HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Possible post traumatic stress...

Support Forums
>
Lupus
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 7/4/2008 7:59 PM (GMT 0)
I'm seeing a new mental health doctor on Tuesday.  Many of you know the near death experience I had last summer.  The trauma my body went through, and is still going through from that anyphalactic medication allergy I had.

 

So, I can't get the memories of what happened out of my head. I think about what happened pretty much every day.  Even when I'm totally consumed in another activity, the feelings, complications, events from the hospital and recovery at home - all swarm back.  I feel attacked and plagued by these memories.  They all seem so fresh and real and scary. The feelings I have are as though I'm reliving what happened.  It's horrible. I cry every day.  I just told my husband that a few weeks ago.  He didn't know the struggles I've been having while he's at work.  I'm too good at hiding my real feelings. 

 

I talked to my family doctor about it a couple of weeks ago.  She thinks it's very possible I have post traumatic stress disorder.  She made me make an appointment with the psychologist.  I didn't have a choice.  Probably a good thing. 

 

Even my stroke from 2002 didn't affect me the way this has.  Not even close.  Has anyone else dealt with PTSD?  Oh Geez, I'm listening to the radio right now and the song, "Leave Virginia Alone" by Rod Stewart just came on.  (My full name is Virginia for those who don't know).  I want this attack on my psyche to "leave me alone".  What an ironic song to have come on right now....

 

Thanks for listening guys.  I need help.  I have a problem and it's getting worse.  I could really use some prayers. 

Ginny   

Posted 7/4/2008 8:17 PM (GMT 0)
Ginny... I'm sorry you are going through all this!!! It would be worth it for you to go this way he/she can help you cope with the things your dealing. Thoughts and prayers. Debbie
Posted 7/4/2008 9:52 PM (GMT 0)
(((((Ginny))))) It would make sense that you might be going through something like PTSD after going through such a traumatic event. Before I quit my job, I worked with kids and some of these kids had PTSD and your are right that it can be both a physical and emotional thing because both your brain and your body remember the trauma which can make it very hard to try to deal with. I hope you get a great psychologist and that you can get some help with it. Just like other doctors, psychologists have their specialties too, so if the one you are seeing on Tuesday doesn't seem to have a good feel for chronic illnesses or PTSD, you can try to find a different one. Let us know how it goes on Tuesday. Take care
Posted 7/5/2008 4:28 PM (GMT 0)
Ginny,

   (((Hugs))) I'm sorry your dealing with PTSD! Hopefully, this well improve with time and the help from a psychologist. Please take care and keep us updated. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

                                                                             Love, Babs

Posted 7/5/2008 10:39 PM (GMT 0)
yes, when for 6 months I thought I had hiv since my ex of 11 yrs cheated on me with a girl who had hiv
He knew the whole time her was having sex with her she had hiv. He slept with her and me unprotected for close to a year.
Then he left me for her. That was 8 yrs ago and they are still together nad married.

good times
Posted 7/6/2008 3:54 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you my good friends for your thoughts and prayers.  I really am dealing with something severe here.  Right after I posted this thread, my mom called.  I swear, the timing of things yesterday was so amazing.  We talked for an hour and I was sobbing most of the time.  I try not to let my family know how bad things are.  I don't want to burden my loved ones with my issues.  I know that is the wrong thing to do.  They want and need to know my state of mind and health.  I have to be more open with them.  It was a really good talk with my mom.  I'm actually looking forward to seeing the psych doc on Tuesday.  Should be interesting.

 

I'll keep you posted on how it goes,

 

Love to all,

Ginny

Posted 7/6/2008 4:13 AM (GMT 0)
(Ginny) my prayers are with you. I think it is completely reasonable for you to have these feelings. I pray that you find peace and get the help you need. God Bless and keep you, Judy
Posted 7/6/2008 10:38 PM (GMT 0)
OH NO! ((((((((((( Ginny ))))))))))) Great big sisterly hugs for you sweetie! I'm SO sorry you've been going through this alone. I'll bet you thought you'd make your way through it w/o bothering anyone! I can't imagine what some of you have been through. . . . and your fight last year was huge. I'm SO glad you shared your feelings here. I'll bet there are others reading . . . who can't speak up . . . who are hoping for some help too. Its great that your doctor got you hooked up with a specialist. Working through all that awful time will be hard but it will help you pinpoint your fear and then empower you with ways to take control of your life again. Definitely best to deal with it than to stuff it. Empowerment girl!!!!! I tried to help a young man who had crashed his motorcycle last year. I won't recount out the horrid details, but the other people who stopped, just stood over him talking. I stopped my car, ran over and dropped to the ground . . . cleared his nose and mouth (he was then able to breath with great effort) and I gently stroked his hair as I asked one of the others to take out his wallet and look for his name. Then I talked to him, using his name, and prayed while the ambulance came. He did die . . . but I'm comforted that he may have heard a caring voice and felt a bit of comfort being gently touched. That's as close as I've come to having any type of PTS . . . and its a fine line keeping your brain on the positive side of what has happened. And no one else has a clue what you witnessed . . . only a few words trying to describe it . . . when there is really no amount of words that could give people a clue. So you are stuck with all these feelings and visions in your head and unable to share . . . I'm so sorry Ginny . . . you must be feeling just miserable. I hope Tuesday appointment goes well and that you really connect with the counselor/psych doc. I'm so glad that you have reached out for help. Keep us posted sis . . . . prayers, hugs and . . . Blessings!
Posted 7/7/2008 12:20 AM (GMT 0)

Thank you everyone.  You're all so supportive and loving.....

