I won’t start dialysis ???

I had an office visit with my nephrologists yesterday and he is very angry with me because I won’t start dialysis.  I’ve been going to him for years and years and I never saw him get angry.  Even his assistant saw it.  She said he’s not angry with me, he’s just frustrated because he doesn’t want me to get sick.  I felt so bad when I left that I felt like turning around and telling him I’ll do it.  But then a little voice in me told me to not do it.

 

I’m getting more symptoms but I still don’t feel I need to start yet.  I’m getting more and more forgetful and that really bothers me.  I’m so confused right now.  I know the “correct” thing is to start, but I just can’t.  I was pretty sick a week ago and was ready to call the doctor but after a few days I felt better.  As much as I think I can handle this, I’m really starting to believe I’m in denial because I still think I’m well enough to get by and I feel like it “won’t happen” to me. (meaning getting really sick).  But on the other hand, I know I will have to do it some day.

 

Has anyone ever held out starting when their doctor recommended it?  I trust my doctor and of course he keeps telling me all the bad things that can happen but like I said, I really don’t think that will happen to me.  If you held out, did you regret it?  Do you think that waiting until you “felt” you were ready was a good decision?

 

Any advice is appreciated!

(((((((KidneyKid)))))))

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. Irishmom4 is right its a big step. Only you can make this decision. Whatever anyone says and most will tell you just to do it, you will still second guess. Just please remember this can be life threatening if you don't do what the doctor says. I don't know if you have a family but they would sure miss you.

My prayers will be with you
Laurie

Sweetie you need to do dialysis! You are taking years off of your life by putting it off. The damage is not just limited to your kidneys it begins to be a domino effect. Trust me I know it's a huge step, i've done it. I did the same thing you're doing. I wouldn't tell my family everything the doc said; I didn't want them worried and pushing me to do things I didn't feel ready to do. Mine came down to a crisis, a long hospital stay. Maybe you should ask to speak to a counselor or psychiatrist to help you come to terms with what you're facing.

I'm not trying to be crude, but the reality is you need dialysis and the longer you put it off, the sicker you become! Thank God you have a doc that cares enough to passionate about your situation. You need to call him and set up a time to start your diaysis! There are option as someone mention CAPD, home hemo, find out what's best for you and get started! You owe it to yourself and your family! Judy