I lost the love of my life

August 29th @ 12:35pm I lost the love of my life. After diabetes, chronic kidney disease, Hep C, liver cancer, liver transplant, bile duct surgery, mucormycosis, heart attack, open heart surgery, stroke and carotid artery surgery........Ron died of organizing pneumonia after 6 weeks in ICU. I feel lost.

I want to thank you all for ALWAYS being there for us.

If you will indulge me - this is the FB post of his passing.

I've wanted to post on FB and I thought at different times - it might feel a 'certain' way - so I waited to post. I guess that if I didn't post today - who knows when I would post.....because although Ron's death was real, and I was there, family members came to visit and brought wonderful food to the house, our family gathered and we made arrangements, laughed and cried, then the viewing..........how my heart was touched by the love I felt - the coming together to show love for this man - and the beautiful tributes to Ron at the funeral......the moment I received the flag in gratitude for his service to our country....... I kept thinking with each event - it would feel real. It doesn't feel real - it feels - like unfeeling - no feeling - loss of feeling - as well as the deepest pain that was ever felt - all at the same time. There really are no words.

Ron and I were prepared but as funny as it sounds, I thought it would never happen....or at least for many, many more years.

I hope you won't mind allowing me to share our last story and the gift he gave me.

The night before Ron's death I had been sick (actually thought I was having a heart attack)....and when I tried to get up that next morning - my body said NO. I called Libby and she went to the hospital to sit with Ron until I could get there. I'm glad they had that time together. In the meantime the doctor called and told me I needed to come soon. Anthony picked me up and we dashed to the hospital.

When I arrived I got into bed with Ron and held him in my arms; I told him I would not hold him to his promise - that it was time to go and see his dad, mama and brother - that I would be okay - he needed to fly...fly....fly...fly.... I told him how much I loved him, how he changed my life and the life of our children and grandchildren. I thanked him for the way he parented Libby - when I would say no (because I was anxious and afraid for her to do just about anything) - he would find a way to work it out so she could have fun and be safe, too. I thanked him for the way he cared for me and made everything easier for me.......but that I needed him to go.....we laid there for some time. Then I felt something....that he was leaving........and I leaned up, and looked at him - straight in his face and kissed his mouth as he took his last breath - it was the most beautiful gift he could give me - he loved me in life and death.

You all have gone on this journey with us - for many years - the rollercoaster ride that is life. I wanted you to know how Ron left this earth. We all felt his spirit in the room as he left.....he flew and he flew and he flew high.

Much love to you all!

Ron and Pam

I am so sorry for your great loss, Pam. I followed your blog and was touched by your words and photo's of Ron's recovery. I hope you know you are welcome here anytime. You are on my heart. Big Hugs

This really hurts. We have been in touch all the way through this journey and now Ron's is at an end. If there's one thing I know, it's that none of us get out of here alive. Thank you for letting us know. Be well.

Pam, My thoughts are with you and your family. Although our personalities have clashed a few times I want you to know that I sincerely respect you for the courage you displayed in helping Ron make the most of his life through this ugly disease. I wish you and your family all the beauty life can offer and, most of all peace in knowing you truly walked hand and hand with him through it all.


Ziff

Pam, I am so very sorry that Ron's journey has ended. He had almost 5 extra years to spend with his adoring wife and family. What a miracle that was. Hugs, Carol

I am truly sorry for your loss. I can not even begin to imagine the loss of my spouse. Please keep posting, you still have a lot to give. As for me ; I'M fine.
lavendar

Post Edited (lavendar) : 9/18/2015 4:06:26 AM (GMT-6)

Pam. I have not been here for a few months and just seen your post. I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story of his passing.

Dorothy

Pam...so sorry about Ron's passing. You two helped I and hubby through this journey in 2013...and I was sad to read about his passing. Thinking of you and I so relate to the feeling of thinking you are prepared but not really believing it would happen.

Angie53
Widow of Hep C hubby
that passed away 2/2013
He decided to not have a transplant