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Posted 1/3/2009 3:18 AM (GMT 0)
Hi all

I'm new here and I'm relieved to have found this site to say the least. I'm hoping someone can give me some advice from their own experience because I feel so lost and alone. I'll give you the short version of what is a very long story:

3 1/2 years ago I met a wonderful man and we started dating. We'd been together a couple months when an "ex" of his called up and revealed the news that she was pregnant, keeping the baby, etc etc. I decided to stay with him because when I thought about breaking up, I just kept hesitating and I thought I should give it a fair shot and figure out what was there that made me hesitate. Fast forward to today: We're happy as can be. We've bought a house, his son comes to stay with us every other weekend. On the outside, everything is very glossy yuppy happy.

Here's the thing though. After we found out about the impending baby, my stomach started acting up. I get really horrible D. I think the first time I had it was after a really great dinner at a casino with a friend and her parents. I remember being SO embarrassed. So the next time I went to the casino, my stomach automatically exploded. Great, no more casino trips. A money saver yes, but playing the penny slots CAN be fun and cheap ;) Then I took a shopping trip with a friend. We have some lunch and same thing, my butt just explodes for lack of a better term. Horrible. I can barely make it through the rest of the day, I'm just counting down the rest of the day until I can drive back home. I love shopping. Really and truly LOVE it. Now I can't go near a mall without a bottle of Pepto-bismal in my purse!

My other passion is travelling. Just before I met my BF I spent 3 months living in Italy. It was the best time of my life. My BF and I went to my family condo in Florida last year, and I spent the whole trip with severe D and nausea. All I could eat was dry crackers for fear of making it worse. My BF would wake up in the middle of the night to me sitting on the end of the bed in the dark munching on crackers because I was so darn hungry!!! I can't travel anymore. Last time we were in an airport I thought I wouldn't be able to get on the plane I was just so sick.

So my life has come to a standstill and I'm only 28. I can't go out to eat, I can't travel, I can't go to the mall, I can't go outside my daily routine. I know it's so frustrating for my BF and sometimes he says "Then just don't get sick" which he knows I would "just" do if I could. I literally do not go anywhere without Pepto, it's my saving grace. My doctor has diagnosed me with IBS and wanted to put me on a daily medication. I think it's not the right thing for me though, because it's a very emotionally based reaction that I have. It's being in the mall and starting to get all nervous thinking "What if?! Where's the closest bathroom?!", it's not a day to day issue. It's once a week. Or whenever I'm in unknown territory. It feels like the chicken and the egg really.

I tried hypnotherapy which worked for a while, but hasn't been a permanent fix. I'm thinking about going back and trying some more sessions. I'm also thinking about seeing a naturopath to see if I DO have any food allergies, although I don't think that's much of a factor.

Sorry for blabbering on here, I just haven't had an outlet for any of this yet. I really do feel that the majority of this problem is due to anger, resentment, stress at trying to learn to be a "step mom". Where do I go from here? How do I deal with this? How do I move through my issues and just be happy and get rid of this pit in my stomach? I love my BF so much and I want to move forward with our life together but I know I have to solve this problem to get there.

Thanks for listening.
Posted 1/3/2009 4:23 AM (GMT 0)
You are not alone. While they say IBS is not caused by stress, it doesn't help it either. When I'm stressed the ole' tum tum likes to act up. Stress has always seemed to be linked to my guts and when ever I would get super stressed or nervous it would be into the bathroom I went. Pepto was my best friend for quite some time. If I go anywhere outside my comfort zone it's like a knife in my gut. It also sounds like a demented symphony with it's gurgling, popping and rumbling. And of course the second we get where we are going the first thing I do is ask where the bathroom is. I know pretty much every public bathroom in a 15 mile radius. I can also go from my in laws house to my house with all right hand turns to avoid unnecessary waiting at red lights. Last time I went to the mall was to buy my wedding dress a year and a half ago. And I haven't gone out to eat in over four years. It boils down to you do what you have to do. You find what's worth drugging yourself up for and what's not.