Rosie, your post made me get all emotional.  What you did for that man is heroic.  I can imagine that day goes through your mind fairly often.  It's not easy getting the bad memories out of our heads.

That's my issue.  The flooding bad memories, and having them feel so real and fresh.  I'm hoping that Tuesday's appointment is the start of getting healthy.  And yes, I thought I could deal with this without bothering anyone.  You nailed it.  It's good to be able to talk about it here too.

Posted 7/7/2008 12:35 AM (GMT 0)
(((((((((( Ginny )))))))))) I was honored to have been able to assist . . . even though he did die. It turned out that he was a soldier who was home from having served a tour in Iraq. I bet his family worried every minute that he was there . . . and then . . . he was "safely" home and everyone was happy. Life is so unpredictable. I think about them a lot. I wonder if you will learn a method for dealing with hard stuff????? I wonder how long a process it will be to work through. I'll keep you in my prayers Ginny !! Blessings!
Posted 7/7/2008 6:12 PM (GMT 0)
Ginny, I wish you well. You are definitely doing the right thing by seeing a psychologist. DON'T try to sort it out yourself -- and trust your instincts with your psychologist. If you don't feel comfortable with the psychologist try another one. A good psychologist will help you deal with it at your own pace and not force you to confront things that are too emotional too fast. The best thing you can do is talk about what happened, to family, friends and doctors. Although it doesn't feel like it right now, you will feel better in the future . . . I promise.
Love,
Harmony
Posted 7/7/2008 7:12 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Harmony (((((hugs)))))).  YOur encouragement is much appreciated. You're right. This is going to take time, but it will get better.  My mom said the same thing to me the other day.  I'm going to keep praying about it too.

 

Ginny

Posted 7/8/2008 3:42 AM (GMT 0)

My husband had PTSD when he came back from Iraq. Like you, he was VERY good at hiding his true feelings for a while, but eventually, the facade came down and when it did...whew. We nearly split up before things started getting better.

What helped him (is helping him still) is a therapy technique called mindfulness based stress reduction, or MBSR. You can google it for more information. He participated in a study at Emory University and was such a poster child for the success of it that he's being interviewed for magazine articles and documentaries about it. He was on NPR a year or so ago, too.

We're Christians, and at first thought it was maybe too "new age" for us, but the way it was presented to him, it wasn't that way at all. It taught him how to break out of the mental spiral that he went down when PTSD struck, how to refocus on the moment and not "go back" to where he was when the traumatic situations occurred. It truly has helped.

I wish you the best...it's a tough thing you endured.

Posted 7/8/2008 10:41 PM (GMT 0)
I had my appointment this afternoon.  It went very well.  I had a little cry but no full blown blubbering. Thank goodness.  He's very good at listening and asking the right questions.  In a nutshell, I don't have classic PTSD.  I'm also not depressed.  YAY!  He thinks I've been through a horrible time this past year and my reactions and feelings are completely normal.  He said if I wasn't feeling this way, that would be abnormal... So I"m normal. Hahaha... Ya right.  As normal as one can get with all this going on.  He also said that because I'm getting out there and enjoying life and taking some fun risks and enjoying my work, that depression isn't an issue at all. I have no clinical symptoms of any depression.  But I defnitely have the clinical symptoms of a generalized anxiety disorder.

 

He has some things for me to work on and wants to meet with me again. I felt like a weight had been lifted as I left his office. He even commented and said, "You look lighter".  I felt lighter!  I have a long way to go, but everything happened great today.

 

Thanks again for everyone's support. Love ya!

Ginny

Posted 7/8/2008 11:04 PM (GMT 0)
Ginny, Oh! Great! *phewwwwww!* We are a tough bunch, aren't we!! Thank you SO much for sharing all of this! I'm sure you've helped lots of us work through some things that we haven't been able to articulate too well. I hope you'll share more when you see him again. Blessings!
Posted 7/8/2008 11:32 PM (GMT 0)
Ginny, I'm so glad the appointment went well. Sometimes it can feel great just to have your feelings validated. It sounds like you had a great psychologist.
Posted 7/9/2008 4:14 AM (GMT 0)
(((Ginny)))) I am so glad you feel better and things went well. Thanx for sharing! Judy
Posted 7/9/2008 11:33 PM (GMT 0)
((((( Ginny )))))) Normal???? I knew you were all along :-) You have been through so much, you are a strong woman with a lot of faith.... you are truly an inspiration to me! You keep living your life and having a great time and most importantly don't let lupus win!!! Hugs and love to you sis!!!
Posted 7/10/2008 1:14 AM (GMT 0)
Ginny, I am so happy to hear you are finding good results and help from your therapist. Anxiety is a huge issue and must not be ignored. Also, I happy to hear you feel "lighter". This a great start for you! I will keep you in my prayers!
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply