... and never will be... and there always will be the what ifs... the sorrow over what could have been... and sometimes... as this post reflects... one steps back and says... my goodness what have you done....but then a person has to refocus and go on... you're doing the best you can... and you are active in her life... that's wonderful... she is fortunate to have you....my thoughts are with you today... you have come such a long way on this pathway... Sandi

Allie its a tough hard unforgiving road. Where the only grace we find is in the moments we seize and are given by grace.....and we grow up emotionally and mentally along the way...we come from some pretty naive places and learn to love and give with strength and kindness based in knowledge gained here...once in awhile a person steps back to reflect on the bloody trail behind and stand in amazement of wha we have endured and learned along the way.....we have come a long way baby......Sandi

Emma, what you were told is true.  That's one of the reasons it's so difficult to stay sober in the beginning.  The alcoholic without alcohol is feeling every little thing intensified 100 fold.

Allie, thanks for clarifying.  However, your mum has complained of pain ever since she had the hip replacement, which has led me to believe it was done incorrectly.

Hugs,

Connie

Connie yes she is waiting on a referral back to orthopeadics who did the hip replacement. Supposed to be on priority list but not heard anything yet. I really cannot complain, she has had countless scans, xrays, tests and several mri scans. I hear of people who are in pain for a long time until they end up getting considered for a mri scan. she has had pain on and off since the op, she has been walking with the aid of a zimmer, but now she is more in the wheelchair. Xrays and scans only showed massive muscle deterioration.
Emma, when my mum was drinking it certainly dulled the pain. truth is she is in a lot of pain a lot of the time. She has had so many complications. if it is not one part of her body bothering her its another. when she was drunk she would think she was perfectly fine and did not complain about the pain. Alcohol helped her get through the day although she lay there oblivious. I am pleased that your husband has stopped drinking, that is the first big important step.