And your BF reminds me of my ex( he's my ex for none IBS related reasons though he was a jerk about it too). He would tell me it's all in my head because I was never sick when I wanted to do something but always when he wanted to. It didn't matter that he wanted me to take him out 3-4 times a week to eat at places that specialized in fried food or that I was driving all over Hades every single day picking him up or dropping him off because he had no car. It's basically that they just don't understand. Asking us just not to get sick is like asking him to just not burp after downing an entire bottle of soda. The only way to avoid either is to avoid the triggers that cause them. And since not going to mall and not going out to eat isn't your thing he's just going to have to get used to you getting sick. Yes you should try to reduce the stress in your life since stress and the guts are related. My father swears by the book Zen for Dummies. He's really mellowed out since he started using the book.
Posted 1/3/2009 5:04 AM (GMT 0)
All right hand turns you say? Smart lady... lol! You know, most of the time my BF is very understanding, I didn't mean for him to come off like a jerk. I understand that he gets frustrated as well but jeez, think of it from my side! Typically he's very patient and good to me. Today for instance, we were at a mall *dun dun dunnnn* and I had to take a pepto before we went in, and he said to me that we could just go home and skip the rest of our errands for the day if I needed to relax and avoid getting all twisted up in a knot inside. Luckily the pepto kicked in though and I was fine. He's very loving and attentive and would go to no ends if he thought he could fix my stomach.

I should have said that my doctor gave me a prescription for Adavan so that when I felt like I was in a situation that would make my stomach all crazy (excitement is a BIG one, stress is another) I could pop one and calm down. I've taken a half a pill a couple times and turned into a total stoned out zombie unable to enjoy anything, I hate it. It feels like being trapped in my head. My little voice inside is still freaking out about whatever, but there's this fog over the rest of me. I think I should just throw the suckers out because they definitely don't help! But I mean, how can I go the rest of my life avoiding things that I enjoy because it'll give me D?! Ridiculous!!!!! I'm 28!!! What about when I get married?! My honeymoon?! I just don't get to do any of that now?! I guess the hardest part of all this is that I know the basic cause of all this is my "stepson" for lack of a better term. I'm working hard to be the best parent I can, but it's hard, and the situation certainly is a far cry from how I grew up. I'm trying hard to deal with all the emotions and feelings, but I realize that it's never going to be a piece of cake. So what do I do? Therapy? Hypnotherapy? Naturopath? I wish stomach transplants were an option!!!

Thanks for the book recommendation, I'll have a look for it next time I venture out... Or order it online ;)
Posted 1/3/2009 7:58 AM (GMT 0)
There is a link to IBS and stress though, it may not cause IBS but it certainly can exacerbate IBS symptoms...a good probiotic and fibre supplement daily along with regular exercise can certainly improve IBS, for some that combination can even completely control IBS symptoms.

:)
Posted 1/3/2009 2:46 PM (GMT 0)
I tried the Activia Probiotic yogurt and found it made my stomach feel worse. Any suggestions as to another brand or way of trying probiotics?
Posted 1/3/2009 3:26 PM (GMT 0)
Stonyfield Farms or Brown Cow are good ones too. Skip the fruit on the bottom and try just vanilla. I like to add a teaspoon of honey to my vanilla flavored yogurt. It's a great combination.

