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Posted 6/11/2013 10:20 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you both. I will have my other brother keep the paperwork, because he is the one that is usually with them when they are at the hospital.

Perfect example of why I can't believe anything my mother tells me and answers why they didn't do anything about the blood in his abdomen:

I called my mom to see if they have been doing anything about the bleeding. She asked me what bleeding. I told her she told me that the dr saw blood in his abdomen when he did the cat scan. She then informed me that the dr didn't say that, she did, because she thought that's what she saw. I know she told me the dr said it. He's apparently up walking around, talking (although still a little confused), and actually doing quite well. I've talked to a friend that said there's a hospital in Houston that is really good about working with people who don't have money and will do transplants for them. The dr. thinks he will be a good candidate for a transplant. They also have a shorter sobriety requirement. Also, I found out there are hospice people that will work for people who have no money. He's not under good care at home with it just being my mom there, so hospice would be wonderful. Sorry about all the confusion, I was going by what my mother told me (who is not k8t's mother, btw). Thank you all so much for the info! I will still get those questions answered.
Posted 6/11/2013 10:37 PM (GMT 0)
Don't forget to make the proxies legal!
Posted 6/11/2013 11:04 PM (GMT 0)
 Will one of you kind ladies please tell me what is going on ? How is K8T related to Misfit ? Are they ? I know she said it's her mom not K8T's but is there a connection ? I'm a lil slow here . Is this one of those things that can only be explained by the mind of a woman . GOD I'M SO CONFUSED !!!

 Ziff 

Posted 6/11/2013 11:12 PM (GMT 0)
I'm late to the discussion, but...are you both speaking of the same brother? It is impossible to know from the information you have exactly what his condition is; if he is able to be treated or not. He would not be eligible for a transplant evaluation until he has 6 mos. of documented sobriety (usually in AA, with each meeting verified by a chair person.) But without treatment, and maybe even with it, he will never make it to that point. I would personally move him to a different hospital, but I don't like to give up. Every one of us who has made it to this point has fought to get here.

I've been without insurance and went to a local teaching hospital that accepts uninsured patients. This could be an option for your brother. However, I ended up going to Mayo just when my Medicare card arrived. But you really need to know the nitty gritty of his disease and exactly what is going on.

A MELD score serves the purpose of letting UNOS (United Network of Organ Sharing) know who is next in line for a liver transplant. The higher the score, the sicker a person is...and those with high scores will get transplanted soonest. It is divided into districts and then states. It has nothing to do with how long a person will live. When one has liver cancer, the MELD goes higher with exception points--usually to a 22. Then, after every 3 mos. on the wiating list, that patient gets 3 more points. Therefore, I was MELD 25 when transplanted.

Hugs,
Connie
Posted 6/12/2013 12:07 AM (GMT 0)
Ok. There are two half sisters, misfit and k8t74, and they have two brothers (at least) one being the sick one, the other being involved in his care. The mom of the sick brother is a bit confused from prescription drugs and possible closet drinking.

I think.
Posted 6/12/2013 12:40 AM (GMT 0)
Mae, I won't forget. And Ziffle, yes, Mae is right. K8t and I have the same father and these brothers are her half brothers. My mom is the two brothers' mom and yes she is on prescription drugs, but has only had a handful of alcoholic drinks in the last 7 months or so.

Connie, yes, we are speaking of the same brother. His condition is not as bad as I first thought. My mom was confused apparently and told me there was blood in his abdomen when there was not. The hospital he is in now has a 1 yr sobriety requirement. The dr. is saying there are other hospitals in bigger cities that may do it sooner than 6 mths to a year. Thank you for clarifying the MELD score. That makes more sense, just not sure what the nurse meant when she said his score was "up to 3 months".
Posted 6/12/2013 1:07 AM (GMT 0)
 Uhhhh ,  O.K . ( Not really , but that's what I normally say when the wife throws something at me like that .) smilewinkgrin   

 Anyhow it's good to know he has some good people at his side supporting him . Do the best you can and I hope you will keep us informed through this process .

 Ziff

Posted 6/12/2013 1:36 AM (GMT 0)
I'm not as dumb as I look after all, Ziff :)
Posted 6/12/2013 6:12 AM (GMT 0)
Misfit, thanks for the explanation? And why are you a misfit? My mother was a life-long alcoholic--she went to AA a few times and would find drinking buddies. She lost her career and a marriage, but lived to be 81. My dad was a closet alcoholic (which I only learned after his death by suicide.) And I am a 26+ years sober alcoholic. I also did IV drugs for 18 mos., back in the 60s, which is how I contracted hep C. Have been clean from hard drugs ever since and from all non-Rx drugs for 25+ yrs. I have never heard of any transplant center requiring a year of sobriety.

I've been clean and sober so long that when I had my transplant 18 mos. ago, that was a non-issue. I hope your and K8t's brother does well.

