My dad has esld...alcoholic cirrhosis

My dad isn't swollen anymore he is like a skeleton.

And yes lost spouse that's what it looks like to me is thrush. We will ask about it in the morning forsure. I think dad was going back into a coma today, I've seen the signs before, eyes rolling back, in and out of consciousness. Can't drink, hardly says anything. We will see how tomorrow is. I'm at home with my son tonight.

I don't know what to expect.

Thanks Mae, I'm off to sleep. Zzzzzzz

Is it normal for me to feel angry and mad? I don't know, that is how I feel today.

Hi Jodi! Yes, it is totally normal to feel angry and mad (as well as just about every other emotion). You have every right to be angry - you're facing losing your Dad and it's not fair. You're mad at the disease that is making him so ill...at the situation that you have no control over...at your Dad for leaving you. There is no right or wrong way to get through this - it's as individual as humans themselves. And yes - you will get through this. You and your family remain in my thoughts and prayers.

How is your Dad today?

This is a rough time for a family.....when it is unclear if their loved one can rally or if their passing is inevitable. It seems to me, from the outside, that his medical team is committed to stabilizing him so that a treatment plan can be developed...transplant, no transplant, palliative care...which ever. They will treat an infection as long as they can I am sure.

For now, you and your family need to spend as much time as you can with him, he will hear you even when he is non responsive. If this is his time, ease his passing, let him know you will all miss him like crazy but he will live on in your hearts and you will all look after each other. If it is not his time...you will be relieved to have him in your lives for as long as he is able. This is a delicate balance.

If you get hospice involved, and I encourage that when death is likely in the next months, they will talk you through these difficult emotions...they are wonderful with families...will support your being angry at the disease...and will encourage you to make sure his transition, if this is the time, is peaceful.

My thoughts go out to you and your family today.

Hugs,
Mama Lama

The doctor said it; first he has to be stabilized. Should that happen, then they can make a decision about a transplant. You have to be sick enough to get a transplant, but not so sick that you won't survive the surgery.

He is awake , had a few spoonfuls of pudding and 7 up. My sister is there and he is refusing his lactalose. I suggested to my sister to use a syringe and try it slowly so he doesn't choke. I am making my son lunch and then I'm heading to the hospital. I will update when I get home. Thank you again to everyone.

That was probably the best gift he's had in years. To be exact since you did that back as a child. Funny how all that shiny big money stuff cant touch a few words or a drawinf from your kids at any age. Wonderful idea. I keep you and Lost Sons dad's in my thoughts daily.


Ziff

Awesome idea on the gift Jodi. My children have been told this for years "Don't buy me anything, make me a card or write a poem or something". My best gift was a sketch of my Mom from my daughter (just between us, LOL)

I too am touched by your story and I look for updates each day. Many of us feel your pain....we are kindred spirits, I guess you could say. You're such a loving daughter to both your parents, they're very fortunate that you're there making these tough days a bit easier for them, though I suspect that is how you were raised.

Make sure you get a pic of the gift for posterity :)

Hugs, Mae

This part is so very sad.

They give atavan for anxiety and morphine for the pain.

It provides smooth sailing for the patient. This can be rough. Have they sent in hospice counselor to work with your family? Those folks are really really good with end stage situations.

I'm so sorry this is happening...I remember these days with my own folks...this in between time be it over some years or sudden, is really rough.

Hugs,

Mama Lama

My sister told me tonight that he is breathing only from the top of his right lung the left lung and most of the right is full of fluid. He keeps his oxygen on all day and night to help him breathe.

Jodi, I just wanted you to know that you and your family are still in my thoughts and prayers - I say a special prayer for your Dad every night, in fact.

By the time you read this, you've probably already spoken with your Dad's nurse, but I wanted to answer your question anyway. The ativan and morphine (if that's what they give him, but it is usually the 'go to' med at this point) will be good for your Dad. The dosages they administer are low and the benefits definitely outweigh any risks. The ativan will calm any anxiety he may be having. This can actually help his breathing a bit. A person who is congested and struggling to breathe will become anxious and panicky, which in turn, can cause them to struggle more and increase their breathing difficulties. I sure hope that makes sense! The morphine will not only help with any pain your Dad is having, it will also help him relax a little. And like I said, the dosages they give are low. For example, Robert was given 1mg morphine every hour, if he needed it. Even though he was in a coma, we could tell when he was getting uncomfortable or restless. I always made sure they gave it to him before they turned him (he hated that) or when they messed with his vent (equally hated it! lol).

You want to know if the meds will hasten your Dad's passing. It's not a matter of 'hastening' it, but 'easing' it. He will go when it's his time, with or without medications - but they can make his transition much more comfortable and peaceful. I hope something I said helps. I know how difficult this all is and I am so sorry that you're going through it. Well, time for that special prayer I mentioned. I'll be looking for your update.....