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Emma and Dougie checking in

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Posted 6/7/2014 8:28 PM (GMT 0)
Hey everyone. Just thought I would check in with an update. I have been reading posts now and then, but haven't been on the forum much lately.

I am doing great. There has been much change on my job this last year, most especially in the last few months. I am working a lot of OT (no money for that though!) and it has been really good. Intense but good. In the last year I have lost 35 pounds, on a diet program that I have been actually doing. Plus lots of exercise. I physically feel better than I have in years. Best of all, my youngest son graduated from college last weekend!!! It has been a long haul with this kid, but he did it! And I did it too! The whole family...me, Dougie, sons & their girl friends were all together for 5 glorious days. I loved every minute of it and my heart is very full.

Dougie, love that man, but he is struggling with his sobriety. His recent labs a couple of weeks ago revealed his enzymes are elevated. Not good. Bilirubin, kidney, PT-INR, and other blood work are in normal or close to normal range.

I am frustrated and angry with him, and worried about his health. But, this is something he needs to deal with and the anger and frustration I am feeling is something that we will work through as a couple.

I have been much more active in my Al-Anon program, and this is helping me deal with this. I also believe that the program has helped me excel at work and to also fully enjoy my son's graduation.

I include all of you in my daily prayers. I am hoping to be on the forum more often, as job is settling a bit now and son is out of school!

Hugs,
Emma
Posted 6/7/2014 8:52 PM (GMT 0)
Emma, I was sat on the settee about 15 mins ago thinking of you and Dougie and wondering how he was doing and whether or not he was still off the pop. I came to the PC just to check email and thought I would check over the forum and lo and behold her is your post!!! Incredible coincidence.

I am really sad to hear he is not doing well on the booze front. I can hardly believe it.
Posted 6/7/2014 9:29 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Mr. E.
I agree, Dougie was given a wonderful gift of being to regain his health, and currently he is squandering it. It is his journey and I am along with him. He is of course, so much better than he was when he was first dx with cirrhosis due to alcohol, he does not drink like he used to. And I don't think he physically can drink that much. But he is drinking from time to time, and his liver cannot recover from it. I am angry, scared, and sad about it. We will work through it.
I hope you are doing well Mr E.
Emma
Posted 6/7/2014 9:40 PM (GMT 0)
It will be sad for him in himself aswell if he finds himself ill again I would think.

At least it isnt as much as it was, but even so I still cant believe it as he was doing so well and I compared his time of the booze to mine - I remember just the one slip up he had a while ago now.

I dont go near it - over 4 years now and just keep hoping I dodged a bullet - at least for a while, but not brilliant at the moment.

Well im hoping he keeps off it is all I can say really.

:/
Posted 6/8/2014 1:28 AM (GMT 0)
This scenario is all too common on this forum. I wish people had the will to live without booze. Emma, you've done everything possible. Be well.
Posted 6/8/2014 2:21 AM (GMT 0)
Emma!!! Sooo glad to hear from you. Been thinking about you guys from time to time. Good to know you been keeping yourself busy and still doing the alanon thing, But sorry you need to still. It's a shame Dougie can't get it right. But that's his choice. I'm tickled that you are firm in your position towards what he's doing to both of you. I don't like seeing this happen and even a little nip is like Russian roulette for him. Some folks gotta learn the hard way, Sorry it's yours.

Obviously he's been keeping up with his doctor appointments (Labs)? Is he still taking his medications. Wonder if they have picked up on him slipping? He's gonna mess himself right outta any chance of transplant if he hasn't already. What seems to be the issue surrounding relapse. "Friends"? Anyhow, I'm glad you'll be coming back around more. smilewinkgrin


Ziff
Posted 6/8/2014 2:54 AM (GMT 0)
Oh Emma.

I'm so glad you posted.

You recall that I've said many times that Mike has amnesia about how awful the year he was soon sick was. No memory and little remorse.

So I think Dougie may forget how sick he was. And forget how much this affected you and the kids.

It may take another crisis.

You know the bloods tell the tale. Look it up on google. With alcohol the ast/alt ratio is one way. Less or greater than 1. I have to look It Up every time.

But YOU sound great. Good for you

Hugs
MamaLama
Posted 6/8/2014 4:08 AM (GMT 0)
Tell him please to quit drinking or he will be where my dad is at right now and it's been hell. I pray for you both.
Posted 6/8/2014 3:14 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Emma,

Was so happy to see your post. I've been wondering how things were going with you and Dougie. Sounds like you are doing good. I've missed your posts. I've been doing great at saying "NO" to extended family.... One thing I loved most about Connie, she didn't have a problem telling you what she thought... but her words help me to stop being a people pleaser and put myself first. You were so supportive during that time. Didn't do the holiday cooking for the last year now, wonder why I waited so long!! So glad to see you back on here!!

Kathy and Dennis
DDMom
Posted 6/8/2014 3:56 PM (GMT 0)
Emma,

Here is that chart from wikipedia: [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AST/ALT_ratio[url/]

In healthy people ALT > AST; when AST > ALT, pathosis is likely.

Thus:

AST/ALT is normally < 1.0 and is also < 1.0 in viral hepatitis (albeit with extremely high levels of both AST and ALT).

When AST/ALT > 1.0 but < 2.0, it is likely to be associated with cirrhosis

When AST/ALT > 2.0, it is more likely to be associated with alcoholic hepatitis or hepatocellular carcinoma

However, the AST/ALT ratio is less useful in scenarios where the liver enzymes are not elevated, or where multiple conditions co-exist.
Posted 6/9/2014 6:08 PM (GMT 0)
Hey there Emma great to see you here!! Sounds like you have done great self care. Alanon is such a great group. you even brought out Mr. E who I haven't seen here for a while!! A hug and a smile for you!!
Posted 6/9/2014 11:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Emma, Congrats for your Son's graduation. So happy to hear your work and you are doing so well. Al-anon seems to be working it's magic to keep your focus where it is right now, and for that, I am grateful. Sadly, everyone will not choose sobriety. We can not fix that for them. You keep taking care of you. Big Hugs
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