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dad coming home for pallative care

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Posted 10/27/2010 11:40 AM (GMT 0)
hello everybody ..dad has passed the 24 hr crisis an he is holding his own.However they have said th edoctors it is only a matter of days or 2 to 3 weeks,as his kidneys an lungs are failing.I am sure you will remember the problem with my mum who is in denial.After the doctors told me an my sister last night that they would not be giving any more medical intervention an he could come home to be cared for by hospice nurses,we had to tell mum.This was awfull she cried an blamed everyone including receptionist at the local gp surgery.We were just with her an we let her cry,she said she does want him home ,so we are moving furniture today,to make way for the bed that hospice brings to mums home.Dad is still talking in between falling into sleep,an i think he knows what is happening,an he is worried about our mum.This has got to be one of the worst things i have been through in my life,watvhing mum go through the nightmare of dads death,that we know is coming.mum is worried she is going to see him die an she is with him,i know that is an irrational thought becauce of him coming home to do just that.Nurses will be coming in,through the night as well,it will be very hard for all of cource. i will keep you informed,i did not want dad to go into a home an neither did mum,but i think she will find this hard, to watch him at home. rambling now so i will go an update you soon. spooky
Posted 10/27/2010 12:40 PM (GMT 0)
My heart goes out to you and your family. Be strong and just hang in there.As we say that god knows best.
Posted 10/27/2010 12:42 PM (GMT 0)
there is no one answer to what should happen... just honoring your mom and dad's requests... your mom... maybe can be out of your dad's room.. I know that Mike was very afraid the last five months... and we got through it together... I had and have no answers other than... I just told him... I'm here and whatever comes we'll do it together... especially when he was afraid of dying...though I wanted to run... I needed to pace myself... and all of the anxiety... and I sure didn't want him to leave... but we eased our way one day at a time through the end days of his life...pace urself... calm urself... honor requests...ramble... cry.. do whatever u need to do...take care of urself... be thinking about the next steps and any things that need to be done or decisions that may need to be made... one step at a time... easy does it... and yes it is hard traumatic... and there is a huge hole...but there is a way through the mess... one day at a time..
Posted 10/27/2010 2:55 PM (GMT 0)
Spooky, I can totally relate too you. We brought my dad home one month ago to die. He has drastically went down hill within the last 2 weeks. We had home hospice bring in a bed yesterday. It is very hard. I feel sad, scared, and frustrated! I get to feeling bad because he is so confused and doing all kinds of crazy things and then fights me and I get so agrravated at him. and I know he cant help it but I still get so frustrated at him. I find myself saying LORD take him home! Because I just dont know how much more I can do this. Thank God I do have support, and I hope n pray you do too~ it is a MUST! We hate to see our loved ones like this. I also worry about the day I find him n pray my kids are not here. We have 3 kids in the home, n that brings on a whole other issue I m dealing with. I want to be here for dad but Im also missing all my kids activities . Will anyone be staying with your mom n dad? I pray Gods blessings to you & your family!
Posted 10/27/2010 6:43 PM (GMT 0)

Spooky, have the hospice nurses there as much as possible.  It will be a big help.  It sounds like your mom is finally accepting the reality.  Her reaction is normal.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 10/27/2010 10:22 PM (GMT 0)
thankyou another trying day today at the hospital,dad is still holding his own.we left mum an dad together today an she seemed more at peace when she came out.The hospice nurse came to see him an told him how it would be ,an that he hadnt to worry about anything,an when the time comes he would be probably moved to the hospice,where it would be peacefull an all his needs would be met.He seems to have accepted this. I also dont want to deal with practical matters an funeral arrangements just at moment,its all going round in my head,i dont want to listen when friends are telling me to start looking round for funeral directors an to sort out money matters. I think if i start to do all these things it is real,i just want dad home an being looked after. thanks for listening spooky
Posted 10/28/2010 2:03 AM (GMT 0)
yep one moment at a time... my heart is with u today... prayers too Sandi
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