Hugs,
Connie
Posted 6/12/2013 1:39 PM (GMT 0)
The story goes, I found them , misfit and our two brothers two Years ago. My mother is my bio mother and her husband adopted me. Well, two years ago she found our grandfather's obituary and I learned I had siblings. I went on Facebook and sent my brother a message and it turns out they had been looking for me for some time. Roughly 36 years to be exact. So I first met them 2 years ago this week and we all clicked immediately. The only thing is our dad passed before I got to meet him. It's quite the love story.
Posted 6/12/2013 3:21 PM (GMT 0)
Now this is the kind of story folks write books about...sell them for lots of money to Lifetime TV to make the movie and adorable actors and actresses play the various characters.  Who will we have play you and the sick brother?  I'm glad you got to meet your family, most of them before it was too late.  Best, Carol.
Posted 6/12/2013 4:17 PM (GMT 0)
I've actually been writing a book about it.
Posted 6/12/2013 4:52 PM (GMT 0)
Good!
Posted 6/12/2013 5:13 PM (GMT 0)
I'm a misfit because I'm the only one in my family besides k8t that doesn't drink or do any kind of drugs. I live in a nice house, have had nice cars, have 3 well behaved children, an Associate's degree in Criminal Justice. Basically, I'm the black sheep in the family because I don't fit in with the rest. I had never heard of one needing 1 year either. That's why I'm hoping my mother will take him somewhere else. Connie, great job on the being sober for so long! And yes, it is a story that most people will never even experience. It was life changing :) We had been looking for her for so long, and I will never forget the first time she called me or came to see us. I used to be so jealous of the people on Maury, etc, that found their siblings, and I finally got to experience it :)
Posted 6/12/2013 5:21 PM (GMT 0)
I would add to the above that understanding what his coagulation is doing is of utmost importance. I know of a female patient who had an INR of 3 and who was having various different bleeds (including GI) despite having no oesophageal or gastric varices. She was bleeding wherever she could (in this case it was gastropathy) due to her acute on chronic coagulopathy. He's probably already having them, but Vitamin K, plasma, platelets and fibrinogen will surely be important in managing his bleeding, which seems to be the immediate problem.
Posted 6/12/2013 5:25 PM (GMT 0)
ooops - I missed about a page full of posts! Ignore the above re. the bleeding and accept my apologies - not HE, I assure you, but rather a trigger-happy demeanour!
Posted 6/12/2013 6:21 PM (GMT 0)
Misfit, I never met my dad, either. I didn't even have contact with him until I was 21. And he died in my late 20s. It was the main thing that took me over the edge to hard drugs. I wanted to kill the pain. He had remarried and I had 3 half-sisters by that marriage. I met 2 of them when I went out to OK in '71. I am in touch with both of them. We had that "instant click" you mentioned, and we looked so much alike! One I e-mail with at least once a week. She's the sanest one of the bunch.

The main thing that scared me into sobriety was seeing myself turn into my mother. And drinking was no longer fun...it was causing problems.

I have at least 4 books in me. The problem is getting motivated to start writing.

I hope your brother is still able to be saved from death by ESLD.

Hugs,
Connie
Posted 6/13/2013 3:07 AM (GMT 0)
Well I guess I should add my short story. I was raised with one sister, no brothers. Good parents that worked hard to give us the better life of two incomes. Mom and Dad married while Dad was at University. Mom was 17, Dad had been a home town boy, returned from WWII.

I was floored to learn I had a sister 3 years older than me born 3 months after my folks married. I was 47 and an empty nester. Great lady, fine family she has. We all had more effort getting to know each other and still have some communication.

My sister and my half sister seem to have more in common, but we all like one another. No drama. Dad died about 10 years after getting time with her and her family, and I am so glad the did not keep the secret for all of our sake. It was an Oprah moment, for certain!
Posted 6/14/2013 2:23 AM (GMT 0)
Connie, it's actually K8t that didn't get to meet our dad. But I have to say, it's the same for us too. We look so much alike and have had similar life events at around the same time. It's crazy!!

Themiz, your story sounds pretty similar to ours. I've know about her for as long as I can remember, and tried to find her, to no avail. Imagine my surprise being 7 months pregnant and getting the phone call saying "I think you've been looking for me." It was wonderful!

Well, brother has been sleeping all day today and only ate cereal w/ milk. They said they were probably going to release him tomorrow, but mom was worried about the sleeping. Apparently his ammonia levels are very high and I don't know if she was told he was refusing the Lactulose, or if that's just what she thinks, but his ammonia levels are not good. My mother has been constantly losing weight since around January, and isn't able to eat much. She kept telling me that she didn't know what was wrong with her. My other brother informed me tonight that she's had cirrhosis for close to a year, which is why she quit drinking. I am seriously at a loss right now. I don't know what to think. I don't know why she wouldn't tell me. It also makes me wonder what she's not telling me about my brother's condition. I'm just so glad my older brother is going out there tomorrow. Maybe he can get the correct info.
Posted 6/14/2013 2:51 AM (GMT 0)
Alcoholics don't like to admit that their drinking has caused physical problems. You said she is "fuzzy headed," so you probably are not getting the correct info about your brother. I hope you will get more clarity when your other brother goes to see him.

Thanks for the clarification regarding K8t...though I will probably still get you two mixed up. rolleyes

Hugs,
Connie
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