she is like a cat with nine lives

after recently posting bout my mum, she is now back in hospital. friday night she drank through the night, she was found on the floor wedged up against her bedroom door, with congealed blood all over her face , her breathing was gurggled and she was fitting. ambulance phoned, she was seizuiring for 1 and a half hours. when i spoke to the doctors they frightened me saying they were not sure if she would regain consciousness and she was critical. they asked me if she had a living will which she didn't so they asked me what my wishes were if she went into cardiac arrest. i dont want her to suffer, her poartner went crazy saying i was giving up on her.i do not want to be the one who decides whether she lives or dies, to me it should be in gods hands. i went to see her today, she had woken up, she has had another bleed in her brain, her arms are purple with coagulation problems. but she was her usual nippy self, cheeky , sarcastic telling us she is fine. i think here we go again she will get patched up and put out again. ifeel totally drained, exhausted by it all, but i cannot face all the visits again, all the usual things that go with it all. she has no one but her partner and me.  the doctors cant believe how quick she bounces back. i dont know where to turn now.

the trouble is my mum does not think she is that sick. i think she is in denial over that too. i cant even imagine bringing up the subject as when we try to talk to her about what she has been through she says she does not remember.the last two years have been awful constant in and out hospital. the thing is she was a clever woman who held down a good job with responsibilities, she must look at her body and think what is happening.

her partner refuses to get her alcohol, never has done he does not drink has not drtank for many years. most days she phones a taxi company sometimes they go for her other times she struggles out to the taxi and is back 5 min later. we have tried phoning taxi company, drivers ect all you get is abuse.her partner empties the drink and replaces with water.even the neighbours stop her when she goes out, sometimes she goes back in other times she tells them where to go.

i cant remember when i had a last time with her that was pleasant. so i feel i have to wait until the next time

hospitals will not put her anywhere, they say she has to make her own mind up to stop before they can do anything, and she wont.....