hubby thinks he is terminator

Natasha.... Ive been there.. holdin on when you think you can go no more... lovin him... when everyone thinks ... you should walk away... cuz he did this to himself... even though Mike was sober at the end... I've been there... in the middle of the night... with the cryin... the depression.. and then the happy highs...out there on the edge of life... where no one seems to know what to say or how to help... and it's you ... this person .... you don't know anymore... and the feelings you have that gyrate up and down... questioning yourself... your loved one... the doctors... and God as you see Him/Her... then you catch a breath and the next tidal wave of information or experience hits you...the desperate wish for it all to be "normal" again... and then the silent wish for it to be over again.... and that roller coaster plays over and over and over... I found my sanity.. in my faith... this forum... sent by God I believe... and honestly.... in the moments that Mike and I could find our bond again... but it's a nightmare... to walk through... at least it was for me... sometimes a person holds on even when its by your fingernails.... and they are bleeding to the nubs... my heart is with you.... prayers too... Sandi