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On the other side of "no treatment"

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Posted 4/26/2010 4:33 PM (GMT 0)
Mike's Video Tribute and obituatary is online at wrightfuneral.com .... Michael Garcia.... unfortunately we had no pics together... but he is seen with my daughter in a number of them ... guess who was behind the camera... take pics together... making salads today for the reception... family putting all on me... but we're muddling through.. practicing with organist today... funeral home called... asked if could shave Mike... how odd... and so it goes... Sandi
Posted 4/26/2010 7:05 PM (GMT 0)
it sounds as if he is going to have a wonderful meaningful funeral how lovely of you to be able to do this for him, he will be so proud of you....keep your head high,,you are doing so great.

you have my deepest sympathy for your loss.
Posted 4/26/2010 8:07 PM (GMT 0)
Bare walls now where all his things hung... took everything down for the video tribute... please keep me in your prayers... I feel like I wish I was with him... I know everyone feels that way... but the way I'm coping is by moving and doing... found another poem he wrote about when he went... man... thanks Allie... God will keep his hands on us as he has... cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry
Posted 4/26/2010 9:17 PM (GMT 0)
Sandi, if it helps to keep busy and doing, then that's what you should do.  I think the hardest time for you will be when it's all over.  I know you will miss him, but I also know in my heart that you didn't want him to linger and suffer.  He is at peace now.  Hang on to that thought.

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 4/26/2010 9:29 PM (GMT 0)
what a beautiful caring person you are. i just watched the video of mike and it was lovely. i am not ashamed to admit that i am sitting here crying for you and your loss. But God is good and you will be reunited someday. please know that i will hold you in my thoughts and continue to pray for you . Donna
Posted 4/27/2010 12:17 AM (GMT 0)

That was a lovely video tribute to Mike, Sandi.  Gone too soon, for sure.

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 4/27/2010 12:59 AM (GMT 0)
rolleyes  Practiced songs for the funeral... Amazing Grace, How Great Thou Art, On Eagles Wings, and Prayer of St. Francis...  so pray I have the strength... I want to give Him this gift... and his family too... friends... God will be with us... as He has been through this path... now u all are gonna think I'm nutz... but Mike's pic winked at me on that video today... I swear... I do... I think I believe in something like that now... his eyes twinkle in there... he was so happy Christmas time... so happy.. and yes... he went from complete independence to passing... and that is what he wanted... he said he just wanted to go to sleep... and that's what he did...any ways thanks for letting me post that link... and also thanks for letting me stay.. I have to .. cuz... I have no one else.. so isolated with caring for Mike the past few years... all salads done.. ham cut... dog stole part of one... can't blame him.... so give the house a cleaning wash the dishes... and show up... reception later... then can relax... actually getting better as get things done.. I'm worried about family coming in and trying to grab things... and I just can't deal with that... at all... thanks for listening... Sandi
Posted 4/27/2010 3:43 AM (GMT 0)

Mike had amazing eyes.  That was the first thing I noticed in his pictures.

You will get through this and it will all be okay.  You have so much to share with others here.  We need you and  your experience and strength.

God bless.

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 4/27/2010 2:28 PM (GMT 0)
Tough day... teenagers... r a pain.... seems like slow motion... but this day too shall pass. and yes... his eyes twinkle there... definitely twinkle... that pic caught... his spirit... and that was unusual..cuz he didn't always have that big a grin on his face.. kinda caught the ole Mike... well taking the plunge to finish this journey with Mike... got the house laid out a little more dusting.. I bought orange and blue table cloth.. and matching plates.. for the Broncos theme... ham sandwiches, three salads... and of course you all are invited to my virtual reception.. take a time today to enjoy those around... and remember.. Mike and I had the "real deal" and that made it so much more worth doing...we are blessed... Sandi
Posted 4/27/2010 11:12 PM (GMT 0)
funeral done... was surprised they could do so well.. covered the jaundice... service and reception went well.. so now can collapse... thanks for prayers... well when it came down to it... I just caved to the family... they took his car collection.. but oh well... we have to share I guess... so off to sleep and relax... and figure out tomorrow... I sure miss my man... sandi
Posted 4/28/2010 1:40 AM (GMT 0)
Beautiful tribute Sandi.   Thoughts and prayers.......
Posted 4/28/2010 1:59 AM (GMT 0)

I'm glad everything went well, Sandi.  The cars are not such a big thing.  Now comes the really hard part:  Picking up your life and living it without Mike.

