Caregivers Sharing Thread #8

Angie, here in north FL we are enjoying temps in the 70s.

Be sure to let your hubby know that having the evaluation doesn't commit him to transplant. Even if he is listed, he can change his mind. That is the thing that got me to go forward--knowing that I could change my mind along the way if it became too much.

Hugs,

Connie

  70 degrees....Must be nice.

here....Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Angie1953

Gypsy1313
I know the feeling when you say "never thought in a million years life would end up this nuts." 40 years of marriage to a really good husband,... you are lucky. I keep saying to myself, "we had 15 really good years and so we may have some now that are hard,".... but it is still a heart breaker.

But just to vent I do need to come here... Yesterday stopped at the Nursing Home where hubby is and helped set up the documentary film he was in, One Lucky Elephant, so folks at the nursing home could watch it, had ice cream and I brought items about elephants where they could ask questions.

My hubby was excited, but was hallusinating, and had tremors real bad. After the movie he went to his room crying (says he feels bad for the folks in the NH and all the problems they have, but I think it was hard for him to watch himself in the movie when he was so healthy.) Anyway, he asked for me to stay the night, so told him I'd go home, do chores, and come back and stay. Came back at 10:30 PM with my bags packed to stay, he was asleep and forgot all about it. But...I was there, so unpacked for the night, stayed with him, and the next morning he won't get up to eat breakfast, or dinner and complains about how hard it was on everybody ?? that I stayed all night. Grrrrrr ! Spent several hours trying to get him to eat, dragging the food to his room, trying to get him to set up, etc, but he just kept saying he was too tired.

Finally I have to leave about 12:30 just after noon, it's 17 degrees out and my car won't start. So hours later after replacing a new battery, getting home, feeding horses in the dark, I get a call from hubby saying he is lonely and can I come to the NH, and that he has "lost everything". I just can't bring myself to go back, I'm tired, cold, spent $175 I didn't plan on, and need some sleep, so told him I'll come tomorrow and he is sad. I feel guilty, but...then I read Gypsy's post and am grateful I don't have to give shots, no bleeding hubby, no eye lost to cancer, no hospital stays.

So gypsy..I know it sounds strange, but thanks for the post. I really helps me put my troubles in perspective. And I'm so sorry you are going through all this.
Angie1953

Connie,
Thanks. They can't give him more lactulose without calling Dr. and him telling them to every time, so they don't.  Starting a week ago, they are supposed to be giving him two milk shakes to help him BM, but found out yesterday they weren't. RN said, "OH, I guess I have to ask the kitchen for it each time, I thought they were just giving it to him." darn..they are so incompetent there, it just amazes me they keep any of these older folks alive.

And yes, Connie you are right I can't keep doiing this. I might as well have him home. It is such a catch 22.

Have to go pay electric bill and propane to I can continue to live with heat and light. Out here in the boonies, but can't just pay with credit card or debit over the phone. Help, I feel like I'm living in the 19th century!!

Invited to a Valentine's Dinner Feb 12th by my fellow Kiwani members and sounded great. Then I see list and it's 12 couples and me. Ouch! I am tempted to go anyway, as much of my life I was single and wasn't a big deal, but feels a little strange after being a couple for 15 years. Anyone else experience this feeling and how best to handle this event? Go anyway, cancel? Most of people I know through clubs or work. Part of me just wants to hiberate at home and the other part says "get out and socialize and Just Do It." Any insights?
Angie1953