new member.

Hi every one.  This is the first time I have every been on a forum.  I'm still trying to figure it all out.  I'm in my fifty's, have a wonderful job that I love, two wonderful son's and an awesome grandson.  I will be married for 37 years to a man I love very much.  Unfortunately, he has begun to drink very heavily since his retirement and I don't know if our marriage can take the strain of his verbal abruse. His brain doesn't seem to work like it use to.  Not sure what to do.  B

I can't get him to go to a doctor. He just sits at the table in the dark opening can after can of beer. If I say anything to him, he starts to swear and mumble all kinds of things. My husband will repeat the same comment over and over until I want to scream for him to just stop. He has become quite forgetful and I do believe he is having black outs. He does know he is drinking to much but can't seem to stop and frankly, I don't think he wants to stop. I'm looking into Al-anon because I just don't know what else to do.

Hi, Peachpie, and welcome to the forum.  There are quite a few people here who have the same problem (or have had it) with their hubbies.  As Arneeb/Sandi remarked, we need more information to answer your questions.  However, it does sound like your husband may be experiencing some hepatic encephalopathy due to his drinking.  He also sounds depressed.  This sometimes happens when people retire and have nothing to do and no real interests.  You should not allow him to verbally abuse you.  Get out for a short walk if you have to.

It's very important for you to take care of yourself in all this, and Al-Anon is a good start.

Hugs,

Connie

Peachpie,
Does he drink all day long, or just in the evenings? Can you tell that it is worse at night? My husband was never a day drinker, but when 5:00 came, it started. There was a major difference in him after that. He wasn't verbally abusive, but wasn't always nice either. The heavy drinking seemed to push him into what we call the "hepatic encepalopathy mode", which is when it starts affecting their brain and their memory. The "black outs" as you describe also sound all too familiar. The blank stares like the mind is not ticking, the slurred speech, etc....they all get worse as they drink more. But when he did not drink, it was not there...Not sure what your situation is, but just thought I'd share mine with you.....
The more info you can give, the more help you can receive here...
Take care of you too!