Is it "normal"?

I have a few criteria in determining whether or not a poop is "normal." A) If I have enough time to hike down the undies and grab a magazine, it's a good day - that usually means it'll take a slight push, rather than being reminiscent of a dam bursting open, so I really can't complain.  B) If it's the consistency of anything besides pure liquid (i.e, it in any way shape or form resembles anything with a shape or form) that's also a good sign.  C) If it is over 50% brown in color, I breathe a sigh of relief.  Staring down pieces of salad or crudite is never pleasant (and hardly avoidable if you actually take the time to flush), but it isn't likely to be anything to worry about.  In a similar vein, I've been worried for a split second or two when the toilet water is red, before I remember downing that liter of Fruit Punch Gatorade a couple hours ago 

Okay, I'm in a silly mood...but the narrowness is likely perfectly normal.

Keriamon said...
Sometimes there's no known reason for why poop comes out narrow, but sometimes it's from swollen hemmroids, which are common with people with C. In fact, the stools that you describe are so typical of IBS that they are one of the symptoms on the diagnosis list. I mean, they're THAT common.

I insist that you decorate your office in a weird, ecclectic manner, consisting of no less than one stuffed animal (heads only fine, although a stuffed deer's butt is better), some form of ancient weaponry (not sharp, of course) or suit of armor, some nautical or pirate decour (nets, wheels, etc.), at least one "stolen" road sign, a medical oddity (two-headed snake or something of that nature) and some form of live animal--parrots being better than fish. 

The best doctor's office I have ever been to was actually my pediatrician-dentist's office.  He had exotic tropical fish AND a talking parrot (a real one, mind you), a jukebox, playhouse, toys, a Nintendo, and chairs each in a different primary color.  I always dreaded my mother harping on me mercilessly for having cavities, but I never dreaded Dr. Whitmire or the dentist office from kid-heaven.  He'd sing to you and talk to you like he remembered you (may have been able to remember all of those kids--had a Dean at my college who could), and made you feel special. 

I think you can NEVER go wrong with putting people at ease and make them feel special.  So many doctor's offices are decorated like some expensive department store bathroom or office lobby; I feel like I'm going to a job interview, not to the doctor.  Now, interactive computer displays on how your body works, that would be interesting.  Layman's dictionaries to medical jargon would be better than Better Homes and Gardens magazine on the table.  And if you could ever find a working model of a digestive tract that you can put food in, watch it churn through the guts, and get "poop" out, that would be THE ultimate in GI waiting room entertainment. 

You're a patient; I expect you to design a patient's paradise waiting room! 

OMG I am so going to hire you as my interior designer! 

Sorry for hijacking the thread, ThyGoddess!  I'll stop fantasizing about a petting zoo in my medical office now.