Sometimes I see S. Farms in large sized tubs in the reg. yogurt section but you can find both in large and small sizes in the health food section of a grocery too.
Posted 1/3/2009 3:30 PM (GMT 0)
Missmylife, I'm glad that you boyfriend is understanding. My hubby is understanding as well but it does get frustrating for him. I was able to plan my wedding and even have a honeymoon. After awhile you start getting creative. You figure out the little tricks that make living with your tummy easier. Since my big problem with my tummy is panic attacks I try to plan for them. I've had a few "accidents" and since that's a fear of mine I now keep an emergency kit in the car with spare pants, underwear, an empty plastic bottle( if I need a hot water bottle), some peanut butter crackers in case I can't eat real food and extra iced tea mix since I bring my own drink everywhere I go. Haven't needed the spare clothes yet but the empty bottle and crackers have saved me more then once. Until my doc put a stop to it( because I was starting to cause myself problems) I also carried around both chewable and the pill form Pepto, a roll of Mult-symptom Rolaids( it helped with the bad gas) and a fistful of sugar free mints. I ditched the mints because it turned out the the sweetening came from sorbital which can cause D. So those were counter productive.
Posted 1/3/2009 4:52 PM (GMT 0)
I forgot to add I believe that anxiety plays an important part in IBS. It can bring on an attack in my case. For example anytime it's extra busy in our family (moving our college age daughters in or out of their dorms/apts., the entire xmas season, leading up to vacation, etc.), I eat very lightly. I make sure I don't skip my evening Colace and I almost have to force myself to calm down. Taking deep breaths and giving myself a pep talk in my head - that it will all work out (and it does!).....another thing that can send my IBS into full attack is hosting company. My family tends to be lacksadasial (sp?) in prep for a party, asking why we are doing this or that (cobwebs, cleaning behind the stove, wiping down kitchen cabinets, we have a dog that's why, her hair goes everywhere!). They think they can "straighten", empty garbage cans, hang a fresh towel in the bathrooms and we're good to go. Yeah right! So boy when we are having a party I am barely eating! I don't know what I run on at times like that (adreniline?) but somehow I make it thru.

I have heard that yoga is very beneficial to IBS sufferers. You could try that. I just know my old and touchy back would never bend that way! But the physical and mental aspects of yoga really help people with IBS.

I wish you my best in managing this. One thing I have learned in trying to explain all of this to my husband and two daughters is: less info is more. They don't want all the messy details (oh I've heard this a hundred times over), just that this isn't a good day for me. Or that I need to be home for a while. So I try to give them as little info as possible but clearly convey all is not well at that moment in time for me. After trying to explain it all a few times, I realized they will never get it! They can A. eat anything they want and B. poop once a day........ah to have that life, again......oh well.
Posted 1/3/2009 7:50 PM (GMT 0)

missmylife said...
I tried the Activia Probiotic yogurt and found it made my stomach feel worse. Any suggestions as to another brand or way of trying probiotics?

Use a probiotic supplement (pill or powder form, pill is easier) the one I use is called primadophilus reuteri made by natures way and it's helped a lot with my CD and IBS and totally took care of my lactose intolerance issues, but I would imagine if I were to stop taking it my lactose issues would re-appear and it wouldn't be a good outcome for my IBS and CD as it would make those symptoms worse again I'm sure....for women the primadophilus also aids with vaginal health...you should be able to get it at your local health food store, if they don't have it ask them to special order it in for you, it's affordable but the only downside is it must be kept cold (should be in the stores fridge when you purchase) and kept in yours at home.

:)

Posted 1/6/2009 7:14 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Missmylife,

I had the same problem as you. I had an episode at a restaurant and I couldn't go back!!! I started only eating like a chicken nugget for the entire day because I just didn't want to go to the bathroom. I lost 10 pounds in a week and I knew I had to do something. I was on anxiety medicine when I was in High School so i thought maybe that would help me calm down a bit. I went on the medicine and with in 3 to 4 weeks my bowls were pretty normal. I don't go on a regular basis, but anything is better than D all the time!! I'm on Effexor XR 150mg...If it's something you are worth trying I would def. do it!!! It is expensive if you don't have insurance but I think very worth it. I hope everything works out for you!
Posted 1/7/2009 9:22 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks to you all for your advice and support. I have an appointment with a naturopath tomorrow that specializes in gastrointestinal disorders and anxiety so I'm hopeful that it will be a great new starting point for me. I also started back at the gym this week and I'm feeling really good about that. I tried hypnotherapy previously and I found it worked really well but after a while it obviously wore off, so I'm going to try the naturopath and see what she thinks will help. It's just a bit expensive to be doing them both at the same time right now.

