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My sister didn't make it

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Posted 10/8/2011 5:12 AM (GMT 0)
Just when everything started to come together...My sister finally got approved for Medicaid and Medicare. Her kidneys had improved so much that she was off dialysis for weeks now. She established a relationship with a primary doctor. Started AA. 4 mths of sobriety. Getting blood work 3 times a week. Then BAM, just like that.... she's gone. She went to the er with abdominal pain weds night and they admitted her. First thing Thurs. they tapped her to test the fluid. Doctor said she had Spontaneous bacterial peritonitis and sepsis. By afternoon she was heavily sedated and on a ventilator. They were maxed out on the medicine they could give her to raise her bp and it was falling fast. I got there right after they put the ventilator in and I stayed until the very end. She passed away at 3:30 am last night/morning. I'm grateful for the time I had with her and that I got to take care of her the last 5 mths. Our entire family was with her as she passed. She almost made it to her 39th birthday. She fought a good fight. The infection just took over and sent her into multi-organ failure. I never knew anything could hurt my heart so bad like this. Sometimes I feel ok and then it's like a wave of sadness washes over me. It takes my breath away. Is this normal? I wish I could have said I love you. I wish I could have said goodbye. Thank you all for the support you have given me since I joined this board. I hope things turn out better for you and your loved ones.
Posted 10/8/2011 5:51 AM (GMT 0)

Oh, Mikmouse, I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister.  And just when things were coming together for her.  At least she died sober and you know that you did all you possibly could.

I know you will need support during this time of grief and perhaps for quite awhile.  We now have a grief thread and I encourage you to make use of it.  You will be able to express your emotions and get much-needed support.  Look for it on our main page.

Again, I'm very sorry to learn of this sad news.

Big hugs,

Connie

Posted 10/8/2011 6:29 AM (GMT 0)
Mikmouse-I am sorry to hear about the passing of your sister. Your love for her was evident in your posts. I am sure that your sister knew how much you loved her by all the care you gave her. Prayers for you at this sad time.
Emma
Posted 10/8/2011 12:44 PM (GMT 0)
MM--such sad news this morning. That sepsis can move quickly. Please feel free to post with us often...I am so sorry. Carol
Posted 10/8/2011 1:00 PM (GMT 0)
Mikmouse,

  So sorry to read about your sister this morning.  We should all be so lucky to have family around us and taking care of us at the end like your sister.  I will light a candle today for her...(I think cinnamon aroma..somehow I feel she would like cinnamon) to help light her way on her journey.  Mikmouse, I think the waves of sadness that take your breath away are normal.  Waves of pain..the ebb and flo of sadness.

I hope you stay with the forum and post on our grief thread.  Thinking of you today.  Can't imagine the pain of losing my sisters.

Angie1953

Posted 10/8/2011 2:03 PM (GMT 0)
My husband had gotten sepsis and went to multi organ failure just a few weeks ago ...his future seemed very grim but he fought it and recieved transplant on the 27 th but I.was aware that his outcome probably won't be good ..things happen so fast with this disease but it was good that you and your family could be there in her last days ....just know she in a better place and in no pain ...I can't imagine losing my sister either and I know this has to be hard on you ..and the waves of saddness is normal ....I'm sure you will never get over her lost .....she's your sister ..we have such close bonds with ...your sister knows you loved her so much ...you stuck by her side ....you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers during this hard time ...please come back and post when you can
Posted 10/8/2011 3:12 PM (GMT 0)
Mikmouse,

So very sorry to hear your sister passed.  I'm sure she knew you loved her.  So sad that she was on the right path doing what she was supposed to and for you all to be side swiped by an infection.

Hugs and love to you and your family,

Posted 10/9/2011 6:07 PM (GMT 0)
So sorry for your loss... at first it's like walking through a time warp... reality just isn't what u have always known it to be... and it never quite is the same... over time... the pain... dulls... but comes back in waves during holidays... birthdays etc..... a year and a half later... my heart aches every day... someday ... possibly... I will wake without the pain.... but I function... and move forward... missing my Mike every day... every minute... everyone grieves differently... my faith has been essential for my path ... my prayers are with you are your family.... Sandia
Posted 10/10/2011 2:18 PM (GMT 0)
Mikmouse,

  Wondering about you today and how it is going?  Keep in touch.  Even if you just write to vent...that's ok, too.  We are all thinking about you as well deal with our loved ones and this disease.

Angie1953

Posted 10/10/2011 3:55 PM (GMT 0)
Mikmouse,
I am so sorry to hear this. I just logged on and wanted to say I am very sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.
Posted 10/10/2011 5:32 PM (GMT 0)
((( Mikmouse)),  I am so sorry for your loss. 

Lot's of thoughts and prayers........

Posted 10/11/2011 8:45 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you for kind words. It really does mean a lot. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond....I've been so busy getting everything ready for the funeral tomorrow (well today now). I miss my sister. It's so hard to come to terms with the fact that she's gone forever. I've never lived more than 10 min away from her my entire life. I'm terrified of the funeral tomorrow but I'm going to try to be strong just like my sister was.
Posted 10/11/2011 2:54 PM (GMT 0)
Sending thoughts of strength and hope you
Angie1953
Posted 10/13/2011 3:04 AM (GMT 0)
Mikmouse,

  Thought of you today and hope all went as ok as possible for your sister's funeral. Hope all were able to celebrate her life and how much she meant to you all.  We are burning a incense candle for her this evening.

Angie1953

Posted 10/13/2011 1:48 PM (GMT 0)

arneeb said...
So sorry for your loss... at first it's like walking through a time warp... reality just isn't what u have always known it to be... and it never quite is the same... over time... the pain... dulls... but comes back in waves during holidays... birthdays etc..... a year and a half later... my heart aches every day... someday ... possibly... I will wake without the pain.... but I function... and move forward... missing my Mike every day... every minute... everyone grieves differently... my faith has been essential for my path ... my prayers are with you are your family.... Sandia

I keep wondering if it really gets better or is that something people just say to try to make you feel better. Now I know...I don't think I've ever heard someone explain it so clearly. I'm sorry for your loss as well.
Posted 10/13/2011 1:58 PM (GMT 0)

Angie1953 said...
Mikmouse,
Thought of you today and hope all went as ok as possible for your sister's funeral. Hope all were able to celebrate her life and how much she meant to you all. We are burning a incense candle for her this evening.

Angie1953

Thank you. My sister had a wonderful turn out. It just proves how many lives she touched in her 38 years. We were lucky enough to have a preacher that we both went to middle and high school with do her service. It was nice because he was able to share his memories of my sister as well. Her super loud belly laugh is what everyone seemed to love about her the most. Her laugh was contagious. It was so difficult to say goodbye but I carry her in my heart and she's always on my mind. Thank you for thinking of us and for burning a candle. You are very kind.
Posted 10/13/2011 2:05 PM (GMT 0)
Such a sad day for family.

It sounds like the service was really nice.

Be sure to stick around and post on our grievance thread.  Many folks get a lot of support from others who have had to deal with loss of a loved one to liver disease.

Hugs,

Carol

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