I just dont understand it!!!!

Awww jt, I don't know what to say to you except what worked for me. Once I realized I had a touchy GI tract and would have to carefully manage it for the rest of my life, I honestly don't think things improved for me as much as they have, until I just simply "accepted" things as is. Once I did this I truly believe my insides calmed down and if they could have spoken outloud, they would have said - see I told you, I get irritable, listen to me! So I have listened to my gut and paid close attention to what works, what doesn't, etc., etc. I just stopped lamenting why this or that, or why me, but rather didn't even ask the why questions. If I had made an outloud declaration back then it was probably - okay, Mary, let's make the best of this IBS situation.

Has this new attitude towards realizing I have a very touchy gut helped 24/7? Eh, not 100% of the time but close to 80% or higher. Compared to living in my bathroom 11 years ago. That's a huge improvement in my quality of life. I know what works for me and I make sure I do these things (plain food, small meals, no stress, stool softener, probiotic).

You may not even want to face all of these frustrating aspects of IBS, like I did, but I wanted to know everything about IBS and then manage it best that I could. I know you do as well, but I also think allowing yourself to become this angry about it, surely wreaks havoc on your insides.

What I hope for you in the coming months and years is this - acceptance. Just accept that you have IBS. Let go of the dream of not having it. Once you do that, perhaps your insides will calm down somewhat too.

Of course this is just my approach to IBS. What works for me may not work for others. But I do wish it would work for you.