I'm trying hard to be proactive and reduce stress, although I'm temporarily laid-off at the moment (stupid economy!) so not having a paycheck certainly doesn't make you relax!!! However I'm looking at it as time to invest in myself and my health which is so easy to neglect when you work a full day and then come home to a busy house.

I'll let you all know what the naturopath says and how it's panning out. Cross your fingers for me! Thanks again for your kindness :)
Posted 1/8/2009 1:42 PM (GMT 0)
Well, I don't usually respond to these boards but this one moved me. I have been having stomach problems what seems like years now and Had all the tests done. ultrasounds, etc. It turns out I have gallstones but they said my gallbladder was not inflamed so they were not going to remove them or the gallbladder itself. They have tested me for h.plyori and I was positive which causes ulcers so i took a long bout of antibiotics. The h.plyplori was cured and gone howver it has already done its damage and im now on protonix for the acid reflux. Well i was still having the D and Constipation and feeling misarable and was now diagnosed with IBS. Now, i need to mention that I have also have panic and anxiety attacks for years and yes when I feel anxious or stressed out, the sypmtoms get worse. My doctor has put me on xanax a very low dose to help control the anxiety. This does seem to help me some but I still feel sick to my stomach daily. I also notice this gets worse a few days into my periods.   I don't know what is going to happen now but after reading all of your posts, I think I am going to jumpstart it and try some meditations and yoga or something relaxing.  I also feel alone like no one understands me and I feel I am frustrating people but I am so frustrated with living this way that i feel like... "if you feel frustrated, how do you think I feel?"  I just am glad to see others understand what I am feeling, I will definitly keep coming back here where I feel someone understands.. Thanks everyone. :-)
Posted 1/8/2009 9:39 PM (GMT 0)
Well I just got back from the naturopath and I'm feeling rather optimistic. I spent an hour and a half talking to her about the probable causes of my IBS, my symptoms and what I'm doing now to manage it. She agreed that it sounded like an emotional causation rather than a dietary trigger but I'm going to keep a food diary until my next appointment just to make sure. She thinks this is a problem she can help me solve, and we agreed to make a goal of my attending a friend's wedding in Italy in July.

Here's my action plan to start off:
- keep my diet diary
- take 1 caplet 2x/day of AOR Brand "OrthoAdapt" to take my anxiety/stress levels down a couple notches
- 2 cups peppermint tea/day (sweeten with honey or steevia)
- 10-15 drops under the tongue of Rescue Remedy as needed (helps to reduce anxiety when feeling panicky symptoms of IBS are rolling in)

Next appointment (1 1/2 weeks from now) she's going to do a physical and bloodwork based on the file that's getting sent over from my doctor. She also mentioned developing a homeopathic supplement to help with the IBS as well as my low iron and B12, but she wanted to see how I would do as this as a starter and go from there. So I'll start in on this plan tomorrow. I was relieved she didn't want to put me on some crazy detox diet or IV drip and really listened to what was happening in my life rather than just my symptoms.

Wish me luck!
Posted 1/12/2009 2:55 AM (GMT 0)
Just a quick update:
3 days into taking my supplements, peppermint tea, etc and I'm feeling great! We had 12 people over for dinner last night and I had not a moment of stress or stomach upset! A couple people mentioned how calm I was and my response of "It's the drugs" caught them rather off guard! LOL! My stepson was here for the weekend and I had one moment of frustration this afternoon but it seemed to just roll off my shoulders rather than becoming a knot of tension in my stomach. I'm SO happy! I have yet to put myself to a real test yet like going to a restaurant or mall, but I'll try that this week and let you know how it goes.
Posted 1/25/2009 3:41 AM (GMT 0)
Another update: It's been a couple weeks now and I think I'm still headed down the right path. I went out to 2 restaurants (in the same day nontheless!) and only at the first one did I feel a little.. iffy... I took some of my Rescue Remedy drops and it helped a lot. The second restaurant I was totally fine at. I was surprised and thrilled! Last night we went out to a dinner party I had no desire to be at and was again feeling a bit iffy, but again took some Rescue Remedy and within a few minutes was enjoying myself as much as you can around people you don't like ;)

