It feels like I'm carrying the weight of the world.

Well my beautiful mom has been in the hospital for 24 days now. A hospital then a rehab center in hopes to get her able to do her own ADL's. She did good I'm very proud of her! But while she was there her doctor said " this is it Lisa, your body is shutting down". She didn't tell me right away but little hints like let's take a picture together so you can remember my smile. I ate dinner with her every night in rehab it was amazing the bonding I so desperatly needed and wanted, then I hear that. I guess in my heart I knew it was coming, she's on and off confusion, edema in the legs so much she has trouble bending them, trouble urinating, yellowing skin and she has so many bruises that never go away. It still feels unreal to me, it's like I'm lying as I right this because this shouldn't happen to us. My moms 47 she to young. So much pain and suffering. I just feel very confused , scared , lost and worried about what's next. She has good days and bad days so I think that's why I get so confused.

I find relief in letting this out , you all are so kind and supportive :)

Post Edited By Moderator (hep93) : 8/11/2013 8:58:12 PM (GMT-6)

Are there two posters named Ang48? I just read an older post but the mom was 53, not 47. Now I'm confused

That fine if that is how you feel

No I'm just wondering how you could be off by 6 years LOL
I was sure I was talking to two different people when I saw that.

Ang, I wish that I had some great, comforting words of wisdom but I just don't. I can only say that you and your dear mom are in my thoughts. You're right, she is too young to have to deal with this terrible disease - and you are too young to have to face losing your mom. Of course no matter what our age, we are never really ready to lose our parents. When we are faced with something like this, it's like we're kids again - we just want them to stay. Spend every moment you can with her. Talk to her about happy memories, tell her everything you've wanted to tell her, say "I love you" a thousand times, and tell her that you will be ok, thank her for being your mom. This is everything I wanted to do before I lost my dad, but he was gone before I could.

I know you are scared and confused - totally normal and expected. Just take each minute/hour/day at a time and try not to dwell on 'what's next' - stay in the moment. And please post when you can - we care a lot.

Have a peaceful day.....

Oh my gosh I know exactly how your mom feels about losing her cognitive skills. I'm not nearly as ill as her but I would give anything to have my mind functioning well again. Just know this ...it's still all in there - it's being able to get it out that's the trouble. Mine's from ongoing encephalopathy. So sad you have to go through this.

Thanks Connie! HepC&cirrosis, it's comforting to know that everything is still there. The memories are still the same. It's just difficult. I'm confused with this. It's like even tho your brain says this is coming close to the end of a beautiful life your heart says is this real. She has good days. Then those bad days reassure what you already know. :,( lots of tears lately on my end.