I really need help for my Mom, I am so scared :'(

Hello,

I am new on this forum, and so sad lately. Since November, the doctors found my mom a little pelvic fluid, and a little ascites. MRI's showed nothing else abnormal. Blood tests were good also.Doctors do not really know what this can be, but do not seem too scared.

I found on internet peritoneal mesenthelioma , and since then I am really panicked, I lost my dad and she is the only person left to me.. She is a painter (at home, painting on canvas in oil).

I wondered if someone could help me, if someone has heard of cases where there was a little ascites but nothing bad. What scares me is the fact that doctors don't seem to know what it is. They are just saying that it is a small amount, so to let it go for the moment.

I'm really afraid, and I can not reassure myself ... Thanks a thousand times, Alexandra

samster, I don't believe it's a disease that only men get.

Alexandra........don't jump to conclusions. Even if your mom has something serious, there are so many things that can help people these days.

Well, I was a critical care R.N., and I don't always trust doctors either! I think there are good ones and bad ones, just as in any other profession. Do you have any way of knowing if other people have had good experiences with those doctors? Could you find another G.I. doc and get another opinion? Do you live in a small town. In my experience, it's best to see larger city doctors.
I understand your fear, in light of having lost your dad. Do you have other people you are close to?

Alexandra, I believe samster posted in the wrong forum, he is a person with Prostate Cancer & that is why he made the comment that only men get it.

I understand your distrust of drs after losing your dad. Perhaps as Cathy suggested get another opinion. I would get copies of any testing your mom has had done. At some point you are going to have trust a dr with this. Cruising the internet is fine but please don't look for trouble that is not there. It will do nothing but stress you & your mom out.

Take care.

Hello everyone,

I'm so sorry I haven't been able to pass by the forum before, I haven't been in my best times with all of this.
You all are just so nice with your advice, and it really goes straight to my heart. Thanks so so much.

We have tried to enjoy the summer, (I must say it has been difficult for me, especially the first month).
A friend of mine went to see our gastroenterologist to tell him about my fear of my Mom having a peritoneal mesothelioma, and he said it was impossible because she would have brutally lost 10 kilos...
I actually wasn't really relieved by his answer because when I searched all of that on Internet, I found so many people with no symptoms at all, except a little fluid...
The cardiologist also found a little fluid around the heart but he was not worried at all, and said her heart was perfect.

In August I started to relax a bit, seeing that my mom was in good shape, and feeling perfectly well. Another doctor told us that any serious illness that would be developing since November would give her much more symptoms by now... And I also started thinking that there was no reason why she would have mesothelioma since she has not (at least she thinks), been exposed to asbestos.

Until today where I saw that talcum powder has been accused of giving ovarian cancer and mesotheliomas, when used on the genital area in women... And my mom has done that since she's a little girl (she's now 59), so my fears have came back even faster than before!

I really don't know how to feel better about this... I wish I could find one person who has had a little ascites with nothing going wrong... Not one doctor can give us an answer, and this mesothelioma thing just scares me so much...

I hope that you are all having a great summer,
Big hugs
Alexandra

Thank you so much Susie for your kind words.

It made me feel much better what you told me about talcum powder. I did actually tell my mom about it the other day, and got a little mad at her for using it for so many years (since she was a little girl), in parts of her body where she shouldn't. But yes, I guess that it must be very rare that people get sick because of it... I hope at least.

My mom knows that I am frightened even though I try to hide it...
My dad died when I was 8, it wasn't a mistake during surgery but after it. It was the gallbladder. My mom asked the doctors if it was normal that he felt very tired one or two weeks after surgery, the doctor said "totally normal, no worries to have", then he died all of a sudden when I was watching a cartoon next to him, and the cause was that the doctor forgot to give him a very important medication needed after surgery...

I know that anybody can make a mistake, doctors are human and it can happen to everyone, especially with the stress they must have. But that's maybe why it's difficult for me to trust "No worries to have", from a doctor... There is always a little doubt in my heart.

I grew up totally after that with my Mom, and we are like sisters and best friends. I'm 23, still live with her, and it's difficult for me to take my distances. I guess that my dreamed life would be married with a family, but still with my Mom very near haha , being able to see her, cook for her, and being sure she is ok.

