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Posted 4/19/2012 4:41 PM (GMT 0)
It would be best to take care of things like living will ... power of attorney etc... while the person is considered mentally competent... if he/she goes into a decline and is in a confused state any legal papers signed during that period can be successfully challenged in court... getting it done earlier than later is best... I know it saved me quite a bit of headache that Mike and I had this paperwork signed... I ran across his medical directive this weekend... I keep it still in case his family ever came back at me... Sandia
Posted 4/19/2012 5:44 PM (GMT 0)
This is gonna be tough with him not wanting to share information.

We did the same, got all the affairs in order. I had Mike on my stuff as executor and medical power of attorney. Since he was a loon at the time, that was a really bad idea. We moved my oldest daughter into that slot for me and put me and his daughter on his stuff. He went along with it okay. And he and I were in total agreement about our DNRs.

Since we are not officially married, we also did papers regarding the "control of his remains," worried that his extended family might have some different ideas.

Poor Mike was on his last legs those days. We saw our attorney lately and she couldn't believe how good he looked. We were one lucky family of many who are not.

Hoping for a good outcome and hoping you get prepared for however it is supposed to work out.

Carol
Posted 4/21/2012 1:33 PM (GMT 0)
Good Morning

Oscar passed away yesterday at 11am. They did a CT scan on Friday of his head and he had massive bleeding. They took him off the respirator at 9pm and his sister and I were with him all night and he passed comfortably Saturday morning. He did open his eyes at some times during the night. All of my family and his were there. He put up a good fight and he was a wonderful man. I know he is not suffering anymore and will always be taking care of me. I now need to be strong for my 5 children and grandchildren. The hardest part was telling the kids.
Posted 4/21/2012 3:32 PM (GMT 0)
Moniesol,

Sad news indeed.

Our condolences to you and your large family.

Mike and Carol
Posted 4/21/2012 5:50 PM (GMT 0)
Moniesol,

  So sorry to read about Oscar.  Thinking of you and your family today.

Angie1953

Posted 4/21/2012 6:01 PM (GMT 0)
Oh, Moniesol, so sorry to hear that Oscar has passed. It's good to know that he is now at peace, though. You were fortunate to have a large family, so you can all support each other at this difficult time.

Please feel free to post whenever you like. Your experience could benefit others.

Hugs,
Connie
Posted 4/22/2012 5:09 AM (GMT 0)
My condolences to you and your family... there are no words at a time like this...my prayers will be with you during this time... Sandia
Posted 4/22/2012 5:51 AM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry for your loss. I just don't know what else to say.
Posted 5/1/2012 2:58 PM (GMT 0)
Good Morning

Sorry I had not post since Oscar's death. It has just been chaotic. On top of it my uncle, moms brother, passed away this weekend. So now I am also worried for my mom and grandma. It's been rough dealing with the everything. I thank God for my oldest daughter that honestly handled all the funeral arrangements, she is a blessing. Of course now comes the financial issues I have to deal with. I'm back to work but feeling really down. My oldest grandaughter has been staying with me although I still have two grown children at home, it is very lonely. They cleaned the yard this weekend and I noticed they moved alot of things and put them in the shed but in my mind I was thinking, hey but wait Oscar had that there! Of course I we were not prepared on Oscar passing away, my kids miss him terribly. We always felt protected by him just being there, its terrible

 

Posted 5/1/2012 3:54 PM (GMT 0)
Monisol,

This is such a sad time. My sister lost her spouse 2 years ago and I've watched her try to move forward with mixed results.

She never thought she'd have to balance the checkbook, file the taxes, organize the retirement stuff, figure out the health insurance nightmare, fix the timer on the pool filter, replace the airconditoner filters, or eat dinner alone.

She does not enjoy being alone.

She had no children, so her life revolves around the cat and my family.

She tried a support group, thinkling that would help and then felt so depressed after hearing the other sad stories, she stopped going. Her own misery has become her focus.

We try to plan fun things, and she comes along, but I can see she doesn't really have a good time. Though she needed to lose wt, she is losing so fast, we thing she isn't eating much at all and that worries us.

So, when you say "We always felt protected by him just being there, it's terrible" I can see that says it all. Losing your partner, best friend, life mate is AWFUL.

And it takes time to imagine the new YOU. I hope that the fog lifts soon so you can store your memories forever while moving forward. Your family is large and their lives are full. If you feel that you cannot find a new life, it is time to find a therapist to help.

That's what my sister has done, and things are getting better for her. At last.

My thoughts are with you,

Carol
Posted 5/1/2012 8:26 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks so much Carol it is honestly the hardest thing I have had to deal with. I had high hopes he could make it. I know he gave it his all and we were both scared but never gave up hope. I do not want to say that I dont  know how I will live without him, because I know I eventually will come to terms with it, but right now it is just so hard. He was my soul mate he taught me so much I will miss him dearly. My family is trying very hard not to leave me alone, but sometimes I just want to be alone.
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