Three different doctors and a radiologist can't agree on the size of my kidney stone. They say anywhere from 3mm-7mm. I have had kidney, vaginal, and abdominal ultrasounds, as well as one ct scan. I'm due for another ct scan this coming monday. I have had 3 painful episodes sine 12/28/12. I have had a lot of physical pain in my life from other conditions, and this pain is by far the worst. I was in the er twice and two dr. visits. They "think" it's still in my kidney bouncing around. It gets to the opening but never comes out. Insurance is giving me a hard time about how many pain med pills I can have..this is frustrating. I have learned how to ration out my pills because I am SO afraid of another episode hitting me and I have nothing to ease the pain. I want it out now, but they want to wait and see if it comes out. Isn't it my choice if i'd rather have it out versus the crazy anxiety I have anticipating when the pain will hit. It's like waiting for someone to come up behind you and stab you repeatedly for 4+ hours. They would like to do lithotripsy but they seem to think it wouldn't show up on plain xray...but they are not disputing the possibly that it's possibly 7mm. They told me they would ideally like to wait 5-6 weeks before trying anything! I have to work. 2 out of 3 painful episodes were at work. What if i'm alone say at the grocery store and it hits... they dont think about these things. I am pretty down about this...my mind is mush, and i'm so scared of the pain. Why am I being made to suffer? If I end up going to the er again, and the take in nurse asked routine questions like are you suicidal...I may say yes. This pain makes you really question if life is worth living. I'm not planning on ending my life...but I just can't imagine how I will be after a few more of these episodes. I'm not religious but I consider kidney stones the devils rocks, and they were placed there for torcher reasons. I'm so sad, hurt, angry, hopeless, scared, and anxiety levels are high.. I have been put on Toradol, percocet, rapiflo, and flomax. I'm searching for people like me, I need to know i'm not alone. Please...
Post Edited (bianc34) : 1/15/2013 4:30:19 PM (GMT-7)