my dad is killing himself

Hello to everyone here....I am a 28 year old daughter of an alcoholic that is dying from end stage liver disease and uncontrolled encepholapathy. He will not stop drinking, still smokes two packs a day and is out of his mind. Though I have lived with his drinking my entire life, it was only in the last year and a half that we started to notice dramatic changes in his moods, behaviors and overall health. My dad can no longer hold a normal conversation. He usually remains silent after questions, or changes the subject. He repeats himself. We find him crawling around on the floor even when he has not had a drop. He no longer leaves the house. He is overwhelmed by simple tasks and has mood swings that will give you whiplash. My mother has detached herself long ago, though they are still married they only see each other on weekends as she works five hours away. My brother is 25 and an alcoholic himself. He goes months without talking to us and cannot accept my fathers illness. My mom is content to allow my dad to stay living by himself and is in no hurry no matter how much research I bring to her or tell her that we need to intervene. I do not think my dad should be alone anymore, but no one will help me. I am trying to be respectful of my mother but her lack of concern is driving me mad. I am terrified that my dad will fall into a coma and die alone. My dad is better in the morning but sick in the afternoon, but my mom thinks he is fine because he can still talk. I have worked in healthcare for 12 years and know far too much to just sit here and wait for him to die. He will not quit drinking. But I dont want him to suffer. I am really struggling with this and would appreciate some advice from people with experience in this area. Thanks guys.

Hi, Blueeyes.  I looked at your original post to remind myself of your dad's problems.  He has hep C and has had no treatment for it, correct?  As long as he continues to drink, there is really nothing anyone can do to help him.  Your mom does have the right to remove herself from the situation, both physically and emotionally.  I opted to do that with my own mother.  I don't even know if Lactulose would help with the encephalopathy as long as he continues to drink.  He probably doesn't see a doctor on a regular basis, nor would he want to be followed by a hepatologist, as he knows they will tell him he has to stop drinking.

I really don't know what to tell you except to take care of yourself in all this.  I saw that you posted in the Caregiver's forum, which is good.  You will find others there in the same circumstances.

Hugs,

Connie

ditto