He gave up !

Hi all,
I have talked in my past few posts about how Mark has been changing for the worse,miserable,cant stand to be even around him most of the time,it has been that bad ! Anyways,I had to go to New York on an emergency on Saturday,my mom is in the hospital,with her heart,not a good situation.Mark was acting weird when I left, couldn't put my finger on it,but I knew something was going to happen ! I talked to him at 4:45 pm to let him know I got there ok,he sounded miserable,but no different then he had been. At 5:30 i got a call from my neighbor telling me that an ambulance was at the house and that Mark had taken an overdose ! All of his blood pressure meds and he took several of my anxiety meds ! I asked why,the answers i got were,"no one understands me,knows how sick I am,I am tired of hurting all the time " When they did blood work on him,his counts were real bad,i talked to his Dr and asked if it was from the overdose,he said no,that the drugs would take longer to get through his system to show a difference from an overdose. Ex,,maybe you can help me understand more of what these counts mean ! He never had a test for Salicylates before,I tried to look it up and all i got out of it was it has something to do with green veggies ? Anyways that was low,his RBC was very low,yet no transfusion, platelets were down to 66 and had a new thing with it that said he has large platelets present ,his PT INR was high,Albumin was very low,and his protein was very low ! Most results were bad but these were the biggest changes and some have been borderline,but now have made a big change ! I have not seen Mark,nor will I,for one I cant and 2 I dont want to right now,he is in a mental hospital now,no clue how long he will be there,I have talked to him on the phone,and of course hes sorry now,but I am very very angry at him ! I have no clue where things will go from here,I am probably correct in saying that any chance of being put through another eval at this time has been thrown out the window !

 Sorry NEH , I believe personally he is better off at this point in a mental institution . They can keep watch over him . At this point he is ineligible for a transplant , His medical records will reflect what he has done and the likely hood of his Hepatologist considering surgery is slim and none .

One of the more difficult aspects to understand for most people is how important your mental status plays a role in transplantation . Alcoholics like myself have to prove ourselves worthy of transplantation by adhering to rigid rules like 6 months of psycho therapy or AA to show a vested interest in changing our mental state . No doctor will give someone a liver knowing it will be abused again , Particularly when others who aren't alcoholics are waiting in line . I had to face the odds of dying before my 6 months of therapy concluded it isn't easy overcoming the pain of the disease and withdrawing from alcohol simultaneously , They know that ( The doctors ) and it is the price you pay for the chance to survive . In my opinion a minimum price at that .

Should he get his act together and survive the process ahead he also can be given that chance , That's entirely up to him . I was around 3 months into my sobriety evaluation process ( Therapy and bi-weekly urine test ) when I decided not to reschedule a therapy meeting due to being in the adjacent hospital having 8 liters of fluid removed from my abdomen , I thought surely this would be a legit excuse for missing the meeting . Not !!!! Hepatologist saw the therapy report and made me start all over again . Three months of verified sobriety , Three months of being closer to the much needed transplant and all was lost only to start over again . I survived 9 months of agony instead of the mandatory 6 months . This from a man given 3 months to live initially after diagnosis . It can be done but he has to want it bad enough and that is his demons he must fight . Yes , Love him and Care for him if you feel this is salvageable but please don't let this become a " you " issue . It's all him .

A. Ziffle

Deb,
Mark didnt have a choice where he went,it was made for him,they are giving him all of his medications while he is there.I have talked to his liver Dr so he knows what is going on at this point.Mark has an appt on Wed with this Dr and The place where he is told him that if he is still where he is that they would transport him to his appt ! Mark had been in therapy for more then a yr and stopped going,that was mistake number one,Then he was taken off his antidepressants,mistake 2,Hopefully with new meds and therapy we can get him back on the road again !
Ziff,what do you mean by this part of what you wrote ? " Yes , Love him and Care for him if you feel this is salvageable but please don't let this become a " you " issue . It's all him ."
It may be salvageable,but at the same time there has to be trust again,can he give me that, is the question !

No I wont wallop you,I just wanted you to clarify what you meant ! I am not giving up yet again,but he has to do his part ! I cant keep trying to help someone who wont help them self ! You give great advice i think ! and Thank you again for your advice !

NEH,
From what I'm hearing, you sound depressed and angry. Why shouldn't he feel the same way, only more so?

NEH, I would demand that they take him to a hospital if they are not properly treating his sugar levels...and I would do it tonight. Are you able to visit him? If not, I would demand that too, but I just realized you may still be out of town??

I know you have been thru hell and I sure hope your mom is doing better :)

Hang in there, and let us know how things develop.

Mae

Try going to the director of nursing over the facility , This may at least snatch a knot in someone's rear end down the line . It's best as you might imagine not to infuriate the staff but it's sometimes needed .

Everything always happens at once doesn't it ? You sure are going through a bad time with all this and my heart goes out to you and your family . When things get so far outta whack as it has been in your husbands case it may take alot of uphill fighting to set things right , I hope you can handle the burden your toting . Maybe just maybe this will be the call to get him to his senses and back on the proper path . I wouldn't wish this on anybody but sometimes it takes being pushed to a inch of your life to realize what he has in you and in life .


A. Ziffle

NEH, I corrected your spelling of the antidepressant.

It's a good idea to call his hepatologist. Maybe he can speak with the head nurse or Director of Nursing and let them know the situation and the best way to treat it.

I can tell you from personal experience that edema causes pain, especially in the feet. One thing you can do to reduce the pain for awhile is to put lotion on his feet and then, just above his toes, press down with your thumbs and move upwards while pressing down. You can actually see the fluid moving upward. Do this gradually, using more lotion, all the way up the calf to the knee cap. It's a temporary fix and hurts a bit, but does give relief for awhile.

Hugs,
Connie

Go get 'em tiger! lol

Hugs, Mae

Hi NEH, try to come up with a nickname, it just help folks connect to you better than NEH, just a thought.

Im so glad you're being firm with the staff, i would be nice, but firm. Don't take no for an answer about the doctor coming in. I would say this...."If you don't get a doc in to see him, or take him to a real hospital, then I will have my attorney phone you post haste!"

But that's just me...I am like a bear when it comes to folks not doing right by my loved ones.

Hang in, you're not alone here :)
Mae