Mom's Condition Getting Worse?

I joined HW recently and still glad that I did. Even though I don't post all that often I still read and keep up with those I know and those I haven't talked to yet.

MamaLama & Themiz, I think of both of you everyday. I try my best to keep up with your journeys.

I need help in understanding what's happening to my mom. My worry gauge is going up everyday.

My mom has been Dx with:

COPD - due to asthma
CHF
Pneumonia - she's had it before. I don't know if she still has it
ALcohol Liver Disease - she was dx with Alcohol Hepatitis in 2009
Multiple Organ Failure
Resp. Failure
Hypothyroidism
Chronic Airway Obstruction
Hypertension
Anemia
Bilateral Footdrop
Generalized weakness
Seizures - Epilepsy

She is only 73 yrs old.

She went into the hospital in July 2014. She aspirated during an endoscopy and was intubated for 4-5 days. She stayed in ICU for 14 days. Edema all over her body set in. Her liver was/is not producing Albumin. Her heart fraction rate was 35% at the time. She was severely malnourished. She's been in ICU, Acute Care, Skilled Nursing and now a nursing home. She never progressed in PT. Unable to walk due to her foot drop that stayed in that position in both feet.

Shoot to present time. She's kept a positive outlook in the nursing home. However, it's her coughing I'm worried about. I'm assuming it could be from anything given how many diagnoses she has. The phlegm was so bad yesterday I couldn't understand her over the phone. Her cough is awful. I called the nurse and asked that her chest be listened to and call me back with what her condition is and what they hear.

They heard a little rattling. I kept trying to ask what that meant and all I got from it was her lungs are very congested. I don't like the rattling part though. They put her on Levaquin which she's been on before. If this antibiotic doesn't help after 7 days, they will do a chest xray. Why don't they do the xrays now?

How concerned should I be about this situation? I know no one knows, but I'm not doing too well with the patience part. Have never been good with it. I know things will happen as they should, but it's still hard.

Is it CHF getting worse? Is it COPD?

I'm also wondering why respiratory failure is a diagnosis. She did aspirate during the endoscopy and was intubated, so will that be in her diagnoses forever?

Adding to everything, Mom can walk with a walker now. She's gotten stronger with her activities of daily living, but not all of them. So now she thinks she's going home. I've just let her think that until she formally asks about her condition. She has never been proactive with her health. She continued to drink even after she was diagnosed with Hepatitis. It's all so sad.

I have had to look out for myself as stress makes my BP go down, pain gets worse of course, it is all just wearing me out. I was supposed to get my nerve block today, but it snowed. They closed the ambulatory services today. I wouldn't have gotten there anyway. So it's next Tuesday.

Does all this make sense? Sorry to go on and on. My thoughts and words flow when I start writing. I should probably be writing more on here. It helps b/c of how caring all of you are.

HUGS to everyone,
Val

Themiz, thank you for making me see that she has indeed improved and things are under control. I do believe she has had chronic conditions that she never told my brother and I about. Some were surprises to us. But that's how some alcoholics live their lives. In secret.

Dad is doing so well. He is cooking, making salads, eating more veggies. I am very proud of him. He hasn't touched a sip of alcohol. He does admit he craves it. That made me feel good that he can be honest with me. I told him it will be an everyday decision. You wake up and tell yourself I'm not going to drink today. I really believe he get that. He's also been going to the doctors like he should.

He is becoming proactive and wants to know more about Mom's conditions. However, we as a family have talked about Mom possibly coming home. Dad immediately says "There's no way I could take care of her. She'll have me doing everything for her." (I believe that) They both refuse to get treatment or attend AA for help.

I've spoken to her physical therapist. He can't say she will or won't go home, understandably. She still has some goals to meet. He says he's starting to see a road block and no progress for a couple weeks. I spoke to the Nursing Director as well. She says Mom most likely wouldn't be released home to Dad as they know his situation. He's just as sick or even sicker.

It's sad that truly she should be home. She's lived with these conditions for many, many years. But now their "secret" is out. How they lived their lives has put them in this situation. I don't feel Mom would change her lifestyle like Dad has. Once when I was talking to her about lifestyles, she asked me, what does lifestyle mean? So sad.

As far as home care, Dad is stubborn and won't allow "strangers" in the house. It's frustrating. But due to these circumstances, maybe he'll change his mind. Although I hear home care is expensive and not covered by Medicaid.

I am gong to hang in there and look at the positive in this. Thanks again. Send any thoughts that you have my way! This helps me a lot.

Big Hugs

Mama L, thank you. Those are words that someone needed to say to me.

Your words resonated with me. Words I will live by.

I'm allowing my own spirituality to be pushed aside. My beliefs need to be brought back in.

Pray, hope, and wait. Only one power knows when, where, and how it will happen. Acceptance needed.

You are a beautiful person. If only my parents felt the way you do. They don't and that's something I need to accept.

Each day I pray that Mom is put out of her pain. I've never said those words out loud.

I owe my parents and myself to learn more about the Hospice & AA models. I will take them to heart.

Hugs,
2W