Surviving the Losses...One Day @ a Time, Pt. 2

Alisa, I just wanted to tell you that you and your husband are in my thoughts - and on my prayer list. Could you give me his first name (or even just his initials), so that I can include him on a prayer chain at my fiance's church? If that's ok with you, of course. I'm so sorry about the 'time limit' they've given your husband - I'll lay odds that he'll prove them wrong. At his last appt. a couple of weeks ago, they told Robert 6 months - I refuse to acknowledge or consider that. I know exactly how you are feeling right now - right down to the whole screaming/driving thing. I don't show much emotion at home, so it all seems to come out while I'm driving down the road!

I'm glad to hear that your nephew is doing well - I'm sure you have a lot to do with that. He is lucky to have you in his life.

Hope that you continue to post! Have a peaceful day.....

Alisa, I am so sorry that you are fighting another battle.

There's a technique I learned years ago for releasing anger: Buy a plastic bat (in fact get 2--one for your nephew, also--and use it to beat a pillow. It really does help a lot. Teach the boy that it is alright to release anger safely, without hurting anyone...and also okay to cry at home when sad (he'll be picked on at school or sports.) A drum circle sounds really neat, too, if you can find one. Lots safer than screaming while driving. Though you could find some woods or a remote place to scream w/o endangering yourself or others.

We do like people to come back here, especially when hurting. Otherwise, we are left wondering whatever happened to _____? There is no graduation from this forum because "life happens."

Hugs,
Connie

I know that if I never need someone to talk to I can always come here. My Husband, Gene, died Saturday. He died here at our home on the deck he so loved to sit at to gaze upon our creations, memories hanging all around in chimes and driftwood collected and figurines collected through the years.

It was unexpected and he collapsed to never awaken again. If I told some of my experience they would think I was nuts. But I share with you all he is in Heaven for I seen my Father's face as he came to take him with him. Gene loved my Dad and my Dad loved him.

I had so often questioned what I should do about praying over him if ever the situation was to arise. I never asked him if I could. It all happened so quick and without warning. I don't know if he ever Prayed. I know I Prayed for him. I Prayed God would touch him and let him know He was there.

Maybe my Faith rubbed off on Gene. I know he is in Heaven and there is a sense of calmness in my Heart that all is OK and things have been put in order.

He had taken a gut punch Wednesday before chemo. New Liver lesions, Colon and Lymph nodes enlarged. He felt that when they opened him up for surgery for the Ileostomy they caused spread of his cancer. We may never now. A new game change was being put into place to battle his cancer.

I am Happy he is no longer being tortured, no more pain and sickness. And to see my Father's face upon him, I new I had lost him but he was in good hands. I kissed him, told him I Love You Madly and I will see you again.


Blessings and Many Prayers,
Alisa

Alisa I'm so sorry for your loss. I've never met anyone, agnostic or believer who didn't appreciate prayers. You sound amazingly at peace and that truly is the result of prayer and believing. Seeing your father's face is, I believe, the otherworldly realm we see (if we look with our hearts) when death is imminent.

May God bless you and keep you through this grieving process ... and surround you with loving arms through family and friends ... as you gather to celebrate his life.

My deepest sympathies and heartfelt prayers for you and your family.

Alisa, I'm so sorry about all this. I hope you and your nephew will have a speedy recovery from all this agony the last year or so has brought.

Ziff

Alisa,

I miss your words of wisdom lately in the forum and hope you continue to contribute in the future. I am so sorry about Gene and I hope you can get to a peaceful place as you did with your brother not too long ago.

You sure have had a heavy burden this past year but I think you are one strong woman. And your faith will help you through this. Hugs for you and your nephew.

Alisa, You know your always welcome. Your as much a part of this group now as you were when LJ was having his problems and sequential death. When you get a moment please do keep us posted. Your such as positive person and that tends to make me think Connor is one lucky young man. Enjoy your holiday cheer and get into those festivities, You do have alot to be thankful for in the midst of this bad spell.

Ziff

On New Year's Day, as on every other day...

I think of all of those who are not here with us in body. Today I am thinking of Connie and her legacy. How great a hole she has left. And I am happy and encouraged to see others jumping in to try and fill it in whatever way they can.

But mostly I am thinking of our loved ones and wondering what they are doing. If they are too busy being happy in the perfection they have finally reached to see us here. Still struggling with the loss.

I miss them all.

Thinking of Connie's hugs (()) today, Angie1953's candles, Sandia's deep breaths, and all of the rest...

Piggy antics have me smiling.. hope Ziff and **David** are still at it. I don't check in here much anymore, but I do still think of you all.

Love and peace,

Marie

Well, to be honest, it is just too sad for me. I seem to check in at the worst times. and this brings me to a place where I don't like to be emotionally. I do think of you all quite often, though.

Glad you are still kicking Ziff....

Hello Marie. I was happy to see you check in with us - I've wondered how you were doing. Ah Connie - I still miss her and I'm sure I always will. This is still the wonderful place it's always been, but it's just felt a bit...different, since she's been gone.

I understand how you feel, I really do. After Robert died, I didn't know if I would come back here. I thought that the sadness of members' bad news would just be too much to deal with. And to be perfectly honest, I was also afraid that I might feel resentment towards those who were having successful outcomes. But I found that wasn't true. Yes, I'm saddened when someone isn't doing well, but when someone gets their new liver - or beats HepC - it makes me feel good. There are people in this world who I would resent getting well (child molesters, rapists, etc.), but the people here are good people, deserving people. And the happiness and relief that these folks and their families feel, when they or a loved one gets well, helps another teeny part of my heart heal - because each success story means there is one less person/family that will feel how I'm feeling now. And also, I don't know if anything I say, or any advice or info I give, helps anyone - but it feels good to try. So many were here for me when I needed the same, that I feel the need to 'pay it forward'.

Anyway, if you ever get to the point where you are able to, without hurting yourself emotionally - please come back and join in again! We'll be here. In the meantime, please know that you are thought of and cared about. Take care of yourself.

Here there Marie.. glad to see you back.. and yes hard to believe it is four years ... since Mike left us..

the cast of characters is still here..

here's a hug and a smile for you this day!!