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Posted 4/26/2008 6:26 PM (GMT 0)
Hey everyone,I hope everyone is well,one of my big problems are not being able to go out after a meal,when I'm done eating a meal it never settles well to where I am able to go out when I want.I always stay in and chill knowing that I wont be able to go out after eating.I would love to be able to just eat and if I need to go out for something feel comfortable with my food digesting well without it giving me gas,or needing to have a bowel movement or the runs.Would digestive enzymes work what are the best ones out there?,please let me know or do I just need to have small meals.I would appreciate the feedback I hope everyone stays well and take care.
Posted 4/27/2008 1:37 AM (GMT 0)
I have trouble with this too. If my husband and I are having dinner with other people or another couple, dinner is our only outing. Soon after, I prefer going home. If I remain out (after dinner drinks, live music, etc.) I am stuck in the bathroom for a while. So I try not to mix the two - socializing without a meal. Or just the meal and then my trick is to eat very, very light. Everyone at the table is talking, eating, drinking, that they don't even notice I'm hardly eating. I take most of my dinner home. If anyone asks - oh you didn't order a salad (ala carte) or you're not eating much, I fib and say I'm not hungry or I had a large lunch. I also intentionally use the bathroom, to take up more time while everyone is eating. By the time they're done and the waitress is asking if we want dessert, I ask for a doggie bag. I have discovered that most people don't even notice I eat like this (or to be technical, not eating!). Certainly not my family, they're used to it.

But I honestly prefer socializing without meals. Cocktail parties work great because no one ever knows if I ate or not! I again, I fib and say oh I'm not hungry (when I really am but I won't take the chance and eat, like I used to before all of this started, etc.).

I know my doctor would say to take and Immodium and enjoy life. His exact words. But I find that not eating works best for me. I just make sure I have had a good breakfast and lunch that day, then I eat good the next day.

Sometimes I just order from the sides part of the menu also - salad and baked potato. If anyone asks why you're ordering so little to eat, just say you're not that hungry.

In times like these, I firmly believe people don't want details and it is flat-out okay to fabricate the truth!

Wishing you luck with this.

Mary/Marsky
Posted 4/27/2008 2:58 AM (GMT 0)
I have crohns but I have this problem a lot too. However, I found that a lot of it is anticipatory anxiety. I am thinking I am going to get sick so I make myself sick. I have found it really awkward to eat at another couple's house and then just sit in and watch a movie in silence with them. The apartment was small so the bathroom wasn't very private. Their food gave me gas and I was trying not to let it out thus getting an ouchy stomach. I prefer going to resturants and then bar hopping after (but I don't drink). There it is loud so no one hears my belly or farts. There are tons of people so no one guesses that I am the stinky one. People are constantly wandering off to play music, get a drink, or dance, so no one notices how many trips to the bathroom I take. After a few successful after dinner outings I found that any outing got easier. My brain was remembering the good trips instead of the bad ones. Hope that helps!
Posted 4/27/2008 7:00 AM (GMT 0)

jtaurus said...
Hey everyone,I hope everyone is well,one of my big problems are not being able to go out after a meal,when I'm done eating a meal it never settles well to where I am able to go out when I want.I always stay in and chill knowing that I wont be able to go out after eating.I would love to be able to just eat and if I need to go out for something feel comfortable with my food digesting well without it giving me gas,or needing to have a bowel movement or the runs.Would digestive enzymes work what are the best ones out there?,please let me know or do I just need to have small meals.I would appreciate the feedback I hope everyone stays well and take care.

Wow.  I could have written this post myself.  It is the MOST frustrating part of IBS for me.  There are absolutely NO activities after a meal.  Even if I am not gripped with D cramps, I will be bent in half from gas and the urge to go.  It is always painful.  There is never a time I feel comfortable or "normal" after I eat.

My method of dealing with this is to avoid all food UNTIL I am in for the night.  It's certainly not an ideal approach but I've been doing this for over 20 years and at this point, even when I've tried to eat smaller meals during the day, I end up completely incapacitated.  I guess if I didn't need to leave my house for a month, I could give it a try and see if I can adjust my digestive system.  They should have a digestive rehab center for people like us!

My son informed me that his wedding (on July the 4th 2009) will not start until 6:30 in the evening and will stretch on into the "wee" hours so that we can all see the dopey fireworks.  The venue they have chosen is a boat that sits docked on Lake Union in Seattle.  I recently found out the boat has only one bathroom for a capacity of 200 people.

I am already completely freaked by the whole scenario.  I was hoping they would plan an afternoon wedding so I could refrain from food until it was over and I was home, safe by my favorite room.  Oh well....

