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Posted 2/11/2011 1:34 PM (GMT 0)
 

Things have gotten worse. Hubby is so depressed he doesn't talk to us any more only yells. I am afraid to come home from work because I hear from the kids what it's been like for them since they got home. But I know I have to go home for them. I am looking for a place for us to go to, but i cannot afford rent as most places want a security deposit. We are 2 months behind on our mortgage and hubby won't talk finances. I was woken up yesterday at 5am with him telling me he has been looking online for ways to commit suicide. I suggested we go talk to a family counseler and he said no. He has a foul odor, my daughter noticed it too. He doesn't seem to care any more about anything. He goes to work for a few hours then comes home and sleeps. His underwear is stained orange in the front every day. Continues to smoke but not drink. When i ask him how he feels he won't tell me. i will be taking the kids out of this environment shortly, just need to find a family member that has room and can take us in. I can't support someone that doesn't want it.

Posted 2/11/2011 2:09 PM (GMT 0)
Mine keeps justifying things by saying.."I don't know what else I can do, I'm working and doing what the doctor says". He was never one accept responsibility for anything so why should I expect it now. he told my 16 year old son last night...."I might as well put a gun to my head, you two like your mother more anyway" ***........I'd pull the trigger if I knew I wouldn't go to jail..........I was looking at old pictures this morning....not many of us together or even him alone...but every one he has a drink or beer in his hand.....
Posted 2/11/2011 3:06 PM (GMT 0)
Have you explained (to your kids) that their father is sick and he doesn't know what he's saying or doing. Just so they know it isn't their fault.
Posted 2/11/2011 7:11 PM (GMT 0)
Wondering, I applaud you.  It is best to get yourself and your kids out of that toxic environment.  It's good that he's not drinking, but since he's not involved in a program such as AA that teaches one how to live sober, he's going to be a miserable and nasty person who has just put the plug in the jug.

If you can get a family member to take you guys in, that would be ideal.  If not, try Rick's suggestion of a safe house.  While you are not being physically abused, you are suffering from emotional and mental abuse...and who's to say he wouldn't shoot you and the kids, too?  You hear about that type of thing a lot.

Your primary focus at this point should be protecting your kids and yourself.

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 2/12/2011 3:08 AM (GMT 0)
Sometimes - all you can do - IS all you can do.  I think at this point - you do need to take care of your children and yourself - that's what you CAN do.  Blessings.  Pam
Posted 2/12/2011 4:46 AM (GMT 0)
Wondering there are funds for security deposits through homeless prevvention programs....people coming from situations like urs are a priority....the one in our area is run through the local comminity action program...also local shelters have help after 30 days residence there....these arre federal programs.... my email is in my profile...I could call and find out about your area.....your kids just have to be a priority...and yourself....my youngest daughter and I did this many years ago.....take one step at a time but please get the info...heck your local police will know the shelters...safe houses....sandi
Posted 2/12/2011 4:47 AM (GMT 0)
would be good/ to connect hubby with a suicide hotline
Posted 2/15/2011 4:30 AM (GMT 0)
If hubby is talking like that........ please get your children out, the long term issues for your children living in this environment are so difficult for them, please help yourself and those children. It will be very hard for you and them but in the long run you will heal and recover.........
Sue
Posted 2/15/2011 4:53 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Sue,
How are you feeling?
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