My name is Sandi... His name is Mike.... this is our story.. I was thrown into this forum in the midst of trauma and drama of his illness and decline... so there are many details left from that story... and many I have not been able to put to pen because of my emotional pain... which is dulled but ever there...
Mike and I were from two completely different sides of the world... I was raised in an orphanage... he in a large hispanic family... I was always sober... he had been quite a drinker... I had a college education... he was a construction worker...
I left the orphanage and married at 17 ... had four daughters... was beaten abused and abandoned by the father of the girls... with one late blooming child left... and one with disabilities at that... I had to leave the work force for awhile and take care of her solely.... eventually I began to work construction out of the local temp agency to supplement our income. and then went full time working concrete and roofing.. out of the temp agency...
it was there that my eyes were opened to the homeless, mentally ill, and people who were living on the edge of life...but our lives were fine...we had a roof, groceries, and each other...
then one day... one of the men at work began to harass me and make every day a living hell...and this day in particular... he stood up and threatened me.... then it happened...
Mike stood in the way... told the guy to back down... and introduced himself... well for me it was instant love... instant heroe worship... and that feeling never quit ever... Mike had been sitting in the corner for two months quietly... because he is normally quiet... but would not be quiet when I was in trouble..
Mike and I went on to work concrete together... roof together... and began a life together with my daughter... working for a private construction company... I knew Mike had Hep C... I didn't know what I was getting into...early in the relationship he started drinking heavily... I told him I would not live like that and he had a choice... my daugher and I had been through so much at that point and I would not expose her to that... he became sober...over the next couple years... Mike's health deteriorated....he was yellow... eyes sunk in... belly swollen... and then he began to vomit blood everywhere until the point that one of these episodes landed him in the ER and then he had a TIPs operation to divert the blood from or around the liver...it worked for years...five all together...I retired from construction and went into carretaking for people with mental health issues on the night shift so I could take care of Mike and my daughter and work also.. I averaged 2 hours of sleep a day and cared for the two of them...Mike, Victoria and I did fine until Mike's brother Steve who was diagnosed with ESLD and Hepc died from liver cancer...although Steve had been sober for five years... the disease caught up to him and at the point of liver transplant.... undetected cancer was found in his liver... and he died... at the transplant center...this threw Mike into an emotional twirl... he was seeing Steve's fate as his own.... he said...and he began to binge...with some help from a friend and an intervention... Mike agian got back on track... but at this point...the binging had undone much of what the TIPs had helped...and began the beginning of the last two years of his life...Mike and I travelled from specialist to specialist...he underwent... drainings... ultrasounds... MRIs... trip to the U of Minnesota ... and finally to the Mayo Clinic where they said there was nothing they could do... though he knew at this point it didn't matter ... he wasn't getting a transplant... Mike maintained his sobriety and faced the end of his trail sober and squarely in the face...we did it togther... with love for each other... God's grace...and the help of this forum..and i can not minimize the help of my 16 year old who adored Mike... as he adored her...Mike was a quiet reserved man... who rarely spoke his piece but with my daughter he was all words...he watched Sponge Bob with her... of all things...along the trail here...and even now I have shared pieces... but one can not... under the burden of losing someone so close to his/her heart remember some of the important things..details... timelines... today are lost to me... but Mike is forever in my heart and my daughter's heart... he gave us something special... and for a woman who had a lifetime of physical and mental abuse... he taught me I was worthy to be treated with love and respect...he gave me..... me... he gave Victoria a dad....and in the end... we helped him... find Mike...and make his peace with God before he finished the long trail home...