What can I do to improve my IBS symptoms?

I'm 19, and have been suffering with IBS since I was 16. I was a smart, confident individual, who had a lot going for her. I started university this year, despite knowing my symptoms would hold me back, somewhat.
I was too ill to make most of my classes, with IBS causing severe anxiety I began to isolate myself. Every time I muster up the courage to make plans to socialise, my awful symptoms flare up causing severe embaressment, and the fear of ever trying again.
The fact that I look so well, and put together, and put on a confident show confuses people around me.
Despite having friends who reach out to me (even after cancelling endless times) , I have now completely isolated myself. This illness has taken away every aspect of my life that I love, leaving me bedridden and depressed.
I'm ready to end it all, and have no clue how to stop myself from doing so.

I'm a high achiever and a perfectionist. A life like this is not worth living.

What can I do to improve my situation?

Sophia has described most of what I suffer from but somehow I am able to function with a job. But I am held back like sitting in a room full of people, etc. In my twenties, everything would go right through me. Now later in life, I suffer from a combination of symptoms. It is rare when I go normal with no issues before or after at all. When I do go normal, I feel great and hope that it could continue but it goes back to issues again. I could write so much but I am hoping to help Sophia. Recently, I just was getting so physically exhausted by dealing with it, that I just started searching in Google each food item that I would eat. That's how I ended up here. I typed in green leaf lettuce. Other times I typed bread digestion or food intolerance or search about water helping. I know we have to be careful on internet but you can find some good articles or input (there is one on this website about natural tips on helping to calm down body/colon etc.). Here is what I found in past searches:
1. some ingredients in shelf items can cause gas (example: Soy lecithin,sorbitol, xantham gum)
2. Low thyroid can affect the gut (the doctor can check your thyroid level)
3. Bread could give digestion issues (sourdough could be less of a problem) (recently I stopped eating store bought bread and my symptoms improved)
4.Lactose can cause digestion issues (as well as caffeine and alcohol doesn't help)
5.A fellow colleague in the past explained how his wife can't have certain cheeses because of different proteins. I noticed that I do better with cheddar. Parmesan might not be a good idea for me and Mozzarella is NOT good for me!
I was hesitant to comment but Sophia's post inspired me to add my input. At least I have my mom to talk to. I told her that I came across this forum and I said they talk like us about stomach issues! A lot of people are suffering in silence until it starts being discussed more out in the open. Sometimes I try to share to my kids "just in case" they ever have a digestive issue with something. What I have written is my experience. There is a lot to say of what I've read (example: the thing you ate one day might be fine that time but not the next time (for me would be butter among other things) and also when someone might not know why you're acting a certain way but it is because you are having an episode). Maybe you can reach out to a friend that might have their own experiences with food. Some of it is normal but IBS can really interfere with interactions, etc. because of embarrassment. I was feeling really exhausted and just tired of dealing with it until I removed bread to see if that is one of the culprits. When it made a difference, it gave a boost of hope. Also, I decided to take more action by taking a walk outside of work (when I get home or set a time to walk in neighborhood at a safe time in the day). There is no cure but Sophia is not alone. Sorry you have to go through this. Please don't give up. Hopefully you can find the right adjustments for you. I am still working on it. Some stuff is hard to give up because it's either a habit or you just like it like caffeine, etc. or sometimes I don't feel full so I just need something like bread or pasta to get full. I am taking it step by step and testing things (sourdough bread, flour tortillas w/o certain ingredients, and certain pastas) and maybe a fast food chicken sandwich sometimes but not all time (I used to blame fast food but sometimes it treats me better). In my case, I have a low thyroid and I am retraining my eating habits but like I said it's a constant guessing game. Lately I am feeling a little better by looking more into it and finding more input out there from individuals. I really hope the above tips are of some use and help for you.

I could have written this thread name.

It’s how I often feel.

I think the first thing to realise, is that probably the very worst our disease can do from a humiliation point of view is crapping oneself in public. If that hasn’t happened yet then realise that while it is of course pretty horrible, it is not the end of the world. Much worse things can and do happen.

I suffer massive anxiety about going out, being without a toilet, travelling etc, and have done now for almost 20 years. But i very much try and keep functioning as much as normal. Or at least as much as you can when you have to go 10+ times a day.

Take each day at a time. Try and put small things in place to help you function. Carry a bag with spare undies and wipes for instance.

You’ll be amazed at how much you can do in-spite of your illness if you keep a positive attitude.

Then do you best to find some relief from it whether that’s medical, psychological or otherwise.