My naturopath is very happy with my progress. She gave me a physical and didn't find anything to be concerned about. She's given me a few more supplements, some related to my IBS, some related to other things. I'm now starting peppermint oil rather than tea, although I quite like the tea so I think I'll continue on with that as well. I'm continuing on with my Ortho-Adapt which I think is working wonders. I'm taking acidophilous pills twice a day. Vitamin C because my immune system is crappy this winter, and Omega 3 for my terribly dry skin. Oh and protein shakes to help level out my sugar cravings and hey, a little more healthy eating is never bad!

I don't think I've had an "uh oh" moment that I haven't been able to handle or solve yet. It feels good to take control rather than be controlled. Best of luck to you all. Thank you again for your help. I'll continue to keep you posted!
Posted 1/28/2009 9:11 PM (GMT 0)
I had many of the same social and eating anxieties.  My doctor put me on Paxil and I found it helped with my IBS a lot.  I later saw an article that related Paxil as a possible drug to treat IBS.  You may want to try it or at least research it.

Posted 1/28/2009 9:38 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Sabrina. I'll look into it if I find that the Ortho-Adapt my naturopath has me using isn't working in the long term. So far it's working great but I'll keep it in mind just in case!
Posted 1/29/2009 6:48 AM (GMT 0)
Glad things are going well for you missmylife!! Whatever you're doing, stick with it!

:)
Posted 2/2/2009 3:44 AM (GMT 0)
I am so glad to hear that you are feeling better. Even though, you seem to be better I wanted to share a bit of my story with you and some tips I have learned over the years. Mainly, know that you are not alone. You may not always be able to talk to someone right when you need them most, but know that you are not alone in this at all.

When I was 18, the dr put me on birth control pills for polycistc ovaries. I had been very social my entire life and never had intestinal problems at all. ALl of the sudden I was having horrible D with terrible cramping every night of my life and out of control panic attacks. It got to the point that I was rarely sleeping at night, waking my parents up all night, and totally dependent on the TV to get me through every night. It even got to the point that i would freak out if my parents left me alone in the house, especially at night. After about a year of this, I quit the pills. I immediately felt better and the anxiety and IBS went away completely.

Several years later I had to go back on the them, the PCOS was out of control. The same thing happened this time. To spite trying almost 6 different kinds of pills. I didn't wait nearly as long to stop the pills this time. The symptoms got better, but the IBS did not go away.

It wasn't until I got myself a life again that the IBS went almost totally away. To make a long story short, the times in my life that I am unhappy or stressful is when the IBS becomes an issue for me. The cramping I get is out of control its so bad. I don't care what anyone says, emotions play a big role in this problem. Hormones do as well. My period, before, during and after are the worse times for me now. I am fighting terrible cramping as I talk.

I have found some great things that have helped very much with my IBS. I still sometimes, get anxiety (what if I get sick) from time to time. But I am so much better than I was.

I listed some of the things that have proven helpful for me below
-My faith, my love of the lord helps me so much.
-Digestive Advantage (Activia yogurt KILLED my system, that crap made me really sick)
-Chiropractic Care-one that treats each vertebrae
-Excercise (I do the Firm videos now, yoga, pilates etc...I have lost a ton of weight and can't even begin to tell you how much my workouts have helped my stress, anxiety and IBS)
-I used levbid for pain for a while, but my dad is terminally ill and i work part time to take care of him, i have no money and no health insurance, so i can't get a pain med script right now and the one i have expired last oct)
-heating pads and hot water bottles are great for pain

Hope this helps you and I am so glad you are doing better.
Posted 2/4/2009 9:15 AM (GMT 0)
Dear Missmylife,

Glad to hear you are feeling better and in control of those oh ho moments cause we all know what that feels like !!

