Caregivers Sharing Thread - renewed #3

I think each person is on his own journey. And that journey is that person’s business.

Mike can’t drink at all.  He is an alcoholic and he has liver disease.  Period end.  AA has saved his life.

From time to time, I have a glass of wine.  I choose when and where.  And I allow others to do as they please as well.

There is alcohol in our home from time to time. He does not sneak at all. 

I never have a glass when it is just us. 

If we have guests, we offer adult beverages.   Or they may bring what they prefer.

Friends who would pressure you do that which is uncomfortable for you are not true friends. 

However, we don’t expect our family or acquaintances to play by our playbook.  They do as they please.  I expect everyone who comes here will be respectful of Mike’s choices.  Not abstain, but to put NO pressure on him to break his promise to himself.

Interesting enough, however, we had old friends here at the beginning of the month we had not seen in 2 years.  We have travelled with these folks and had dinners and holidays at each other’s homes many many times.  And there have been many cocktails and bottles of wine together over the years.  The night they were here, HE brought in a bottle of his favorite whiskey.  SHE and Mike had nothing, and I had A glass of wine.  HE got slurry tongued on what seemed like 2 before dinner cocktails. SHE and Mike were stone cold sober.  SHE was embarrassed as HE got a little rambunctious…over emphasizing his political or social views to be precise (we disagree 100% on those type topics).  Maybe in the old days, we all got a little rambunctious.  Probably.  Conservative Southerners v. Liberal Yanks. Though we are best of friends!!!

Mike commented after they left, “Gosh…was I THAT BAD???”

And, of course, the answer was,  “ YES.  OFTEN!!!!”

He was horrified.  Now that he has been so sick, he also knows, first hand. what happens to a liver full of Hep C and alcohol…and it’s not pretty!

Carol

Emphasis on the WHAT SEEMED LIKE.  He may very well have started before he got to your place.  Either that or his liver is damaged so he is showing effects of  alcohol intoxication sooner.  My mother was like that eventually.  She'd get drunk on 2 cans of beer.

Hugs,

Connie

   My husband has been sober for 26 years and he had all kinds of good ole buddies when he drank and when the booze dried up so did they!!  This has been a tough subject for us for years.  Neither of us drink alcohol at all...I never cared for it...I just never had a taste for it.  I didn't realize my husband had a problem with alcohol till we had been married for about 6 months.  He had issues with it and thank goodness a doctor told him he needed to quit as his liver levels were high, so he quit.

We don't have a problem being around people who drink or have it in their own homes but we don't want it in ours.  We use to have all kinds of so called friends but when my husband quit drinking we weren't fun anymore....

My husband is from an alcoholic family and boy do we feel like the outcast....my husband has lost 3 brothers to alcohol and a father as well.  I agree that it's the person not the alcohol.  If you know you have a problem with it then is shouldn't be a part of your life.

My mother in law drinks....she has two children left my husband who doesn't drink and a daughter who does.  She doesn't respect my husband not drinking and she bring a mixed drink in a container over for holiday dinners at our house thinking we don't know what's in it....You can smell it a mile away...I do believe it's an individual thing and you have to go with what you feel is right for you...respect is a big thing though it's not easy staying sober and being around it is hard on some...

The information that was told to us by a dietitian in a transplant class was that post-transplant there should be no cooking with alcohol, including real vanilla extract which has a high percentage of alcohol in it.  I like to make cookies at Christmas using real vanilla.  I'm thinking that at one year post-transplant (if all is going well) I may do that again.  Imitation vanilla just isn't the same.  I tried it one year to save money, and the results were definitely not as good.

I don't cook with alcohol or have it in the house, so that won't be a problem.  However, I do feel that we receive transplants so we can live longer, and have to question if we are really living if we have to strictly adhere to all the restrictions for the rest of our lives.  Quality over quantity and a little room to breathe is important to me.  I can't imagine that using vanilla once a year is going to kill me.

Hugs,

Connie

Emma, have a wonderful trip!  PG and I will keep an eye on the Caregivers thread, as we are able.  Others can also bump it by posting a new reply. 

Emma, thanks very much for the links.

Debbie, we were told that the alcohol will only burn completely off with high temps and most recipes will not call for enough heat to do this.  I haven't cooked with alcohol (except vanilla for Christmas cookies) in the 25 yrs. I've been sober.  You can bet that vanilla extract has a large amount of alcohol in it.  I remember trying a couple of sips of vanilla when I was an inquisitive 10-year-old.  I was just going through the cupboards.  I remember that I liked the feeling the vanilla gave me.  Perhaps that was the real start to my alcoholism.

Hugs,

Connie

That and you don't have the alcoholic gene and don't have an addictive personality.

We've highjacked the thread...need to give it back to the caregivers.

Hugs,

Connie

Post Edited (MamaLama) : 6/30/2011 6:25:03 PM (GMT-6)