Relationships and hep b

I pretty much gave up on relationships when I was diagnosed last summer after donating blood for the first time. Long story short, mum has hep b and never told me about it; passed it onto me at birth and I've lived 22 years without knowing. Contacted last two LTRs and they're both immune and healthy. I have a lot of pent up anger and disappointment towards my mum, but that is a story for another day.

I did my first "talk" with a guy that I've gone on a couple dates with last week. I was absolutely terrified but I gave him the facts, told him about the vaccine and printed out things from Health Canada for him to look over. I told him to take the time and think about it; he has my number and he can stay in contact if he likes or I just won't hear from him anymore. He called a couple days later and said he did want to keep seeing me (Wednesday) and we'll be seeing each other Saturday if he doesn't change his mind.

This just feels exhausting. Sex is pretty much built into dating on day 1 in this society. Before I knew about having hep b it was tinder, meet up, ongoing sex. Now I have to step hard on the brakes then make up some stupid crap about wanting to get to know them more, have a couple more dates then tell them about my situation. Honestly, meeting people isn't hard, but meeting those that still want to get together after I've told them my situation is probably going to be few and far between (none). On the worse days I feel like I'm not loveable. I know it's not true because I have amazing friends that know about my hep and are would do anything for me. But on the relationship front I just feel like giving up.

I would never, ever want to knowingly jump in bed with someone even with a condom without telling them my situation. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did transmit it to them. Some days I feel like the walking plague. Any advice?

I've seen numbers in the US press that say 3 million people are infected with a relative of Hep B...namely Hep C...most who don't know it yet. And other experts say that number is grossly understated and could be as many as 10 million, especially baby boomers who just didn't know any better. And those folks certainly don' t know yet....until there is mandatory testing for everyone. And those folks are going about having relationships all over the place. Folks have herpes, HIV, many common STDs, etc. Many who don't know. Casual sex as you describe can be complicated for EVERYONE. And care should always be taken with multiple partners who have muptiple partners. I think candid conversation is warranted in all cases.

I recall a time my son came to me and said that he quite liked a gal but they had both been with multiple partners and wanted to be "tested" and perhaps "treated" before starting to have a sexual relationship with each other...but the tests were expensive for students. We helped out. They were both fine. Evidently they felt that their relationship was special. And they were pretty young. I thought that was very mature.

I am sorry that this is your truth. My partner had Hep C from 1969 until 2014. We did not know when we met and moved in together (1981). Hep C is rarely transmitted sexually...it is a blood to blood transfer. He was diagnosed in the mid 90s when Non A Non B Hep was finally identified as something unique. We were told to use condoms, but did not...cat out of the barn so to say...we did have me tested...often. And I remain Hep C free after all these years. We were, and remain, careful about sharing toothbrushes, razors, straws, glasses, treating each others wounds (we have a box of surgi-gloves on the kitchen counter.) We don't use the same sink and never share a bar of soap. Kinda nuts...but there is where the blood is.

There are treatments for Hep B that is active, but no cure. I think being candid is perfect. I wonder how many partners of yours have had this or that issue and NOT been candid! Wouldn't you rather they had been?

Best to you,

MamaLama