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 4/28/2010 8:47 AM (GMT 0)
Take some time now for you and your teenager, reality will sink in and you will be lost for a while. Rest you have done a marvelous job, no one could have done any better. It will be hard but you are strong, through time it will get easier.
Posted 4/28/2010 7:58 PM (GMT 0)
well I've never been one to sit still long... that's why this was so hard and I gained weight... being so sedentary... so... onwards and upwards... I'll be fine... there is a big hole there... and I'll deal with it... G-d brought us together... and I'll see Mike again... so thanks all...Sandi
Posted 4/28/2010 11:59 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry for your loss. The video was beautiful and I'm glad you got through the service OK. You are in my prayers.

Linda
Posted 4/30/2010 12:35 PM (GMT 0)
It's a week now... seems like the whole world should have stopped yesterday at 3 p.m. but it didn't just mine... the dog is out of whack.... and things are slowly coming together.... I have an interview today... I'm going but... just to do it... not sure if it's even something I want they didn't put much of a description in the paper... feel stupid... been wearing Mike's clothes... and smelling him.... just to be near him... but I'm not overly saddened... I'm getting better.. and will over time... lost 4 pounds this week... oh, well and so life goes...
Posted 4/30/2010 6:32 PM (GMT 0)

Sandi, it doesn't seem like a week...maybe because you've kept us updated.  I think it's good to start doing things, just to ease into a "new normal."  I think that missing Mike will pop up at the most unexpected times.  Just be aware that that will happen, perhaps along with a few tears.

Big hugs,

Connie

Posted 4/30/2010 8:41 PM (GMT 0)
Life will be so strange for you right now, you will be in a daze at the moment not really taking everything in. Wanting to smell him around you makes you feel secure nothing up with that. Just take it on day at a time, you will get there.
Posted 4/30/2010 9:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Sandi,  I did the same things.......it's all quite normal.   I even slept in the hospital bed that he died in.  The company that brought it wanted to pick it up the next day.  I wasn't ready to give it up so soon.   I wouldn't answer the phone to them so I kept it an extra 2-3 days.  

I know that food is the last thing on your mind right now........But you have to force yourself to eat.   

Take care and let us know how the interview went.........thoughts and prayers.......  

Posted 5/1/2010 1:04 AM (GMT 0)
Mike didn't answer his phone today... I was so excited ,, I had an excellent interview... and then went to a staff meeting... and right after the staff meeting... I called Mike to tell him about all the stupid work stuff... and what a great interview I had... and just as I put the call through... I threw the phone.... and I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed... and the dog is acting weird... he ate a letter of mine today... I did get the lawn mowed... at least the front side that the city can see... next Tuesday I'll catch the rest when it's supposed to quit raining....this house is so quiet... and I can't sleep in his bed... I'm back out on the couch.. just can't do it... and the walls are so odd cuz I took everything over to the funeral home... I found a pic in his phone... I bought him a huge balloon that says I love you Today Tomorrow and Forever for Valentine's day... and believe it or  not it is still up and flying high... but he took a pic up it and it was in his phone there when I looked at his pics... guess he spent a lot of time looking at it... he put up a lot of my love cards on the wall too in the last two weeks of his life...well enough for today... I go back to work tomorrow night... all things will work out... God has his hand on me..

 

Posted 5/1/2010 1:21 AM (GMT 0)
Luv U 2 didn't answer today...

though I waited for

a second or two..

before I realized...

my mistake..

Love U 2 ..

would never answer

again...

And I cried..

so I sent my last

text to him...

Love U 2...

Posted 5/1/2010 3:50 AM (GMT 0)

Sandi, I know your posting is more for you than us, but I am so pleased that your interview went well.  Just being together enough to do something like that, after what you have been through, shows what a special, strong person you are.

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 5/1/2010 5:12 PM (GMT 0)

Just finishing the journey on the other side of no treatment... ordered urn jewlery today... saw something in one of the posts... early when I started reading that helped me be prepared... that wasn't easy... gravesite burial will be next Friday.. some complications with scheduling right now... Priest couldn't make it this week... but then the jewlery can make it here by then.. anyways thanks... Sandi

Posted 5/7/2010 2:08 PM (GMT 0)
oh my heart breaks for you. i couldnt imagine not having my hubby by my side.
Posted 5/7/2010 2:21 PM (GMT 0)
Thinking of you today Sandi.........
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