I never really thought anything could happen to her, until November when they found that, and it was like a bullet to me, it woke me up that something could happen. Now I really want her in good health!

The things that help me calm down are :

- Since November, nothing has dramatically changed, and she is always hungry and has appetite. All my friends tell me that if the had a mesothelioma since November, even if it was in the early stages, something would have come by now... At least they think.

She is sometimes tired during the day, but she has a little anemia, and she has always been like that.
She is skinny (I would like her to gain weight), and even though she is not losing any kilos, I find her a little more bony in the face since the past 5 years. But again, a lot of people tell me that some people when getting older get skinnier in the face.
She also sometimes has a little pain in the stomach, but the same, she says that all her life she has had that sometimes. (like everyone I guess) I imagine that if there was a pain due to cancer, it would not leave, or be much more present.

I never really paid attention to her appearance until now, I guess that's why I start caring about all those things, her weight, etc, and I get little frights... ^^

When we return to Paris, she has been sent to see a Internist (I think that's what it's called in English), a doctor that searches into weird or rare symptoms.
The appointment is on September 19, I hope he is going to tell me that he has already seen people with a little fluid in the abdomen, with it being nothing to worry about! It's really what would calm me down. It's the "I have never seen this" from the doctors that scares me out, and the mesothelioma thing. I really hope I will get answers from him.

Thank you again for your message, it went straight to my heart and made me feel a little better.
Take care also,
All the best,
Alexandra

Thank you for your message Susie,

about the peritoneal mesenthelioma, I know that it's normally men, and above all, men who have been working in buildings and who have been exposed to asbestos.
What made my worries build up during the past months, is that I found on many forums women who have had that, and who said that they had never been exposed neither their husband, and that they didn't understand. I was also frightened by the fact that they said that they were feeling perfectly well before they found it, and that they only for some of them had a little ascites. And of course, when the talcum powder story came out with the fact that it contained asbestos before, well it didn't help me keep my mind clear.

As for the ascites unfortunately it was confirmed by two doctors, our general doctor, and a gastroenterologist. When he was looking at all her exams closely he said "why you have ascites, I don't understand", but then again, he wasn't that worried...

I know I really have to stop worrying, that's actually what brought me on internet in the first place. I wasn't really looking for cancers, or the cause, I was really hoping to find people who had a little ascites and nothing wrong, to feel reassured. I couldn't find anyone in that case, and that's when I fell on the mesenthelioma and that my mind just lost it.

For my dad, I know that the lawyers wanted my Mom to start a lawsuit, but she didn't want to. She knew it would take long, and she just wanted us to leave America and move to Paris where all her family lived to be with them. The only thing I know is that it had to due with an anticoagulant. I think that's what happened, the doctor was supposed to give him one, and he didn't or something like that...

Thank you again for all your kind words, it helps me ease my stress a little, I know that my fears don't let my mind work as it should.

I do hope also that the doctor will give me an answer, it would just make my fears totally disappear.
I wish you a very nice weekend,
Alexandra

Not sure if helpful but when I had my gallbladder removed I had internal bleeding and infection and was sent home same day with no medication... and I'm alive... they think by doing that they caused other issues but I'm alive! Haha, just reading this I think you have bad anxiety which is totally understandable due to the circumstances but I think you should listen to the people here saying stay away from Google honestly everything you'll Google will come up with cancer. You sound like I am now, I'm now ill due to anticipating being poorly, I know right? Sounds like your anticipating and waiting so you can act and your trying to gain knowledge that can help when unless it's been specilaist advised I wouldn't. They know what they're doing. The fact he's fine with the fluid you should be fine! Also I'm 22 and I remember the powder with the big puff hahahah there is 6 of us and we all had the same and we're fine! Also about your dad, I had same op In uk and I got no anticoagulant but I'm in a lawsuit with them for they destroyed my bile ducts and have crippled me for life haha but I'm in the 1% of people worldwide for that to happen to so it's really rare. My friend had hers removed same age as me and developed chronic pancreatitis, we always did have to do things together! But the worst is googling.. if I were you I'd seek another opinion for peace of mind and I think you need your own appointment to speak to someone about how your coping with it all, hope your alright.