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Caregivers Sharing Thread-Renewed-#6

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Posted 10/21/2011 5:59 PM (GMT 0)
Natasha, you know I am behind you 100% and agree with your decision and viewpoint.  I could never stay with someone who is literally killing himself...and there are no children involved now...but there once was...my daughter as a baby and toddler.   First hubby was very mean and abusive to me when he was drunk, which was most of the time.  I knew it wasn't a good situation for either myself or my daughter, and finally left after 3 yrs. 

I know there are those who choose to stay, but's it's just not me...not if the person in question is an alcoholic and isn't sincerely trying to quit drinking.

Please let us know how it goes with the solicitor.

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 10/21/2011 6:41 PM (GMT 0)
Natasha,

This forum has addressed the go/stay question before.

It is an individual decision.

I totally respect that you are going to do what is best for the children. And in that there is still hope.  Hope that this HUGE decision you are making will be the final straw that brings their Dad to his senses.

Though you have painted a pretty grim picture of a man who isn't about to pull it together.

Best to your whole family.  This is very sad.

Carol

PS:  Mike knows I won't stay 5 minutes if he starts drinking again!

Posted 10/21/2011 7:35 PM (GMT 0)
sincere thanks to you both for your support, it means so much. there are many people who believe i am being cruel to do this to a man who is dying. unfortunatly, he chose this path, knowing full well the consequences of his continued drinking. his brief spell of being sober (?) was long enough for him to understand clearly enough what he was doing to himself and his family but still he chose to go back to his drink.
my actions now will have no other effect on him except he will be able to play the poor downtrodden victim that he loves so well.
i will not be a victim for anyone and neither will my children. i have got to this point through decisions i have made and now i am making another to get me and my children out of it. i am not responsible for my husbands decisions. took me a very long process to get all this but i do get it now and im done!.
will keep you up to date with information that i get from the solicitor. thanks again guys. it so helps to rant!!.
connie, im keeping my eye out for the post that states you got your call and praying for you all the way!!
carol, i hope mike continues to recover well, no more setbacks and a long healthy alcohol free future for you both!
thoughts and prayers to you all.
xxnatasha.xx
Posted 10/21/2011 7:47 PM (GMT 0)
Natasha...Hope the solicitor can give you some options to get him out of your home and get him taken care of somewhere else.  Sounds like you have made a decision and are just trying to figure out how to implement it.  It is so hard to be a caregiver to someone with this disease and to watch them make it worse by drinking would be beyond my ability to handle.  I think you are doing the right thing for you and your children and if your hubby was in his right mind (not drinking and no HE), he would probably even agree. 

  We are struggling day to day.  Have a few good days and then bad days when I want to pull all my hair out..(today) smhair    Hubby has three electric razors and has taken them all apart into pieces, so none of them work and can't get them back together.  I spent 2 hours today trying to figure  out how to make at least one work..(I've never used them) and finally gave up.   Hopefully one of my family members knows how to do it and will help this weekend. (I know this is a little thing....but those are the ones that seem to push me into sobbing fits.)  Let us know what you find out.

Angie1953

  "It is better to light one little candle, than curse the darkness." 

Posted 10/21/2011 8:20 PM (GMT 0)
Connie,  I keep checking to see if you have heard anything yet about a new liver.   Did I read right that you are now relisted?  If so, can't wait to see a post that you have gotten THE CALL.

Elle, How's Al doing?  Did you get some rest and relaxation?  Thinking of you.

Angie1953

Posted 10/22/2011 2:38 AM (GMT 0)
Natasha, pay no mind to anyone who tries to judge you. They are not walking a mile in your shoes. They haven't a clue as to what is going on behind closed doors...Even if you told them..they'd have to experience it for themselves to really understand. When there are kids involved........it's them first and foremost.

You do what you need to do........just worry about your kids and yourself.....to heck with what anyone else thinks.

Thoughts and prayers........
Posted 10/22/2011 2:55 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Natasha, I am glad that you are getting a plan into motion and are at peace with it. We all do what we have to do to take care of our family. No need to make apologies. We all have to follow our own paths. Keeping you in my prayers.

Angie-I agree it is the little things that push one over the edge. I hope someone can help you with that razor.

Moving this to #7 since we are at 4 pages.

Connie, please lock this one.

Emma
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