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I can't do this anymore

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Posted 8/30/2009 6:51 PM (GMT 0)

I don't think I can keep doing this. I sit in this house day by day and watch him just get worse and worse. He sleeps all of the time. He is barely drinking now and never eats.How much thinner can he get? What is god waiting for.Why cant he just take him away from this horrible suffering. He says he is not in pain but I know he is miserable. I cannot stand this. There is nothing I can do . I read the posts of others getting transplants and dont get me wrong I am thrilled for each and everyone,but I want that for him. I do not understand why it drags on so. When hospice comes in the morning,I am out the door,I just have to get away.I have no where to go but it doesn't matter. I try to stay busy doing anything so I dont just sit here and watch him. He is still sleeping in the bed and I am afraid to go to sleep. He might pass in the nite and I not know it. I couldn't bare it. I feel like I have been grieving for 9 months and it just continues forever. I t seems like there ought to be something someone can do. This is unbearable.I want to help him but I don't know how.

Posted 8/30/2009 8:17 PM (GMT 0)
Oh moonroe, I am so sorry that you are feeling so helpless. I wish I had some magic wand and could make it all better. There isn't much I can say to encourage you but the reality is I can't. No one can say what will happen in the following weeks or months to come. We can stay hopeful that he gets a liver soon. In the meantime all you can do is keep going from day to day. You need your sleep too you know. If GOD decides to take him while you sleep would it make a difference? Would it change the outcome? Believe me I know what that fear is too but I had to be rational and realize that it doesn't really matter. When the time comes it just comes no matter what time of day it is or what you are doing. On the other hand maybe a liver will become available and he will do just fine. We have to keep our hope alive. GOD bless and I will keep praying for you both.
Posted 8/30/2009 8:47 PM (GMT 0)
My husband has just been diagniosed today, I really feel your pain, I hope and prya that you will get good news soon.

 

Posted 8/31/2009 1:04 PM (GMT 0)
i am so sorry for your situation. i dont know what else to say other than i will keep you in my prayers. do get some sleep as you need it and im sure your hubby will want you to sleep. treasure every moment with him and tell him you love him. but do get out some time for you to
Posted 9/1/2009 3:47 AM (GMT 0)
Hello (((Moonroe))), I wish I could just hug you and tell you it's going to be alright......You have been through so much. Me thinks it time for you to recharge your batteries. I know that you have been getting away physically when hospice comes........but I bet you are not getting away mentally. HUH??
You have got to find something to calm yourself and take your mind off of things for a little bit. When you get away........do you do something that you love to do? That's what needs to happen for you to recharge your batteries......Seeing your loved one so sick is taking it's toll on you and if you don't take care of yourself ..........you will end up sick.

Lot's of thoughts and prayers...........
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