Posted 4/27/2008 1:23 PM (GMT 0)
Oh my gutastrophe - not to add to your worries, but I'd be a little freaked out at that too! What would I do.....well, like you I would not eat that day. No way, no how. Second, I'd do an enema 2 days before. An enema really cleans me out and gives me about 3 to 4 good days where I almost feel normal again (pre-rectal cancer, colon resection days). The stool is formed and not that frequent. But this good period doesn't last long. Then the day before the wedding I would eat lightly but foods that agree with you (I'd choose bananas, vanilla flavored yogurt, white rice or mashed potatoes). Then the day of, eat very, very lightly again. Perhaps half an english muffin or bagel, or one slice of toast, a small bowl of plain cereal (Cheerios or Special K comes to mind). Then I would not eat until the day after this wedding. I would however keep my fluids up - non-alcoholic of course. If handed a glass of champagne or wine, I'd barely sip it. And dispose of it when no one is looking. I can't believe there is only 1 bathroom either! That's not right....in a perfect world, every public facility would have one stall for every oh 10-20 people. LOL

Fitzy - another way to look at how you feel after dining out. I would be freaking out having to sit quietly in someone's home, trying to get thru a movie. In that case, going out to a loud club would be a better fit. Like you, I know I have passed gas in loud establishments, all I do is move quickly away. So someone else gets blamed for it (sorry to that innocent person!)......trouble is the clubs we go to offer only several stalls and since there's always a line, I prefer not eating, so I'm not trying up the stall.

My favorite bathrooms on the planet (except my cozy, comfortable powder room here at home) used to be rest-stops. Just rows and rows of stalls - Heaven sent. Now my favorite restrooms are casino's. We live near a state that has them, so while my husband plays a few hands of Black Jack, I hole up in the very nice bathroom (I have no fewer than say 20 to 30 stalls to choose from, oh thank you to the Casino Management!).....I never gamble and he plays for an hour. And I get a meal I don't have to cook. By the time he's done, I'm usually done in the bathroom and we go home (we do this twice a year).

First time I saw those rows of casino stalls, I told him I had found my favorite public bathrooms! If only restaurants and such offered many more stalls. Then we'd all be set, huh?

Mary/Marsky

Post Edited (Marsky) : 4/27/2008 7:26:19 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/27/2008 4:34 PM (GMT 0)

Marsky-thanks for the empathy!  Yes, it is one of those "nightmare" scenarios that keep us awake at night with worry!  It is over a year away so I have plenty of time to prepare.  I don't do enemas but I was planning on a thorough clean out with mag citrate a day or two before the wedding.  Unfortunately, even the tiniest bit of food that day will likely do me in so my best bet is to abstain completely and just pray I don't pass out.  If I can make it until at least 8:30 or 9:00, and I have to leave, I am sure they will understand.  They have really done NOTHING in the way of considering my comfort and I have to admit, I am a bit resentful.  I will keep it to myself, of course, since it is "their day".  But they've really made it hard for everyone.  Seattle on July the 4th is brutal and the boat is right in the heart of downtown, where the whole city congregates for this holiday.  Traffic will be horrific and parking impossible.  In addition, my family is travelling from the east to the west coast.  We all know what flying during a holiday weekend is like! 

I don't drink but man, I WISH I could!  Back in the day, when I could drink, I found it relaxed me and helped with the anxiety.  I will just have to rely on lots of prayer, which has served me well before!

I'm so impressed that you are "comfortable" in public restrooms with stalls.  I've never been able to overcome the "shame" of having fulminating explosions in bathrooms where someone is in the stall right beside mine.  Even if there is some degree of anonymity, I know I will emerge from the stall red-faced and obviously "guilty"!

I had to share this funny story, since you mentioned letting the gas fly and blaming it on others.

I had a little gathering at Christmas a few years back and some aquaintances were there with their two little boys, ages 5 and 8.  After the meal, I was overwhelmed with the most painful and aggressive gas, the kind that would typically horrify me even when I am alone in my own home!  I spent the majority of the evening running to the loo to pass the gas but after an hour of this, I finally decided to risk letting one go in the presence of my guests.  The fumes didn't seem "noxious" and I've mastered the "art" of passing gas in public to such an extent that I thought it would be safe.  Well, I did allow an "innocent" escape, and the next thing I knew the sound seemed to travel around the room and the odor was unmistakable!  My friend then grabbed her two little boys, pulled them off to the side, and started interrogating them to find out which one had dropped the bomb!  These poor little boys pleaded their innocence, while mama continued the grilling!  Finally, I felt so sorry for the kids that I pulled her aside and admitted my guilt!  I was BUSTED!  We laugh about it now but at the time, it was truly embarrassing!

