HELP..am I nuts?

Connie I get what you mean about that. Now that I look back on it I can remember a certain point in time that I was just suddenly out of energy and couldn't seem to accomplish anything. I had always worked hard in physically demanding jobs and ended up quitting because of back problems. I started a home business and it was starting to do pretty well but suddenly I just couldn't keep up with it. I felt terrible because I knew I should be doing better and making more money but I would find myself just sitting all day unable to get up and do anything. about a year ago we got into a family tiff over a property sale, and my husbands family said some very hurtful things about me being lazy and self entitled and not being willing to work. It really upset me that they thought that about me because I had worked so hard when I was younger. Just today I thought of that and wondered if they have any idea now that I was sick at the time and how hard I struggled to do what I could. I just try to put things like that behind me, but now that I know I am sick these things keep popping into my head of all my failures that I blamed myself for because I didn't know what was wrong with me.

Post Edited (denverdoni) : 7/18/2013 12:36:25 AM (GMT-6)

Spitfire, I kind of thought you might be "a friend of Bill's." Me, too, and I credit AA and my HP with my sobriety. So many of those classic sayings are spot on and have helped me through many a hard time.

I can relate to doni. I was a very hard worker, very reliable. I kept pushing myself, despite the fatigue. Once I got a diagnosis, I felt like I could finally relax some. I went to P/T work. I'm sure some (like my hubby at the time) thought I was just lazy, but it worked for me. I continued P/T work for the next 11 out of 12 yrs. I had to adjust to having less and doing less, but I knew I could not continue working as long and as hard as I had all my life. It was hard to accept, but I knew I had a legitimate reason.

Hugs,
Connie

My husband is being very supportive too and I know I can count on him. Unfortunately we have both been depressed for a while because we moved 1000 miles away from our kids and grandkids after he lost his job 2 years ago. I had an opportunity to come back to IL and work with my parents and he didn't really have any prospects in Denver. After we had been here a while we realized that it was a huge mistake and we are terribly homesick. Now with me being sick we feel trapped here because of needing his health insurance. That is why I am going to start therapy next week to try to work out some of these issues. My oldest is a serious alcoholic and she has always been one to dump all her problems on me but won't take responsibility for changing anything. I have been putting up with it for so many years, and just feel like I was stuck on stupid because I kept thinking I could help her fix things. I went to visit the kids a couple weeks ago and she was a total drunk and treated me pretty bad. Since I quit drinking I guess I really got my eyes opened and this time I finally stood up to her. Now she is only allowed to call me if she is sober and has something positive to say. And she has actually been sticking to that!

The truth is I am actually feeling better right now than I have in a long time. Just quitting drinking and not eating meat and including a lot of the liver "superfoods" in my diet has had an amazing effect already. There are a lot of symptoms I had before that are almost gone and my mind is a lot clearer. I truly believe that by October when I go for my next labs my numbers are going to be improved. I know I have a lot more bridges to cross, like finding a doc who will treat my hep c, but at least today I am feeling more positive.

Hi denverdoni, thanks so much. I was in such shock over this, it all seemed to happen at once(although have had this possibly for decades)..my doc put me on 10mg of Prozac. Honestly I don't notice a difference? I like you, try the self talk. It is very strange how 1 day I can go all day & the next day need to lay down a lot?? Hard to make any plans? Keep up the happy thoughts :)

Good morning! Connie, making it all day means i don't sleep for 2 hours in the afternoon:)) i am so new to this, every morning I wake up & think..."I" got this..well we all know this isn't mind over matter. Went off Prozac & back on Nortriptylin..YES!!! That helps a lot with joint/back pain..not so sure I am a depressed person?? I have always went along with doctors have said, now I do a lot of research on my own! God bless google! Honestly I am so happy to be out of pain I may celebrate ;)). Peace