2Worried helping both parents with ESLD, needs support

Barry,

I wish you had your own thread....or maybe you would start one....cut and paste your stuff into a new topic.

I am so very sorry to hear how things have gone from bad to worse at your house. I knew when she relapsed but then you didn't say much along the way. Her "transition" to whatever afterlife might really be sounds so very sad and difficult for her, for you, for the children.

You are a cerebral guy, and I hope that you are doing as well as possible on the feelings side of this...there is always so much to DO, but we still have that grieving thing to deal with at some point.

Many good thoughts are coming your way. And thanks for all the help and support you provide to others here..there are great group of people posting here.

Hugs,
Mama Lama

Mama Lama....your words makes me feel so good. Thank you. I have worked hard on accepting what I cannot change. Admitting when I am unable to do something. Trust that what happens is meant to happen. Trust.

It's sort of freeing. It took me a long, long time to get there. I'm almost there.

I've never really thought of caregiving as enabling...it makes sense though. That is brilliant. My therapist also recommended AlAnon. I never went. It probably would've helped 20 years agp. Present day I have to accept Dad and Mom for who they are now. And care for them as who they are now. Support them yet knowing I don't have to agree with their lifestyles.

I go to a place called Sheltering Arms Rehabilitation Hospital. My pain psychologist is there, as well as my pain management doctor, physical therapy, aquatherapy, my chronic pain group, and a whole bunch of kind nurses and assistants that go out of their way to help us.

If a friend of mine hadn't referred me to Sheltering Arms, I really don't know where I would be today. I owe everything to them. I've been seeing my pain psychologist for about 3 years now. It took a good year to feel like I've gotten somewhere. I don't look at 3 years as being too long. It took 6 months just for us to get to know each other. And for her to get to know me. She has saved me. My chronic pain group which meets every 1st and 3rd Monday has saved me. I was one of the original members. My psychologist runs the group.

I have made a friend from the group recently. We understand the pain each other has. I even went to a movie with her. I hadn't been able to sit through a movie in years. It was fun to get out for myself for once. She has offered to drive me anywhere I need to go. I can't drive over 30 minutes at a time. It seems everything that has to deal with my mom and dad is an hour away. Even the funeral home and cemetery. I feel it's time to make arrangements and have everything taken care of when that day comes. I know what they both want.

Twisted and turned. Boy that sounds exactly how I feel lately. Going in all directions not really knowing which is more important. I have a bad habit of thinking too far ahead. Day by day they tell me.

It's hard. I try my best. I get to where I think I can do it all. And make things right.

I can't.

You can't either.

We'll try acceptance together.

I hope the book signing went well and you got the bills paid. Multitasking and time management.

I used to be good at both.

Hugs,
2W