You mentioned a couple of posts ago that since you have been on your supplemnets and peppermint tea you are feeling good , can you tell me what supplements you are on please, i live in Spain and their is not much help here for IBS/IBD sufferers much to may dispair and dismay, i just need all the advice i can get on what supplements i can take to assist my condition.
I am just recovering from a really bad few days where i got very streesed out and suffered big time with cramps, lower abdominal cramps too, constipated one min and D the next, scared to eat for the pain but absolulty starving for something, my tummy is sooo sensitive to the touch and i feel gassy at times......in simple terms feel like crap !!

Any dietary, supplement or other advice would certainly be most welcome, i am another woman although whos BF is very understanding and kind and loving is possibly getting a liitle sick of it all now because i guess they cant see what we are feeling, so its difficult probably for him to believe me totally.

I look forward to hopefully hearing from some of you
Thanks
Posted 2/5/2009 1:25 AM (GMT 0)
Missmylife,

I know almost EXACTLY how you feel! I am 19 years old and out of no where 3 months ago I developed some sort of IBS related anxiety. I am afraid to drive anywhere, I stress the anywhere part. I live 45 minutes away at school and have a boyfriend that lives and hour and a half away from school. I can't even go to the grocery store without my stomach churning and gurgling and my mind racing to find the nearest restroom! These past three months have been depressing and have really taken a toll on my body. I am 5'8" and normally 125 lbs. I'm down to 116 in less than 2 months and its not that I'm not eating, its just that I can't hold anything in longer than I can consume it. Some of the time I worry myself for no reason; I'll get to a rest stop and it will be nothing more than gas but more times than not, its horrible D. I try to talk myself out of it and do some breathing techniques but that will only help for a little bit before the pains start pushing through. Its severely destroying my life in different aspects, my friendships, relationships, and my well being (not to mention that this problem is a bit embarrassing) I don't know 100% if I have IBS. I do have an appointment in March with a GI doctor and its been suggested (by a counselor I've recently been seeing) to be tested for Crohn's disease. But so far I've been trying to take action to fix this stomach/anxiety problem. I have been prescribed xanax and HATE it!!! I'm supposed to take it before I drive but it makes me so unbelievably drowsy and that's just dangerous! So I bought a few IBS cookbooks (thanks to my caring boyfriend who researches everything for me) and I've completely changed my diet for about 4 days now and going strong; mostly teaching myself to stay away from trigger foods and what not. I have also added calcium, B-complex, and fish oil to my daily multi-vitamin regimen as well as peppermint tea like crazy (which i love). I still have to search for something with L-Thiamine and Ashwangdha as well as Acidopholus (again suggested by my "therapist" in lack of better terms). This will hopefully help change the fact that I cannot function/leave my apartment at school and don't want this to keep me from living my life. I am SO happy that I can share this and hopefully get some positive feedback. ANY suggestions will mean the WORLD to me and give me some hope that things will get better.

-giraffegirl
Posted 2/5/2009 3:55 AM (GMT 0)
Immodium helps a lot more than pepto. Giraffegirl, what dose of xanax are you on? I only take .25 and that doesn't make me drowsy at all and calms me down. Any more than that though and I am super sleepy.
Posted 2/5/2009 2:04 PM (GMT 0)
FitzyK23,

I am also on .25 and I do calm down a bit but about 30 minutes or so after I take it I have to force myself not to pass out! One time I thought I'd lay down just for a little before I tried going to the mall with my boyfriend and he woke me up 2 1/2 hours later to say that it wasn't that important to go! How is the Protonix working for you? I swear by it for my acid reflux and they just upped my dosage to 40 ml so I only have to take it once a day.
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