Feeling very down. Need advice on alternating symptoms

I've been having a rough time lately with all these IBS symptoms. It isn't the first time I've had a flareup, as I've had many IDS flare ups over the years but now that I'm 70 I'm finding them harder to deal with. I don't have anyone to talk to, or should I say I don't want to burden my family, so I'm turning to my healing well family for advice . It's important to mention that I have had health anxiety all my life and have been convinced I'm dying of some form of cancer since the age of 10. Now that I'm 70 however I'm convinced it has to be something very serious. One day I'll be constipated the next day I'll have diarrhea, the next day I'll have pain on the left side the next day I'll have pain on the right side… It's just an ongoing battle. I sometimes wonder if it's all in my head since I know our God talks to her brain and vice versa. I need an afraid to talk much about it with my therapist as I think she'll be convinced I'm just crazy. I'm terrified of doctors, don't trust him, have seen a lot of horrific stories Family and friends so I'm always trying to self treat. I've been on Nexium which seems to help a little, I've stayed on a strict diet and lost weight which I needed to but sometimes I'll just say the hell with it and eat a big hamburger and I actually feel pretty good after word. None of it seems to make any sense which makes me think I'm just a hopeless closet hypochondriac. One day I'll be convinced it's my gallbladder the next must be my ulcers and the next it must be colon cancer. It's not a very good way to live but I seem to be trapped by my fears . Any words of advice or maybe just a good peptalk would be really welcomed right about now. Thank you for listening to my whining.

Andwes, I happened across your post. Anxiety of any kind can be a tough one to deal with. IBS is one of those things that can be unpredictable too. Have you seen a gastro dr lately for a check up? If not perhaps you should be asked to see one. Get checked out & perhaps that will help settle your mind some. My son's wife has horrible IBS that really made her miserable for years. She finally saw a gastro & learned how to handle it with diet. She kept a food diary to learn what foods triggered it & went from there. Diet was the key to getting it under control.

You mentioned you see a therapist. By all means discuss these fears with this person. Remember they work for you. I would not for a minute worry about this person thinking you are a hypochondriac. I am willing to bet the therapist has many with this fear. Please consider giving it a try. Dig in your toolbox for some of your coping skills, I am betting you have some in it.

Take care.