Posted 4/27/2008 4:59 PM (GMT 0)
gut - that is so funny about the kids! How gutsy to own up!! You should double check the establishment yourself regarding that wedding. When they say 1 bathroom they may mean 1 room with multiple stalls. Also, there were only 2 toilets at my wedding for about 100 people. There was NEVER a line amazingly. Maybe you can work out a back up plan. For my wedding my back up plan was a staff bathroom. I had worked it out before hand with the staff. There may be another employees only toilet on the ship that could be reserved for you in an emergency. Also you could call some local businesses before hand (since you are worried about traffic) and find some places along the route that will allow you a pit stop. That should give you some piece of mind. Finally, get an anti-anxiety med! They help!
Posted 4/27/2008 6:57 PM (GMT 0)
gut - I'd also look for an employee only restroom. This is when I again fabricate the truth - people just assume you have a bladder problem and well, I let them think that! If you say what it really is, they are aghast people can go that much in one day. I just say as little as possible and they think one thing, while I do another. LOL

When I had cancer and my resection (after a temp ostomy), my then going into 4th and 7th grade daughters wanted to have a fun summer. I went on the low residue diet (which I still follow but I can sneak in other foods now), I had decided my goal would be to use any public bathroom. I've gone just about everywhere - the grocery store, mall, stores (Target's one of my favorite restrooms), of course McDonald's (not to eat, just you know....), once even a portalet. I prefer to use a bathroom with at least 3 stalls available. If I'm noisy, I flush early or cough. My ostomy nurse is really the one I credit with my courage. She said never to feel rushed and never apologize. Along with checking for plenty of TP (the very first thing I do before even sitting down). She is correct, we have every right to take a stall and use it as long as we need to. The only time I really freak out is if it's a single stall in a small establishment. We've had lunches at Subway when traveling but I will walk across the lot to use a larger restaurant's bathroom. Subways are known to offer only single stalls. And I have contemplated using a single men's stall (since women take longer in our restrooms). My late father-in-law had a very nice houseboat. We were all on it and then his engine failed. No one could use the bathroom. This was before my cancer, 10 years ago. My youngest daughter had to go so I held a cup and she filled it. Everyone in the family likes to tell this story, about the time I poured what looked like lemonade over the side of the boat. I just said - hey, we mothers just do things like this! A year later, everyone wanted to go on his boat again, and take it out into Kentucky Lake. Well, I just said no way. I went shopping (we were on a family reunion) and they all went boating. I absolutely would not step one foot on that boat! Of course this was just a short boating trip. And certainly not a wedding.

I'm sure you'll be fine. I do play mind tricks if I'm messed up in a public bathroom. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and actually pretend I am home, in my favorite bathroom, with my favorite wall paper, my Golden sleeping at my feet. More times than naught does it work. I then take care of my needs, flush, wash my hands and tell myself - hey, this is the new normal for me now. Then I go home.

We were watching one of our favorite shows the other night - the Office. If you watch it, you'll know who I'm talking about. A young character is on drugs and kept using a nightclub's bathroom. Someone in the group said - again? My husband put it all together before I did. He said people are often doing drugs if they use the bathroom a lot. I wondered outloud if people think I am! Oh too bad......I could open that stall door and show them what I'm doing......he he

That was the cutest story about the little boys. I think I would have had to tell the truth too!

Mary/Marsky
Posted 4/28/2008 3:02 AM (GMT 0)
Sometimes I find that eating small meals works best for me. I have IBD and Crohn's Disease. There was a time I would not go out and eat at all. Some days I am able to go to a restaurant but have to order what I can eat. There are so many things on my "I can not eat list." I take PB-8 that can be found at vitamin stores and eat yogurt a lot.

Posted 4/28/2008 6:24 AM (GMT 0)

FitzyK23 said...
gut - that is so funny about the kids! How gutsy to own up!! You should double check the establishment yourself regarding that wedding. When they say 1 bathroom they may mean 1 room with multiple stalls. Also, there were only 2 toilets at my wedding for about 100 people. There was NEVER a line amazingly. Maybe you can work out a back up plan. For my wedding my back up plan was a staff bathroom. I had worked it out before hand with the staff. There may be another employees only toilet on the ship that could be reserved for you in an emergency. Also you could call some local businesses before hand (since you are worried about traffic) and find some places along the route that will allow you a pit stop. That should give you some piece of mind. Finally, get an anti-anxiety med! They help!

Well, if my husband decides to cater the wedding with me, then we actually WILL be staff!  So yes, that would be fabulous!  To have my own loo at the wedding?  What dreams are made of, right?

How I WISH I could take anti-anxiety meds.  But I was a bad girl many years ago..... nono

Posted 4/29/2008 10:29 PM (GMT 0)
jtaurus, Im 50 and had IBS-D for 25 yrs so this doesnt work for me anymore. But back in the good ole days I would always take immodium right before I ate when I went out. I still would go to bathroom but not with the same urgent explosion that I would get alot. At one tome I took imodium on a regular scheduale PER DR. Check with your DR. TELL HIM about THE PROBLEM it is very common with IBS hon. Maybe he will tell you a way to prevent it. And you hang in there cause when I first got IBS it would come and go . Sometimes for a year. I think you are due a break. I am getting ready to start pancreatic enzymes next week. Had to start another med for 2 weeks first. I will let you know if it helps. It is prescription they found that my pancreas wasnt doi

ng its job good enough. Will someone please tell me why my font changed all of a sudden? redface Now look what Ive done. Now you guys know how bad I am at typing. Jtauras have you tried to find a support group there yet? I havent found one here. Still looking. Take care. Thanks for funnies Gut.

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