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Posted 8/19/2010 7:58 PM (GMT 0)
so lately i have been feeling kinda down and like i cant do anything right. then me and hubby get into a fight were he was mad for almost two days. we finally talk and he says he feels that i have given up on life and stopped caring and i didnt even see this one coming. i know i make him mad sometimes and i think he is on the verge of leaving if i keep up as if i dont care. i didnt even realize i felt this but the more i think of it the more i realize he is right. i have given up because i felt that no matter what i couldnt do anything right. so i am proud to announce that i have decided to work on a better me. maybe i was like that because of the death of my mom but i am taking steps to make me feel better. i have started drinking more water(ewww) and i have started a dance workout that is on netflix and will be getting a membership at a gym to start working out. i have worked out for two days and boy do i feel so good now afterwards. im exhausted and i was sweating profusely but boy did i feel good. i also went to a park for a walk and walked over a mile.

on the flip side my daughter starts second grade. gosh im getting old.

Posted 8/19/2010 9:17 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Worriedgirl, Everyone gets depressed after a loved one dies. It comes with the territory.
But I am glad you are taking steps to feel better. Keep up the good work.
My oldest granddaughter is now in the 4th grade so you are still a youngster.

Take care.......thoughts and prayers......
Posted 8/19/2010 10:00 PM (GMT 0)

WG, I'm glad you are taking positive steps to get out of your funk.  However, I'm wondering if your husband is concerned about your relationship with him.  Maybe you two need to have a serious talk and see what you can do to make him happier in the relationship, possibly even couples therapy.

And believe me, you are still a young thing!

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 8/20/2010 4:11 PM (GMT 0)
he wont do couples therapy but we did talk and i am working on a few other things other then losing weight, but i think if i got a better self image and felt better about myself then other things would fall into place where they are supposed to be. i am also not gonna bottle my feelings up and then snap when i cant take it no more im just gonna say what i feel.
Posted 8/20/2010 6:23 PM (GMT 0)

WG, as one who has had considerable amounts of therapy in the past, I'd say those sound like positive steps and that you are going in the right direction!  Good for you!

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 8/20/2010 8:57 PM (GMT 0)

WG,

It does sound like you're getting to a better place for you.  You need to take care of you.  Exercise can be a drag but it really is powerful on making you feel better and have more energy (which is kinda ironic since you feel drained right after a workout!).  Having an exercise buddy helps too!  My friend and I go super early in the morning and some mornings, if it weren't for meeting her, I'd just curl back up...but I have to go and meet her! 

Definitely don't keep things bottled up.  I did with my ex-husband, not that I think that would have changed his "ex" status but I have definitely learned a lot.  I say what I feel and want and if they don't like it...too bad!  Your husband loves you for you so just be yourself!  Maybe if you went for walks as a family that would help bond too...it's good for your daughter as well.  My boyfriend likes to get out a lot so we try to get our daughters out.  He has a 6 yr old and I have a 12 yr old.  We all have tennis rackets, fishing rods and golf clubs.  We don't do it a lot cuz of time and the girls still aren't soooo keen on all those sports (obviously he influences the fishing and golf  smilewinkgrin   ) but we try!

Good luck with your self improvements!!

Posted 8/21/2010 5:08 AM (GMT 0)
I really don't think your topic is "off-topic" some of these things are good to bring out too... and that is the effects on caretakers... and the aftermath of this disease... it impacts people and families in many ways...
Posted 9/3/2010 3:24 PM (GMT 0)
well today i am an official member of victory fitness club. i had a 7 day free pass thanks to a friend and went so far four days. my muscles are soooo sore and muscles i didnt even know i had hurt but im doing it. i had my lower, upper, and core part of my body worked on. i do 20 mins on the treadmill but today i did 25 mins. when i got off my legs were twitching so much but it feels great. i have a buddy at work who is helping encourage me to keep going. im gonna ask  him if i dont feel like going if i can call him and make  him talk me into going. im drinking water but i add stuff like the crystal light or sugar free koolaid instead of pop. if i feel like a pop i get the minute maid light lemonade, which has 5 calories and only 50 carbs. im gonna monitor my calories and try not to take in more then 2000 calories. my husband has been happy with what i am doing and is telling his family about me going to the gym.
Posted 9/3/2010 4:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hi WG,  it's wonderful that you are going to the gym.   Kudo's to you.   Good idea about calling the friend when you don't feel like it.   We all need moral support doing things that we really don't want to do at times. 

