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My Dad's New Cirrhosis Symptoms

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Posted 11/28/2012 6:48 AM (GMT 0)
I posted an update two weeks ago about my dad who has end stage cirrhosis. I live in L.A. and my parents live up north, so we went to their house for Thanksgiving. My dad has lost even more weight, or I guess it's muscle. He was okay most of the weekend and then on Sunday, he came in from working in his shed (don't know where he gets the strength) and he could hardly stand up. He said he was nauseous and my mom told him to try and eat something but he refused mad; he only eats once a day and can hardly get any food down. He sat down and was completely restless, saying that he just wanted to punch someone, then he started talking about how he was worried about his sister, my mom and me (don't really know what that was about). He calmed down some and said he was going to try to take a nap but said he kept tossing and turning.
I have looked EVERYWHERE for detailed information about this stuff and everyone's case seems so different. He knows his liver is failing and has no interest in a transplant, but it's so hard to watch this decline in my dad. He is so stubborn and I don't know if his doctor gave him a death sentence or what?! What I basically want to know is what is the life expectancy and how much worse will it get? HELP!

Post Edited (Ava1981) : 11/28/2012 8:32:53 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 11/28/2012 1:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Ava , Your dad really needs to be taking Lactulose and possibly Xifaxan to get the ammonia levels and toxins out of his system . If this toxic mix continues to build up his aggression and disorientation will only get worse and could lead to a coma .

I suspect he's going through alot of emotional changes and that's o.k , The quicker he see's the reality that this isn't going to just go away the more likely he will want to get treated . Of course you know he must be completely sober for any chance of recovery . If he doesn't want to get help for his symptoms and isn't intent on fighting this disease then you simply have no choice but to watch his descent into death . I'm sure thats not what you wanted to hear but it is the truth . As far as the age old " How long can this last ? " Nobody knows for sure . Some folks go quickly and others linger on for months long after the body gives up the fight , It's a painful conclusion either way typically for all parties involved .

I wish for as I have others here that you could make him realize that things don't have to be this way , But this is not your choice , It's his 100% . All you can do is prepare yourself and the family ahead of time for whats likely to come . Funeral arrangements , Will , Living Will and possibly a health care facility in the event he doesn't go quickly and you can't take care of him .


A. Ziffle
Posted 11/28/2012 3:32 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for being honest and not sugarcoating anything. This is the worst disease, it tears you apart when they're doing it to themselves and it tears you apart after when you have to watch what they've done. I really pray we will not need to go into a healthcare facility; I just don't think I could deal with that, but he isn't doing anything for himself, so who knows? My husband is supposed to call him today and talk to him, maybe he will listen to another man, but I doubt it. When he started to get sick last year, I told my mom I didn't think he would make it to Christmas, but here we are...another Christmas.
I also forgot to mention that he is vomiting as one of his newer symptoms.
Posted 11/28/2012 3:47 PM (GMT 0)
Ava, what a difficult time your family is having.

The really hard part is that trying to make sense to a person who has end stage liver disease can be rough as they are often not in their right mind.

I looked over your older posts and realize your Dad is actively drinking and not interested in cleaning up his life.

Ziffle is giving it to you straight. If he stops drinking there may be home...Ziff has won YEARS back on his life. Others have as well.

There are great programs, free programs, AA for example.

Our doc told Mike that if he had simply stopped drinkign 10 year ago he'd not have needed a transplant. He has been sober 2 years+ now and is doing well....but he REALLY wanted to get well. Gave up drinking alcohol cold turkey when he got really really sick, went to AA 4-6 times a week, got on a transplant list and MADE it.

I'm sorry your family is going through this rough time with him. So sad.

Hugs,

Carol
Posted 11/28/2012 4:15 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks, yeah it really is a bad situation and you're completely powerless. He is drinking, but nothing hard, so I guess he thinks that is okay; of course it's not. He also takes pain medication for his back and don't you have to be off of all meds before you can even get on the list for a transplant? I was talking to my mom yesterday and told her that his doc must have given him a transplant option, but he doesn't tell us. I think he hides a lot of what his doc said to him, but it's pretty obvious to anyone who sees him what is happening. He says he's not afraid to die, but he's only 66 and I'm pretty sure that he'll never see my children. There is also a certain amount of guilt that me any my mom feel; he used to be a very volatile alcoholic and most of my life I wished he would just leave or die. Now, he's become a different person and we actually have a good relationship. It's just so sad that he wasted all those years on booze and now when it's close to the end, I feel like I'm finally getting to know him. I'm glad to hear that there is hope if he wants it, but he is ornery and I think he's already made up his mind, but like I said, my husband is going to talk to him today and try to convince him that he shouldn't just give up; for once he shouldn't be so selfish.
Posted 11/28/2012 5:52 PM (GMT 0)
Ava , You have to get inside the head of a alcoholic to understand why they do what they do . Often it actually takes another alcoholic to be able to do that , Hence groups like AA seem to do so well with recovering alcoholics . Anyhow the idea may be swimming around in that pool of alcohol in his head that " If I am to get better , I'll have to quit drinking " , This is like trying to convince a sober person to cut off their right arm . Drinking is a part of who he is and life without it is unimaginable . If his doctor was honest he most likely admonished him about his alcoholism either on his last visit or visits prior , so you can safely assume he knows he has no chance of a fight until he quits totally .

Medications ( Prescription ) will be a necessity through out his bout with liver disease and he would likely be given something for the time he is detoxing from the alcohol . While any medications are bound to have some affect on the damaged liver they still will be needed . Taking non prescription drugs without the approval of a doctor will likely do alot more damage , He can't self medicate . Balancing the correct mixture of drugs is critical and even the best doctors have to do a trial and error testing to get each patients mixture right .

Glad to see your working on the relationship aspect but you and your mom aren't to feel responsible for his behavior past or present . He dug this hole and he will have to find his way out or lay down and die in it .


A. Ziffle
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