Hello Jessie , What your describing of your father sounds like he has liver disease . As you mentioned you pretty much know that . I would imagine they are treating him with Aldactone and other pills to reduce the swelling or fluid build up ( Ascites ) . Rarely does this disease not cause Encephalopathy when a person reaches the point you are describing and that usually takes Lactulose ( Synthetic Sugar ) and a drug called Xifaxan to keep him sane .
You'll have to convince him to let you have access to his medical records in order to see what the actual diagnosis is and what stage of the disease he's in . Do you know if he has a Gastro doctor or a Hepatologist ? It usually takes a referral to see a Hepatologist but that will be his only hope if he wants to live . The Hepatologist will take a small sample of his liver tissue and analyze it to determine how far gone his liver is , At that point a plan of action can be put in place to get him on a list for transplant if needed .
The biggest obstacle at this point is his drinking . Doctors will do very little if he continues to attempt suicide via alcohol . Most places that I know of require 6 months of documented sobriety through AA or counseling ( Therapy ) before they will begin to take any serious actions about transplantation . To some extent I'm sure you dad knows this and is blindly hoping he will just get better and continue to drink , That's alcoholic rational . My guess is he will continue once he leaves the hospital again . We just recently had one of dearest members lose her brother in the same set of circumstances . She lived near her brother and still couldn't sway him from drinking himself to death . He remained defiant till the end and died at the age of 43 I believe .
A suggestion if I may ? Can you take some vacation days along with a weekend and go have a face to face with him about your fears ? Tell him you want to help but are useless without any knowledge of his medical records . Try to find out what he wants ? Is it to die alone or live . I was in far worse shape than your father and drank every bit as much as he when I was admitted into the hospital . If it wasn't for the fact that I could no longer function and near death I probably wouldn't have gone myself . I hated hospitals and a lot of it had to do with the fact that I may be confronted about my alcohol abuse . Doctors know what jaundice is and they know what causes those spider veins on his face , The red glow on his face , Distended belly , trembling hands and so on .
Ask yourself , as you are the only one who knows him . Is he capable of letting the bottle go ? Then ask yourself one more question . Am I capable of taking care of him if he worsens with or without alcohol in his life . It can take years to undo the damage he may have done and even then his liver wont ever recover fully . You may have to commit to moving or putting him in a home for awhile . That's the reality of this disease . If his liver is still reasonably functioning and he refrains from drinking and starts living better now he might be able to avoid any of this .
A. Ziffle