The most exercise that I get now, is going for a mile or two walk 3-4 days a week during my lunch hour at work. 

Take care.......thoughts and prayers.......

 

Posted 9/3/2010 4:35 PM (GMT 0)
WG.....congratulations! That is a big step....actually joining and going through with it! I think that as the next few weeks pass by, you will notice a huge difference in how you feel! Keep up the good work!

Mer
Posted 9/3/2010 10:14 PM (GMT 0)

Congrats, WG!  Good for you.  I know you are going to feel better, too.  I've been walking 3/4 mile almost every evening (that's a lot for me, with artificial hips.)  Sometimes I really don't feel like doing it, but force myself.  If my neighbor isn't working, she walks with me (though she trails a block or so behind me) and that helps, too.  Keep up the good work!

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 9/7/2010 8:27 PM (GMT 0)
well i weighed myself today on two different scales and i have lost an average of 3 to 7 pounds. horray. and ever since  our talk my hubby has been more attentive and more affectionate lately too.
Posted 9/7/2010 8:34 PM (GMT 0)

Good news, WG!  Keep it up.  He sees that you haven't given up and that makes him feel more positive towards you.

Hugs,

Connie


Posted 9/7/2010 9:20 PM (GMT 0)
you really think that is what he is saying. why then didnt he say something before? why do they expect us to read minds
Posted 9/7/2010 9:29 PM (GMT 0)

That should have been "sees."  Men are not the greatest at expressing their thoughts and feelings until it comes out in a fight or by persistent questioning, etc.

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 9/7/2010 11:16 PM (GMT 0)

Maybe he was afraid to hurt your feelings or say something wrong.  We all hear things the way we want to sometimes and when you weren't exactly yourself, you may have taken anything he said out of context.  Also, Connie's right (sorry to the guys on the group) but they aren't always the greatest at talking about feelings cool   So now he's showing you with affection and attention that he is also happier with your efforts at getting out of your funk.

I'm very proud of you for making such a great effort.  You will be so much happier with yourself as you get out more and do things that make you feel good! 

Posted 9/8/2010 1:32 AM (GMT 0)
when u start dropping weight.. it's strange how the world changes... and it's easier to put a positive spin on things... and wonderful that he is responding positively to you... the love is still in the house.. yes mammm you have heat for the heart... warmin for your lovin... sounds great he has responded... prayers ur way.. Sandi
Posted 9/8/2010 3:04 PM (GMT 0)
it feels good to work out. today i did 25 mins of cardio and i swear the speed seems to be slower so may up it by one or two tomorrow and then latin dance workout and then my upper body. i was gonna do my lower too but after all that i was exhausted
Posted 9/8/2010 7:09 PM (GMT 0)

WG, you are just beginning, so make sure you don't overdo and injure yourself.

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 9/8/2010 9:34 PM (GMT 0)
im trying not to but boy do i feel good after the workout
Posted 9/8/2010 9:51 PM (GMT 0)
That's due to the rise in the endorphins...the "feel good" chemical in your brain.  smilewinkgrin

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 9/8/2010 10:28 PM (GMT 0)
i just know that i wish i would have done it sooner. i never knew he felt i had given up but im glad he finally said something. i would rather know then losing him. i swear it is like our relationship is better, stronger somehow. i never knew you could give up and not even know you did it lol. but i think that was my reaction to my moms death. i miss her so much. in november it will be a year. but now i have given myself a whole new meaning to life. but i must say i sure do miss having a pepsi lol.
Posted 9/8/2010 10:33 PM (GMT 0)

How about Diet Pepsi?  I know some diets forbid any carbonated beverages, but I have to think the a diet soda occasionally isn't going to throw your plan out the window.

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 9/8/2010 10:49 PM (GMT 0)
i have tried lol but it tastes like flat pop. but its ok when i reach my goal weight i will allow myself one pepsi a week so i wont regain my weight. i have a lot of people to prove wrong and i have myself to look in the mirror at night. im doing this for me this time but im tired of people telling me i cant do it. but hubby is being supportive and that is great.
Posted 9/9/2010 1:41 AM (GMT 0)
alright alright alright... u are an inspiration... tomorrow... big butt (me) is going to start walking and biking again... thanks for the nudge...been so depressed .... ok ok ok... I hear you big guy in sky... so prayers are with you on this trail...   sandi ps I lost 100 pounds but was working construction... then went to this sedentary job... ugh gained back 40... so got to get after them.............. oh u go girl... yeah yeah yeah turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn
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