Parents' Alcohol Relapse - the waiting game

Hello everyone, I haven't posted for quite a while. I hope everyone is doing the best they can!

Many months ago I had been keeping everyone posted about my parents who are both alcoholics. Both got sick last year. Mom went through the various levels of care for 8 months. Nursing home was the last location. She was discharged from the NH as soon as she could walk with a cane. Her left foot had frozen in a drop foot position. She could walk with the right height of heel wearing a short boot. Now, today, her foot is flat. She was DX with Hepatitis, CHF, ALD, etc. Dad DX with ESLD, Pancreatitis, Hepathetic Encephalopathy, etc.

Both of my parents are walking miracles. They have way more than 9 lives. When they got back home with each other, in their enabling environment, it didn't take long for them to pick up the bottle again. It would be a medical journal worthy subject if they NEVER drank again. Professional help has always been refused.

Mom seems to have approx four personalities. Yesterday, she went back 35 years and brought up a very personal subject for me. Totally out of the blue. Dementia sign? I suppose this is part of the ride.

I've lost count how many times they've both gotten alcohol poisoned, gone to ER, and gotten sober. And being alcoholics, they go home and drink again.

I've come a long way in being able to accept the way they are now. When I talk to Mom I agree with everything she says. I don't ask questions. I don't do anything to make her mad. When she gives me unsolicited advice, I tell her she has every right to her opinions; however, she should always support the family. When I told her that yesterday, she shut down and said she had to go. Whatever works.

Dad emails me. I have learned how to handle most of his subjects. And boy are there some crazy subjects! He admitted twice to hitting on young women in the market. Another Dementia sign?

Thank you for reading this and hopefully not minding my venting.

I apologize for not being on here for so long. I suppose life got in the way.

Hugs,
Val

Thank you themiz. It is so sad they couldn't hold on. Of course, being as they always denied professional help, there's hardly a chance they would stay sober. I knew when Mom got back home and in that old environment, both would go back. I have been really affected by this. My pain is almost uncontrollable. My pain psychologist and chronic group have helped substantially. Without them, I wouldn't be well at all. I do have support from my husband. My brother and I have stayed close and on the same page. Who knows what I'll do when something happens. I suppose it will depend on WHAT happens. I predict it will be a bad fall or alcohol poisoning. Mom has fallen once that I know of. She didn't tell me and didn't want me to know. I found out from my aunt. Thank you again for writing. How have you been?
Big Hugs.

Mama Lama...Thanks for writing. It sure took me a while to accept my parents for who they are NOW. I love them very much. Yes, they evoked both POAs. Everything is back in their hands. I am not managing anything. I was upset at first, but in the end it was a load off of my shoulders. They are managing everything in their life on their own except alcohol. Nothing major has happened....yet.

Mom and Dad are showing dementia signs here and there. They go on their rants, blaming people and lying. They are not letting anyone come over, typical. I thought for a while that they weren't going to let my daughter, their granddaughter come see them, but they did.

It takes a certain way to talk to them. I've learned to stick to that. I know everyone who's been through this in their family knows exactly what I mean.

Thank you for noticing I'm in a better place. It feels good. Really good.

Hugs,

Val